2017-12-01 - 11:14 p.m.
I have one Seal album and I have listened to this over and over again.
When I unearth it and put it in my car it is like an old friend I have not seen in a long time.
So after listening to the 2nd album (both first and 2nd were self titled "SEAL" ) I finally found his third album.
Now when you listen to his brilliant music and look at the 2nd album it is hard to NOT miss this man is incredibly gifted albeit clearly narcissistic. One HAS to be to have the likes of Jeff Beck and other icons in the music industry supporting you as back up on an album produced by Trevor Horn and to be so bold as to name it solely after onceself. He has an incredible BAND who CO-WROTE most of the songs on that incredible 2nd album. It is a remarkable piece of art but I surmise in part due to this wonderful COLLABORATION.
So I am not at all surprised when listening to the third album being struck by his writing of his own anger issues.
The third album HUMAN BEING is just another work of artistic genius. It is so honest and emotionally touching that I think wonderfully
I read then of his break ups with the super models he had relationships with over the years. (Of course a narcissist would only date supermodels, right?)
Well, regardless.. having my bestie (at the time-
"No Easy Way"
It just moved me and made me sad but in as oddly good way as it is bitersweet; sad that he writes of the girl being so afraid she would lie out of her fear and yet how he trusts her anyway...
Its sad as there is this acknowledgement which is very cursory... very little and very lightly done but moreso there is the heaviness of lack of personal accountabilty
this writing of him still loving and pining
without truly any actual dept of understanding of the actual DAMAGE he did in his abuse
I don't need to KNOW MORE that the fact he had intense anger issues repeatedly to see that is a reality
When multiple women left and express concern over safety of CHILDREN and he writes of the lady's concern for self and her fear
Its like he has NAMED it but I feel like he didn't really GET IT.
The naming of it is a start. But it is just the start. If an abuser is upset and feeling betrayed by their beloved leaving I feel like they really just have not gotten it-- really just don't at all understand the depth of the pain they have done to another.
For if one understood that they would be begging forgiveness...
Ironic I was going to write its just human nature I guess to be a bit self focused and only fully aware of our own pain.
But it also struck me the title of the album could be an excuse...
I take it as an excuse...
But the reality is MOST of us who are human do not abuse.
I find that an offense.
I suppose it is fair enough for anyone hurt to want acknowledgement of their pain and to want the one who hurt them to apologize. So much a desire that the narcissist will be deeply hurt and write about how they forgave such transgressions of being hurt...
But if they wake up and think about how hurt they have been for the small things like someone seen as LYING in the giving of a kiss when the person REALLY knew they were leaving...
Well then that narcissist just MIGHT think a little bit deeper about how that hurt was so acute to them that MAYBE just MAYBE when they were VOILITLE and SCREAMING and YELLING or HITTING and WILDLY VIOLENT that perhaps those wounds ALSO can be a bit deep and may warrant an apology. Just MAYBE OTHER PEOPLE would like to be able to be the ones to forgive as well.
ABUSERS OUT THERE you want the control. YOU STILL HAVE IT TO SOME EXTENT
WE can never fully forgive if you don't fully apologize and take ownership of your actions.
I suppose that is why the controllers of the world never apologize.
To do so would make them give up that last iota of control that they hold. By not apologizing they never give other's the opportunity for forgiving fully and full resolution. Can you truly ever fogive and fully resolve an issue if the other person doesn't even know enough to allow a meaningful exhange? Maybe one can, but I feel like it very, very rare.
It just does make me a little bit sad.