2021-08-12 - 11:45 p.m.

At least when my 20 yr old decides to yell at me "Get the fuck out of here you fucking bitch! Do you know what time it is?"

I know not to engage and just ignore it in the moment and have this to read:

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/i-hate-you-mom-i-wish-you-were-dead-when-kids-say-hurtful-things/

I went to the basement where there is a filter on the faucet to fill the water cooler that I keep in the fridge. I have to fill it once a day.

It was 100 degrees here in VA today.

The house now likely has cooled overall about 15 degrees. In my bedroom it has thankfully cooled even further as I have the window open with a fan blowing cool evening air in.

But the living room and kitchen downstairs are definitely still in the 80s!
My one teen fell asleep and I went in the room to open her closed window and got yelled at by her. She angrily shut the window as she would rather have it hot than have me go in her room without permission ( The door was open and she was asleep! I want the cross ventilation tonight (which is only possible if one my teens assent to open their windows) or the air is still!! I need that window open for the upstairs to have air flow and all cool down. The thing is my room gets OK but her room will be 15 degrees cooler if she would just open the darn window. I have no clue why bug bites are that terrifying and that uncomfortable to her that she would rather be hot. She has a screen on her window but it must have some gaps where it meets the frame or holes as she said bugs get in and she doesn't want to be bitted.
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So that was encounter with cranky teen #1 whom I work up after trespassing in the private space of her room! (

I was just doing the normal evening routine:

Dishes
Open all the windows to cool the house down
Go to the basement to fill the water container ) I was thinking of this as the one kid has band camp in AM so I need to mix up an electrolyte for her to take. She will not do that herself so I have been doing it as it is better she bring that than just water.
Oh yeah.. so the basement dweller almost adulting inhabitant heard the noise of me filing the water. I also put that AC on78 rather than 72 as I am paying the bills so can let the AC cycle off and on and not run nonstop as trust me, after it is 100 the AC set to 78 is sufficient to make the basement confrontable.

I just and dozed off then awoke at it is clearly time to go to bed.. but will finish this first....

Venting just makes me feel better after my kid is abusive to me. I am just not confident having followed advise like that in the article has made a positive different in my kid.

I hope long term it will.... but really at 20 I would have expected my kid would have overcome being abusive.to me.

I mean this is not a LITTLE KID!! Sheesh....

but soon enough he will be on his own and have to figure out how to have self control.

I had gone back downstairs after the first complaint from the first teen, and as I was down there the basement dweller comes out of his room and said something like "What the fuck are you doing ?" SUPER loudly and I said "Shhh!!" As the other young adult was sleeping in the other basement room and I was worried he was going to wake him. I had been very quite so as to not disturb the sleeping person but the sibling who was in the OTHER room with the door shut heard me anyway!

At that point I just ignored the abusive manner of his rudeness and answered "Filling the water pitcher"

and left.

BUT knowing the kid was awake, after I was laying in my bed I remembered that this kid is going back to college and will need to get the required COVID test to move back to campus.

Since I am driving him back soon, I thought I best ask if he is aware of the requirement and since he thinks he is an adult and professes to want to take care of self without interference, I wanted to respect that aspiration but at least ASK if there was a plan and suggest where to go on line to schedule the test if he had not done so yet.
You can't wait til last minute as it is harder to find a testing spot then! You have to do this a couple days ahead of time, especially now with the spikes happening!

SHEESH! That cursing and calling me a bitch is the response..

I think of this kid as very emotionally stunted in his growth and very emotionally immature
.
I am just going to schedule the test for him.. I have to keep doing my best and hope I am taking the best approach and facilitating healing and modeling and teaching emotional regulation and not enabling!

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