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2021-05-16 - 10:14 p.m.

I pitched idea of a family vacation; cabin in woods in a beautiful spot in the mountains of WV.

Teen and young adult not interested.

I asked "Where would you WANT to go if you could go anywhere on vacation."

The 19 yr old said "but you can't afford it so will say no"

I asked- "But where?"

The 19 yr old said "Tokyo"

Flights are about 800 round trip from where we live. Considerably cheaper than I expected frankly- and are direct flights.

So I looked up youth hostels

and said
"Well maybe I can't send the whole family but if you want to go maybe you can make it a goal and you could go."

To which they put down the idea.
I suggested if it was a desire make it a goal and plan long term for it. Save money over time.

19 yr old said "If I had money I wouldn't live here"

I said , well maybe you can earn enough for a trip.

and they said "If I had money like that I would move out."

I said, "Thing is I think you would have to have much more, and have to be able to work alot to be able to move out- but maybe it IS realistic to just work part time, very few hours but save for a goal like that while living here, even if you can't work enough to live on your own yet."

The conversation ended with the young adult getting angry saying CAN"T work as disabled,
I said "Perhaps could work a part time job, just a few hours- like the one I did today".

I have a receptionist weekend gig that would be perfect for someone who is not able to be physical. Just need to be courteous (OK that might be HARD for my kids but they CAN DO IT if they want to), kind and helpful to people who come by or call.

Conversation devolved into me being accused of abelism as if the whole point of the conversation was for me to try to pressure this young adult into thinking of a job...
that was not the point or intent at all,
the point was to find something that was FUN and MOTIVATING frankly for the fmaily to do together.

But when one of the young adults had a particular interest, the point was to encouarage that it is very possible to make it a goal and work toward meeting that goal if really want it. But they would have to figure out a way.

Being disables is a challegne, but it does not mean can't do ANYTHING. That is such a negative, "I give up" attitude.

So foreign to me.
I don't get it at all.

I said in the conversation, Just get a job for only a few hours once in a while

My kid said "What if my sleep schedule is messed up when I am supposed to work"

I Said "YOu do it anyway; go to work and then crash and sleep to recover the next day or more if you need."
kid ranted on how that is not healthy, way to end up hospitalized and in debt...

So fatalistic.

I said "BUT you could TRY it and MAYBE it will work out, and maybe if you are excited about what you are saving money for that will give some energy"

but they are in a negative place mentally regarding their ability. Just disappointing.

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