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2019-12-01 - 1:41 p.m.

So my confusion upon happening upon lover boy when he was actually home with all his family and girlfriend that shocked my sensibility was explained by the Facebook post at 3pm Thanksgiving day of dinner at her home. They just came back to his place AFTER the early dinner and before traveling.

So she was the host. There he was with his adult children and spouses, and her and her family visiting from out of state, and her three beautiful young children.

He is clearly not in the shadows.

Hell no

Just a little obvious that his nonsense of her keeping him distant is BS.

More like she has opened up herself to the extent she can, clearly inviting his whole family into her world. Clearly inviting him to travel to her parents home and home state of extended family.

That is not keeping him at a distant. If she is reticent about physical intimacy and has boundaries regarding that, it is only one aspect of the relationship he needs to work on with her together. Don't just go fuck someone else and thing that issue will get better.

Seems pretty clear to me HE is the one keeping her at a distance. He is not letting her into fully know HIM and he has some issues that he needs to address.

Like his inability to be faithful when married.
His need for sex as validation when he is feeling insecure.

Like the fact if he is not sleeping with her he feels rejected and is looking for a lover to fill that need of his.

DAMN it reminds me of the same issues that my gentleman friend in Buffalo had with his one serious ex. In a nine year relationship he cheated on her dozens of times. I try to now see him differently after that knowledge. I understand his insecurity. I get it that he has fear of commitment issues. Etc.. Etc....

Funny these two men likely share the similar challenges, or same challenge

and my assessment of it is really simple.

They are misogynistic.


Conditioned to have objectified women and use women for self validation when have a low self esteem as somehow their ego, their sense of self is validated by the virility of their masculinity.

Being desired

but then WHEN THEY ACTUALLY WANT A relationship there is this severance of celebration of their sexuality and virile manhood from the relationship

So they develop the relationship but there is not a good sex life within it as for some reason I presume it is THESE MEN themselves who are not adept at nurturing that...
and they enjoy their sexuality elsewhere.

That is my theory.

So are all Christian /Catholic men just fucked up when it comes to understanding their own sexuality, embracing it and celebrating it and ENJOYING it WITHIN a relationship with a Christian woman??

Is is really so fucking hard?

To not be damaged
To not be misogynistic
and still chose a Christian perspective as the chosen community to become a part of, for your Sunday worship and inspiration and conception of God?

Maybe is it antithetical?
Christianity and not being misogynistic?

This man has to have some space to figure himself out. I will advise him he perhaps is going about it wrong. He needs to rather LET HER IN and stop looking elsewhere to meet his needs. Try to actually push through those issues to conjoin the relationship he has with the other part of himself seeking that sexual union with another. Try to meet both needs and desire in ONE relationship for a change. Don't separate the sexual part of self from the rest of self and start being honest

OR If you are going to live poly-amorously then do so consciously and honestly.

Both would at first be uncomfortable as BOTH require actually being honest first and foremost with self.

I feel for the man's suffering, I actually do as truly the one he is lying to most is his self. I know both these men may be hurt by my assessment but feel like truth can hurt. You need go go through pain however to grow. No one overcomes such negative, destructive views unless they are aware of them and challenge them.


I just wish could meet a man that could actually be fully connected BOTH emotionally and physically and not separate self by physical or emotional distance SOME DAY.

Oh wouldn't that be nice.

But until then...
I remain single.

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