2021-04-23 - 8:17 p.m.
I got a call from my friend I often walk with on Sat mornings but was busy at the time and meant to call her back.
I should... but am really ready to read and go to bed. Perhaps will call just to say quick hello. We didn't have plans for this weekend ( I know she is busy), but she is good about calling just to nurture friendship. That is something I don't tend to do with much intention.
I suppose it is something I should do more of...
but when done working I am tired and feel the need to rest after household chores done.
In my ostensible part time job I worked 8 hours today. There were things to do... things to be done timely... then the things done to be filed so they can be found later...
That organization of email, and files is the HARDEST part for me!
I am GREAT at coming up with a schema-
Truth be told I am not THAT bad. I have found at work I often help others find things! but its the weird thing... I can help them but then have moments where I can't find my OWN stuff. I help them with where things are in shared drives. The problem I realize is for me any ONE OFF items. Things that are not like the other. Then I never know what I decided to do with them! Those are the things I can't find later...as there are SO Many ways to organize - so which did I use???
"A place for everything, everything in its place" is SUCH A good mantra to simplify life, be efficient and then free up time for more personally valuable things.
But such is the challenge of the ADHD brain.
I had a good work week.
Only interrupted the CEO in our conversation TWICE this afternoon.
And he said so graciously "I'm sorry" as he kept talking ignoring that I just did that...
I said " no, I am sorry as I interrupted" on one of the occasions
It was rather awesome.
He also GETS It that there is a place for my skills being an asset.
I am NOT A PUSHY person, just EXCITED and sometimes get too excited and a bit impulsive
I do a fair job ( not great that is for sure) Some days a crappy job? (But that is at home when relaxing and letting guard down.
The thing is I LIKE this CEO as think his brain is similar to mine so I think he "Gets " ME
That is so critical to success in a working relationship
HE DID clearly appreciate that on a call with a downright AGRESSIVE super PUSHY obnoxious attorney I held my own.
Frankly that is where, as the VP I supported said "You are a rock star" YES I did get that compliment in the past.
It is my forte.
I can spar with the best of uber aggressive obnoxious with calm, collected demeanor in a very rational and well thought out response on the fly.
I am just really gifted at EXTEMPORANOUS speaking.
NOT so with extemporaneously crafted emails, or normal chit chat and banter. Just in that odd sense that I can do that well in an intellectual debate.
It's so very quirky and I know this about myself.
I seem flighty but will remember with precision some essential detail months later, while forgetting if I sent out that email I drafted...
And then I am capable of forgetting EVeN the things that OTHERS would have stress, panic, lose sleep over. I couldn't care less once I move onto the next thing--
I don't hold onto any stress or worry..
So that being said its a bit of a LIE that I walk away with NO stress held or I would not be writing now on a Friday night at 8:33.
I am writing now TO LET IT GO... so that not holding onto the stress of the current negotiation IS MY TRUTH NOW...
The highlight of my week personally had to be meeting with a business coach,
OK but again, work and professional life related so not going to put any more energy into that until EARLY MON morning.
* deliverable due by 8:30AM (IF I write it I remember it better as that is the kind of thing I am inclined to work late on a FRI just so no possibility of forgetting. But I GOT THIS!!)
I am trying to BREAK a pattern of WORKING TOO LONG , TOO LONG HOURS, TOO MANY HOURS
So I need to use OTHER tactics to overcome challenges than WORKING LONGER And LATER just to avoid forgetting a deadline that is due,
Working EARLIER might be considered the SAME thing- but for me it is in fact VERY different.
I am a morning person. I do my best work with greatest efficiency in early mornings.
The crazy thing is in my last job I often started the day early, logging on at 7AM with consistency but then would be just a minute or so late in connecting for that 8:20AM call,
So the things I am working on (STILL ) are TRANSITIONS from one thing to the next with efficiency.
Its the ADHD challenge. There are steps to stop one task and shift gears and engage in another. MOST do them more quickly than the ADHD person. For some reason it is the kinks of those things regarding organization and the process of HOW work gets done that are a huge challenge. The executive functioning skill set- NOT to be mistaken for intellectual critical thinking.
In fact there are a fair # of leaders, CEOS, PREDIDENTS even ( ok I think I should take that out as an example.... recent history makes it a less compelling argument of arguing competence and skill at performing leadership roles despite executive functioning deficiencies.
Speaking of executive functioning deficiencies-
I am not sure if it is Teenage brain
They look at me like I am the one who just entered their planet uninitiated with the culture, and I am just an idiot they have to chide and educate in the ways of their world.
Here is an actual conversation so you can see what I mean:
Teen: There are NOoooo clean glasses
Mom: That is because no one finished loading the dishes and ran the dishwasher.
Teen in Frustration: MOM that is because YOU leave all the dishes in the dishwasher but don't run it! You are supposed to run it ! Stop putting dishes in the dishwasher and not running it
YOUNG "ADULT" IN NAME ONLY NOT YET ADULTING : YES you don't unload the diswasher and there is no where to put the dishes so they have to go in the sink.
MOM: YOU could stop putting dirty dishes in the sink without looking in the dishwasher to see there is room in there for them. YOU should have put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher and run it. Then you would have had a clean glass. I have asked you NOT to leave dishes in the sink,
TEEN The dirty dishes belong in the sink
YOUNG "ADULT" IN NAME ONLY NOT YET ADULTING The dishwasher should have CLEAN dishes in it and it doesn't cause you always put the dirty ones in but don't run it! " Wha , wha , wha , wha " ( htink of the peanuts sound effects for the noise of the adults that really makes no sense to children as this being went off on me on the same theme... forget the exact nonsensical words but the tone of voice was rather sharp, ugly and mean.... "When you put dishes in the dishwasher RUN IT!"
MOM : You both have this backwards- (as both of them walked away and went upstairs) Completely backward to the way most households run- MOST don't STORE clean dishes in a dishwasher but unload it and put them away and THEN when you dirty the dishes you can put them right into the dishwasher UNTIL FULL
How is it I am the alien here in this home?
Just completely outnumbered by teenage brain
Its like one collective big brain that only speaks nonsense in my home is the dominant force right now.
I found it rather depressing yesterday after that nonsensical exchange.
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