2015-10-17 - 7:02 a.m.

I am super proud of one of my middle school girls who won a LEAP scholarship and attended a summer program at TJ this past summer. We are heading out for a prep course that is part of that program, which helps lower income kids prepare for the entrance exam.

I am MOST proud of her for getting her application done on time and in for this school! That was all her doing. This is not the helicopter parent here.... nor is her Dad who's philosophy is that to motivate one must work with the oppositional defiance I presume he is so familiar with! I am guessing he thinks the best motivator is to act unsupportive and tell the kid she CAN'T do things so she wants to???

I figure it must be some weird tactic which if so seems to work. But boy I wish he would use another and just try being supportive without making it so damn stressful and putting up roadblocks.

About two weeks ago she was struggling with getting a project done and he said "That it. If you don't get this done by tonight you are not going to TJ."

RESULT HOPED FOR: MOTIVATION
ACTUAL RESULT : Hysterical tears and desopondent mood

It didn't work.
Continued result FEAR in both her and also ME that he was not going to be supportive of her desire to go to this school.

STRESS
He was getting the e-mail about the process

RESULT School counselor got a call from the LEAP liason at TJ that her application was not complete as it needed a parent to sign it. I got a call at work yesterday at noon and THANKFULLY my awesome boss let me take a couple hours off during which I went to the library and got on the phone and texted kid and managed to get into the system and complete the parent part.

It was stressful but done.
He ostensibly has been helping her with this so the only thing I figure is that he chose NOT to do the parent part and was holding good on the threat that he would not help her get in .

Well she did not take that as the last word and did not "forget about going to TJ"

She got it done.

He last night told me she has to go to a prep class today but just like this summer failed to give details. I SHOULD HAVE ASKED HE FORWARD THE E-MAIL I am out of the loop (AGAIN) on getting that info by e-mail! Over the summer this happened for the summer program. I brought her day 1 not knowuing WHERE in the building or anything more than at the school.

Same scenario.
We will wing it.... I will bring her. I am just HAPPY HE TOLS ME ABOUT IT AND HE IS MAKING IT PRIORITY

So he seems to have shifted to being supportive once she took it upon herself to push the issue and self directed got her application in.

I am VERY PROUD Of her and thankful for his support at this time! He is picking her up from the program today after I drop her off.
Nice to be working together. We also talked of the SAT and Prep test she has to take for this process so it is nice to see he really is on board with her aspirations.

I just wish he would stop the holding of FEAR Over the head of anyone's dreams. It is some funky weird control tactic.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson_High_School_for_Science_and_Technology

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