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2020-10-11 - 9:47 a.m.

Update on the weird Fall itchy rash.


I am convinced I encountered the mites elsewhere, not in clothes stored in closet or my environment simply as that rash appeared before it got cooler.

I did get my room.vacumed and decluttered by finally getting rid of two overflowing bins of clothes and laundry things that were never put away.

My house is still in need of further decluttering! Never got my room perfectly clean to put off the flea bomb and just as well as seeing no signs of fleas or further itchiness since using the premethin cream.

Its just so weird! I think it was Art's space as I stopped by there and he is living in what used to be an in law suite.His mother passed a couple years ago now and he was telling me what help his Dad needed cleaning the house after he moved in with him. Heck I was helping Art actually straighten and get organized. It was dusty as heck.

Linens in a closer for years. He apprechiated the help, but beteeen the car and that dusty space thst hadn't been inhabited that he is cleaning and transforming ( he's been there a few months now since break up of his relationship) I think that was the bad luck for me that for some darm reason
DUST MITES like me!!!

Its annoying.

I am over being angry at Art. I still have no desire to be his lover but wished he wanted to collaborate artistically. I suppose for him the muse comes from the well of loving overflowing that he needs to express.

I have told him my artistic vision. He has one of the most incredible paintings of Jesus I have ever seen painted after an intensely transformative experience. He has a depth of spirituality which draws upon to create when he carves animals out of wood. He has spent time in sweat lodges and with a native community that welcomed him. His daughter now in 20s, end up in California as a spiritual guide ( she uses Tarot) , and she now introduces him to informative works which as traditional Catholic he has has welcomed as open to divergent prayer practices he is enriched by and gets excited about then delves into. He knowns the intricaciesof numerology as thirty years ago delved into that with obsession.

I hope we can collaborate. He is not painting.

I am challenging him to.

But I told him you can create those conditions it is not just the ecstasy of your transformation of conversion, or of falling in love and then honoring the sacred beauty of that love, but also by entering deep into prayer that can bring one to that spiritual state.

He sent me a text on Fri night.
" lets collaborate"

I sent back

Prepare your studio space.
Something like that...forget how phrased. But essentially clearly focusing on the spiritual vision of the project idea shared and not focused on the physical creation of ecstacy.

I can't go there with him unless I were to allow him in my world completely.

That is not going to work for me and my family.I won't get into the why( just leave it at passionate Italian and I know enough to know its a very bad idea.)

I am also so disappointed that the church he is working at in the job he is enjoying as its facilities, maintaince director mentioned they want a statue of their patron saint and asked if he would provide a quote.

He told Father there he can't compete with the folks already set up with machine shops. Those folks specializing in mass produced mostly memorial statues.

Meanwhile, I sat once for another artist who created an incredible statue at another local church with a 50 mile radius. She didn't say "No, I will cost too much"

She gave a quote, hand sculpted the work of art and it is incredibly beautiful.

It makes me sad he has not been creating. So freakin talented.

Sigh....will see. If he wants to do the work I will collaborate. If he doesn't I will focus on my own creativity. The thing is the silence after my response to his "lets collaborate" sent on Fri night makes me think he really was being a bit playfully facetious... he did not mean in studio. He's looking for the muse surely. But not through prayer. He has said many times "I am a simple man. I want some goid work. To be respected, goid food and cold beer and great sex ." Yup.

In other news I dropped off my car for inspection and to get the air conditioner/heater fixed. I have THE BEST mechanic! Oil change, lights and wipers replaced and air/heat fixed for $329.

The blower has been broken for over a year (maybe two) . After driving a Volvo and being gouged by the dealer for repairs back when actually wealthy I still have no sense of what NORMAL repair costs should be when not going to the rich person's shops. Car repair places in a market are like everything else! You can pay premium for the status and included pampering and convenience of good coffee, snacks "complimentary " ride or loaner car and detailing. Or. You can drop the car off at a mechanic on the bus line, hop on a bus home and back when it's ready. And then go visit a car wash and have then clean it ( or if energy do it yourself).

I feel blessed I can drop the 30 or 40 ( prices here!) For car to be cleaned well.

No energy.

So after picking up the car Fri night I was looking forward to what has evolved as Covid College Radio Alum community gathering every few Friday nights.

It occurred to me that since my Dublin friend, former College DJ as well as iconic campus personality of rick star, is five hours ahead of us was already a few drinks in eagerly awaiting virtual company, I would swing by the winery to see if I could zoom there and catch the georgous sunset and share the incredible view.

Well I pulled in, noticed one car ...but it was a bad time. Lady and child sitting on the porch. My friend busy in kitchen along with a worker obviously. He said "Somebody's having a birthday party" as he whisked by with a platter of cheese and meat (forget the fancy French name Chartreuse cones to mind but thsts bot it...thats a yellow color. Right? Some "C" french word to make your cheese and meat sound fancier and wine accompanying worthy!)

So no porch hanging for me.

I told him was driving by so just stopped...and that last Fri I was dead to the world by the time saw his text.
Well the other three timesxhe texted. ..

He knows I am keeoing him in the friend zone. We have this pattern.

He is an avid texter, i am not
He wants compNt in his world
I like to visit once in a while but keep from getting sucked in
The spend some time together then protect space and boundaries dance we do.

Pretty good at it however as he does know how to be a goid friend and likewise. I am his friend and habe supported him just by being present through some of his ugky. ( don't we all sometimes have moments of being a mess?).

I listened as he delt with the transition of his now daughter. ( My kids her friend and we all were completely unsurprised! Only surprise for me honestly is that his birth born daughter , well, presented adrogynous and fir a while in HS I thought male so the surprise is the the other sibling came out to Dad first! My friend does not yet seem to be aware he has not one but two LGBTQ children. In time ....unless I am mistaken, which is of course possible.

In any case. Back to main point:

How many people expected
"Not sure", as a car arrived.
"They are coming from Herndon and Reston.

The lady and her dsughter were Hispanic, as were the two men and I think a few young boys that arrived in the second car.

I did not see masks.

My friend and his worker that was preparing a bowl of hard bpiled eggs ( of vourse Lol) did not have masks.

My friend said "Here take some eggs" and hands me a carton ( fresh not boiled) not quite full) from the sales fridge as he is saying "Bad time. Text first next time")

So glad I impromptu stopped by.
Yes it is an outdoor event
Yes he is rather sure he already had COVID since as he told me a few months baxk upon his return to states a group of his workers caught it.

But NO. He is not being mindful
And NO the winery isnt completely closed. But he is running private events.
So that make me not want to spend time with him at this point.

Glad he is a friend I can connect with once every 6 mos or so!!

I went home yo enjoy my Friday night Zoom.

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