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2018-03-17 - 5:44 p.m.

Hard to believe I do some actual financial accounting of incoming payments at my job, and here I have two overdraft fees of $12.50 last week!

I moved money to cover an item (forget what it was now) and I swear the bank loves to monkey around with how quickly it will recognize a transfer of funds.

They love to show it on the on-line ledger as if the money is there, but then when use the ATM Card the order of the transaction changes and the withdrawal shows up first, THEN an overdraft and THEN The deposit.

It it pretty much bs.

They have been sued for this before

My bank in particular- a class action lawsuit. That was due to actual coding of bank algorithms to intentionally do such....

And the had to pay hefty fines.

So now, I swear they have not changed the coding and the system still works the same damn, devious way

of course it would... why would they pay to rework a perfectly designed system?

No, now the bank has disclaimers that tell you the funds MAY appear in your online account before items are really processed so if you don't wait three , four days... whatever the time they have written in some user acceptance agreement prior to agreeing to transact business on line or customer service agreement in tiny print somewhere no one reads and even less if did read would fully understand....
so now It is legit and legal for them to continue to use a deviously designed system intended to make banks money and encourage racking up of income acquired via overdraft "fees".

It's bullshit, especially since the overdraft just pulls money I had in my savings automatically into my checking to cover the amt. So it was a $12.50 cost for the transaction to move that money that they charged to me.

ABSOLUTE BS. The second overdraft then occurred when a check written went through that I totally forgot about and had not accounted for when looking at how much money was in my account! It was a check for payment of AP Exams as two of my girls are taking a few of those.

Back to the point... Shocking I work in the financial services industry at all.
And further shocking I am managing some accounting tasks.

When I fall prey to bank schemes designed for those who don't keep careful records and are living paycheck to paycheck and prone to falling short...

I am happy with my finances overall at this point. The financial industry job provides great peace of mind once I got used to not working three jobs, and once I get over still working crazy hours out of some compulsion as I AM USED TO IT.

It was great to have health insurance, and go see my DR. for a check up then take care of some things recommended.

And being able to afford it.

It is great I can find a chiropractor to consult (I think better than regular MD who will just order an e-ray to confirm there is something I tore in my knee that is a muscle or tendon or something connected to the thigh at the knee and that messing up my knee messed up that muscle AS WELL as one that connects to the shin area. I did something to that knee that then resulted in the upper left thigh pain and lower shin pain. Its been five or six weeks and I expected by now it would have healed and gotten better, not worse.)

I don't need an X ray to confirm what I know. I need a physical therapist or a chiropractor who will know how to fix it. They won't need an x ray to immediately be able to identify the muscle issue (I am rather sure!).

That athletic trainer would have been awesome to consult, but he was the alcoholic I did not want to see... and I deleted his name and # and can't even recall it. If I remember it I would be willing to make a professional appointment and pay him for his expertise. That would be fine as not too much of an entanglement to do business with him! But honestly I don't even recall the guys last name , although I know, despite being an alcoholic he has the expertise and is really good at what he does and would be a great resource. HE was the guy who worked for the Redskins as a trainer for a number of years. I think it was a couple DWIs that lost that job for him after some time frankly... along with the same impacting his work at the local schools for football season. He now drives and works in surrounding counties for Football just far enough away no one knows the history. He was a rather sad soul I thought who just never was able to overcome his addiction clearly and I think was living off good will , friend's couches, lots of vodka hidden in whatever drink was on hand, beer, and naive unsuspecting women who did not do their homework who might help him out for a time... a string of dependencies on whomever he could find to support him for a while. It just seemed so awfully sad to see someone so afflicted that has nothing in life despite a really solid, good paying career he had loved. I mean he was paid good money and was talented and good at his job so it is so awful to see someone who lost that due to such profound illness.

It happens all the time.

And then never made gains. To have nothing in life but the need for your next drink.


I still would call him and love to have his help. He gave a damn good massage and as a sports trainer he would know EXACTLY what to do for this very painful leg and know exactly what exercises to teach me. That would be the BEST healthcare I could find, and I would not begrudge paying the alcoholic so he can go get his next drink and meal. I sure as heck did not want to be entangled, but paying for his actual services at his profession is a very different thing. But for the life of me I can not recall his last name.

HE was just one of those guys who wanted to sleep with me... and I was essentially not at all interested....

Ce la vie...

Figures. There is never a shortage of men who would LIKE to be involved. Or not even involved.... but just have those basic needs met. But for some reason so darn rare a guy I am actually INTERESTED in.

Messed up I know.

CE la vie.

I am just picky and have to have both a smart man and one I am physically attracted to. Its a pheremone thing, and I also thing for me also this very spiritual thing; Two souls resonating thing. I suppose despite my pragmatism I still am the ultimate romantic that thinks we are temples of the spirit and IT DOES Matter what we choose to put into our bodies , into our whole selves, and we SHOULD be really careful about what we eat and who we choose to let into our worlds. For we change ourselves by those choices.

Yet of course our ultimate goal is to achieve perfect love.

That ultimate goal of loving beyond ourselves.

I wish I spent more time reading the Indian Philosophy I was so drawn to as a teen and young adult.
I wish I took more time in that study.

Instead I studied law in an aspiration for it to merely be a tool in a life of service.

But my acts of love and service first and foremost are to my kids.

So they have to be the center of my world

and that means providing needs for starters.

I love my son has been taught to not worry about our carnal needs as we will be provided for, we will provide ourselves, and what opportuinty and things we need in life will manifest.

I believe that but believe many are just not open to embrace such opportunities.
They most of all just do not pay attention to the universe when it speaks to them, they do not tap into the consiousness which we are all a part of which is all around. If we learn to be still and listen there is a clarity that can be found.

Most don't take time to be still.

Or to listen to the silence.

Its a wonderful gift to be able to do that.

It nice to have a day not working. I did intend to go do volunteer work tonight, but that was also based on the assumption that we would have completed by now the chores that just have to be done. The laundry, the putting together of a dresser I ordered for the teen who has joined our household. Now I have two teens living with me. This child is so very tired today and always.I really need to get her to a Dr. to find out if there is anything that can be identified and helped. She could have mono or worse... she complains of joint pain, and tiredness and exhaustion. It could just be she is eating a crappy sugar rich diet despite the fact I don't buy crap. She stops at the store and buys herself crap. (She is 17 after all, and sometimes has her own money. So she buys bags of large marshmallows and candy and then eats it in a day or two. I try not to bother her about food too much as don't want to exasperate her food issues and body issues. Tough thing to manage teen girls... as if call too much attention to diet or act controlling that is MORE likely for a teen girl to have issues.)

So we need to try to get the house organized.

One other child sprung it on me today as we were out and about together that she wants me to take her to a college to visit . She unfortuately told her Dad I am taking her, but that was beacuse she WANTED Me to do so, but she failed to ASK me ahead of time. Sure she mentioned it MONTHS ago asking if I thought she should visit. I said Sure, and yes I said I would be happy to bring her. However that was before she picked a date and before she told me Dad was bringing her an upcoming weekend. It happens to be when I am scheduled to work!

So I called around to see if I can find someone to cover that shift for me.

WOW, So teen girl living with me just started singing.

I love hearing this.

So what if she is rather lazy? I still get the joy of music in my home when she is hear! : )

So what if I was supposed to motivate this kid to clean her stuff up and do her laundry and help her put together a dresser and we did not achieve that today.
I did go to a coffee shop with one teen early this AM, and then walked the dog and visited a NY Style bagel shop where she was happy to get lox and a bagel where we then both enjoyed a lovely walk home during fluffy falling snow. It was really pretty and lovely and strange as it didn't feel exceptionally cold out! When we left it was sunny and I thought warm so we were enjoying bagels and coffee at the outdoor table where we could sit with the puppy when it started snowing large plump flakes.

Time with my teens. We all needed that I think.

I was tired after my Thu excursion to see a play. I will write about that play another time. Wrote enough for now, but just to say it was so enjoyable having ME time.

I LOVED taking off work early (I put in so many damn hours I just ledgered a couple on Thu instead of Fri. Worked 6 hrs Thu but about 9 Fri so it worked out.... and last week an obscene 48 hrs leaving at 10pm last Friday night. I VOWED To NOT continue to do that and the going to a show was a specific task to BREAK the workaholic habit and have some balance in my life!!!)

Tired and think an after dinner nap might rejuvinate me to get energy myself to do the chores.
So that is my plan... doze a little then tackle the dresser .

We ordered this dresser for $129 on line AMAZON I think... it was made and shipped from Canada and is lovely real wood. Looks like decent quality.

I thought today as my daughter looked at the parts and was so overwealmed it made her exhausted that she got as far as taking it out of box, reading instructions then retreated under a blanket on the coach to hide with some Asian drama (K POP Drama...)

I had to go meet older daugher...
then later motivated only one of the two teens to go out for the walk. *I celebrate each success... one out of bed and up and about with me getting exercise and talking with me for an hour or more is good!

Gave the dog a bath today , groomed and cut got some chores done.

I also spoke with the dog trainer who has a doggie manners class coming up that we will be going to. The first class is for the people of the home, then the rest for the dog and people. I need ALL The people of the home to participate so we are all consistent!

Darn I wish I had more energy to be more consistent in my behavior training....

Its a challenge as a parent with ADHD to be consistent actually.

SO I came on line as needed two things: 1. a Leather leash (which I ordered . We have a retractable one I like but the dog trainer asked for nylon or leather and does not approve of the retractable for some reason I forget) and
2. We need a household organizational calendar of some sort. A co-worker recommended the Trello app, but I don't want an electronic version. I want something to hang on the wall to assign chores with, and to see the month's calendar. So my oldest daughter who of late lets me know she needs a ride somewhere last minute, gets more organized and does not *Forget* To mention important things.

My girls are awful at mentioning important things and I am awful at remembering important things so the combination is...well... rather awful as I forget about some, (like a band concert! UGH! I had a MARKETING MEETING during one... so dumb... then I found out up as already scheduled the meeting and invited people went to it anyway which was ALSO REALLY DUMB. Should have missed it!)

OR The college visit, which kid forgot to tell me she would like a ride to, or another singing thing she was to be at last weekend which I found out about late on Saturday for a Sunday commitment! She is lucky I was NOT working as I do work weekends some times still!

OK, to my nap. I am not going to volunteer tonight for the event I did marketing work for. I will help them tomorrow and that will be enough. I am too tired and have stuff here to get done..



Then I will find the calendar (ordered the leash), do some laundry and onto dresser assembly!

THIS Is why some women marry good men they ARE NOT attracted to in the least. If all else is there in the man but that visceral attraction, they choose the relationship, I swear just to not have to deal with house projects. Times like this I get it... I get it that having the guy who assumes it is his job to get the damn dresser assembled is sometimes very nice!

Times like this I think of that hiking partner of mine...

I get it , I really do..

I just couldn't do it.

Ce la vie.

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