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2019-03-24 - 9:39 p.m.

I really will figure out how to post picutures here someday. Maybe tonight...

I have a few of the puppy.

But first this cause it made me so happy considering I paid bills this evening and sent off $50 to The Carter Center, one of the few non profits I fiscally support.

Carter was not considered the best U.S. President,

but I think in hindsight some realized he was not the worst either

and despite that,
I still think he is a great man.

His genuine humility, caring and international leadership has reached more countries than most diplomats.

His foundation unassumingly literally eradicatated river blindness.

Just think about that, a serious health condition that affected many in some of the poorest countries was literally eradicated by the work of the Carter Center.

Jimmy and Rosalind Carter don't spent money on massive marketing campaigns, broadcasting this to the world, they just quietly did it.

I happen to live not far from DC. I happen to have an old neighbor (from before my divorce) that my ex husband and I used to dine with in our community gatherings. The man has since passed, but for twenty years was parliamentarian of the house of representatives. YES , that house... well this man was the most gracious, welcoming , approachable and kindest man I met, along with his amazing wife who also worked on Capital hill under a number of administrations in various roles. Main point being that when he talked about his development work on emerging democracies which he did after retiring from the house, he spoke of the work Jimmy Carter did. I recall bringing one of Jimmy Carter's books when it was published to his wife after his passing as I could think of no more appropriate gift to honor her husband and express my condolences than the words of Jimmy Carter- perhaps the only other man who could match her husband in his dedicated selfless service to our country with such humble grace.

It struck me that this Parliamentarian was Quaker. I was fascinated in hearing him explain how problems were solved in the Quaker tradition and how he applied these same principals in diplomacy.

Read more here if interested. I was riveted when this was described to me years ago.

I am sure this reading is just a balm for me. Some watch soaps to escape, some ladies read and fantazize over harlequins (oh but would NEVER admit it ) , some find a bottle of wine as a balm...

Oh but I wane philosophical.
That is after my go to of finding my son's singing (as there are some recordings out there- usually a recent audition clip; OH I find them, even if intended for a casting agent only...)

and reading about counseling services and counselors available...
and asking Katie if she would go with me to work on OUR relationship (cause she cursed at me again, with no provokation again)- to which she said "I am not going anywhere with you"

Will see....

I could just next Sat remind her of that when she is supposed to go visit a college. But I won't
Cause I WANT her to be able to go to college
I WANT to keep trying to navigate workign with her and hope I motivate her to get a job

I WANT her to get out of the house every day and earn money and be able to afford to go to the very good school she did get into (With beautiful scholarships- but still a gap she has to pay).

MY new tactic in dealing with her is that I just put a quote of her comment on the whiteboard calendar on the fridge. When kids were little there were stickers there on a chart for good behavior. I thinkI will just quote every fowl thing that comes from her mouth with dates and times so she can actually SEE it in the aggregate. Maybe she will understand how bad her habit is. And I am thinking on any day she DOESN't CURSE I will treat her like a 5 year old with a positive reinforcer. I should just buy skittles like used to potty train. ( I don't remember if we used them its so darn long ago....)

Heck she is sugar addict.... not best to encourage that. But I have to do SOMETHING.

Katie truly is just not very mature for her age. She acts really emotionally regressive to be honest.

Ready to go to bed. Will do my reading and hit the hay. Hope this week is a good one at work.

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