2017-02-02 - 8:21 p.m.

Poem I kinda liked. Inspired likely mostly from PMS and being in a cranky mood, and realties of the past ( Was going to mention former lover(s) here ... but not necessary....) , fears of the present (foresight or just projection of assuming the past always repeats itself?)... In any case this is not my reality any moreso than I was in a bit of a melancholy mood and concerned about that joke that I have a type : Creative alcoholic....

and I wrote a poem I kinda like. Rough draft, of course all creative writing benefits from editing;

and my computer is truly on its last legs so I better just save it here if I hope to not lose it. I thought the computer DIED but realized its battery died. Its corner screw holding it together did finally break off completely. The head of the screw popped right off, and there are three tiny other MISSING screws so there is barely anything holding this crappy laptop together. I shift and it pops apart and I have to force it into position again to get it to work. YEAH.. laptop finally almost completely dead.

I get it to work a few minutes and then my tolerance for manipulating it is done and I give up on the marketing work for the arts org I intended to complete. That has happened more times than I even recall in the past months...

So instead I am FIRST saving a poem.

February

I sit home sipping my cup of chamomile
and think about the fact you won’t come here with me
Because I can’t compete with your first and perhaps only true love,
with golden amber smoothness
you hold and caress
while being seduced

Nightly, you let your mistress come
and you drink deeply
letting her in

you are open wide
broken
split apart

and somehow, she fills you
you feel whole
for a moment
brought to that place
Of feeling so fine
Oh, so very fine
the sweet release
the submission
and suddenly you believe you are the master
of this seduction

Love requires such Trust
and release

completely under the spell
two become one

Yet, you are bound
afraid to leave your love
Fearful that you can not feel steady without her

I think I understand

It feels like it is no longer a choice
this seduction

You have been ensnared

alone

are not strong enough to break free

The velvety smoothness
of her swills inside
becomes part of you.

A part you do not know
how to separate from
I think,

As I hear the familiar clink of ice cubes in the glass
clear through the phone line
interrupting our connection
and feel the chill
of love growing cold.

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