Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2017-11-12 - 12:28 a.m.

Live performance of the complete Handel's Messiah with a full chorus and orchestra


this-- one of the rare live performances of Diamanda Galas in the U.S.

The second should win the vote hands down, right?

Ironically I booked a flight as my daughter who is a professional musician (of course does other stuff as had to as well at this point), and a composer herself, was not as excited as I thought she would be when I told her I decided to come see her philharmonic group perform the Messiah

I mean for me it is such an honor to be able to see her sing it!

She said "OH NO!" as it is the one concert she is missing this season to go see Diamanda Galas (who I never before heard of).

My daughter sweetly said, "I wish you had told me. I don't have to go, I can sing" with such angst and disappointment in her voice,

to which I said "NO!"
I get how important this composer is to her.

She invited me to go along.

Not sure as I also am staying with my gentleman friend and honestly was so delighted the chorus concert happens to be at the very church, this beautiful basilica , which is his parish. He has been driving the distance to go to mass there for years at he finds the church itself inspiring.

It truly is beautiful.

I WILL Get to see my oldest child for Thanksgiving, and it was important to me to see her this time.

The younger girls I do get to see often; her only a couple of times a year.

Of late she has not been feeling so well and got a result of a medical test she was happy to get-

as it gave some answers, and as she said "I was so worried they were going to say we can't find anything, its all in your head"

as she said she was really afraid it was all in her head as a possibility itself as well

I told her for years that is what they OFTEN told women who had pain
or no energy

So I GET it she was relieved.
But the confirmation of an actual test that there is something very wrong

well it made me terrified as this in not necessarily a small thing. It could affect her profoundly.

She however is in great spirits, and very hopeful and frankly she is in such a good place.

That made me feel better.

But we have been talking about her health the few times I reached her and were playing phone tag so it was after this real grappling with the issue for ME As to whether it was OK to go see her and leave girls with Dad her

and that was a BIG DECISION

and a hard one to make, but to see my daughter sing the Messiah in my lover's church with him

I mean that felt like such a special , once in a lifetime moment I could not miss!

ANd I SO WANTED to bring her siblings with me to see her sing.

SO to find out she was not intending to sing was a shocking surprise

Like a real life O'Henry story...

But I couldn't ask her to do something because it was important to ME when there was something very important to her and her boyfriend to do.

She wrote an operetta which is sort of in the vein of this avante guard composition style. Her boyfriend also created his own musical work that was produced at their very creative college , which when I heard it thought I saw why they are dating and thought
"I can't wait what they create TOGETHER"

Its remarkable to have such creative kids and watch their gifts blossom.

So I have tried to explain why this is important to these young adults to see this particular composer to my lover. He is a bit more conservative in taste than I am I believe. I am honored she would invite us both to go with them to see her.

Not sure if tickets are even left or if he would even be interested.

But if not, and he prefers to go hear the symphony orchestra perform the Messiah, I will be happy to sit with him in that sacred space and enjoy such beauty.

Funny however, being Catholic, I don't renounce that upbringing, faith and tradition; but hope the church heals where it needs to and grows where it needs to, and I increasingly find myself having to go to other spaces than the suburban Catholic Churches to have an enriched prayer experience. I get distracted by some of the nonsense in these parishes.
Nonsense such as the week after we had two black young people shot dead , the church prayed for our officers but made no mention of that.
The week after Hala's death (which you can read about here ) the Catholic Church I happened to attend (because there is a beautiful statue of Mary created by an artist I sat for), the church prayed for our officers to be safe, and for a stop to persecution of Catholics.

So this last Sun, when I happened to be in the area to drop one daughter off at an event, I decided to go to mass at that same church. Again they prayed for a stop to the persecutions of Christians.

I was again offended.

I mean, really how out of touch with the reality of OUR COMMUNITIES here can they be??

I happen to have been impressed by anyone I met over the years from the ADAMS center. It was not through my Catholic community I met them however, it was when going to the Unity church I heard of ecumenical services. It was going to an event for veterans I met some young people from the ADAMS center participating, and it was going to a MLK Jr. Day celebration I saw a young group from the ADAMS center sing. I have witnessed these young people actively engaged in our community sharing undertanding and truly promoting peace and acceptance.

So I love that the father of the slain Nabra is so beautifully forgiving.

I am working on that.

So tonight I am listening to Diamanda Galas...and WOW , just WOW.

And I am also trying to figure out how to bring to life the work of a composer who approached the arts org I work with....

AND Am contemplating WHY I can't apply for a job posted by another arts org...


I kinda loved the post

But I need to keep providing for family and doing the work I do for the time being.

I do believe the company I work for IS ETHICAL
and I do believe they strive to have honest, sound business judgements made with a moral compass and compassion for people.

Maybe I should consider the possibility.

But I think now I was called to help this composer bring his work to life and need to help market the Spring show of the org I work with. I feel like it is time to pick up my energy and effort devoted to THIS work I have been given.
It is a privelege to have such a great organization to support.

I just don't feel like the post I saw was the job FOR ME.

AT least NOT NOW.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!