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2021-10-09 - 11:12 a.m.

One last bit of writing as this is apparently what I need to do to decompress this morning.

I WANTED to plant the Fall bulbs that arrived however this is to be an unseasonably warm week. No night below 50s and 60s. That is ten degrees hotter than average; and frankly a bit too warm for optimal weather for Fall bulbs going in. It is also to be very wet this week-
so best wait for cooler and perhaps dryer weather so the bulbs don't get diseased.

Bummer I was kinda excited to plant for a few hours before work at the retirement community today. Something PHYSICAL would feel good. My ankle is getting better but not yet a good idea to go for a run.

Swimming would be good I think- perhaps will plan mornings to hit the indoor pool in the area.

Oh yeah the hot eye candy there is nice to visit too! Just thought of THAT motivator. NOT any kinda vibe of interest or anything other than "STAY AWAY" vibes do I get from him.... as in vibes of self absorbed and VERY self aware of his handsomeness. He is the kind of person I was musing about who just wear their sensuality and attractiveness almost like a weapon!! HA H A THEY KNOW they can slay anyone they yield it on so there is this sense of danger.. which may be weirdly attractive if you ALSO have any bit of narcissism in you. Oh the challenge...
I just sense DANGER from him...

BUT Actually I jest as he just has a beautiful warm smile and makes everyone he talks to feel like they are special. YES A gift. and YES it is fun to just flirt with him a bit and he is damn attractive eye candy which is great once in while ( I don't seek that out but notice when encounter it!! )

Swimming a goal
his presence a motivator to get my ass there to swim

The very REAL presence of a young hot lover a VERY BIG motivator to get my ass there and swim too!

Funny thing is a month ago I was fit after my biking and running... and did not see the lover for the past month!! He should have called me then. He was busy traveling to New England and I was traveling.... what not..

just did not connect.
I laughed as was telling him how i JUST DON'T GET the young persons concept of being "Ghosted" if you don't get a text in a few days or a call regularly from someone.

I am like "Leave me the fuck alone for a good period before you call ME AGAIN or I might feel my space is encroached on!"

But then again I was KICKED OUT of trying to use E harmony

they told me my answers to questions violated policy!

LOL

the honest answers to how you prefer to communicate!

I wrote
DON't TEXT ME I HATE TEXTING

That is hilarious to me that that violates their policy!!

Seemed ANTI SOCIAL I suppose?

But I think it is not really. In MY WORLD it is a HEALTHY Sense of boundaries.

Let people be in their own spaces and their own worlds and enjoy their company when they invite you in!

IN TIME of course the attachment and connection and desire to enjoy each others company and create a NEW World together MIGHT HAPPEN

but I am not keen on this enmeshment kind of dating from the get go!
To me that is a recipe for codependency and UNHEALTHY Attachment.

But what do I know... twice divorced and likely a commitment phobe...
lol

I just hope I am not ACTUALLY emotionally unavailable and hope I have not attracted someone AGAIN that is actually emotionally unavailable.
Time will tell

So here is the ramble I wrote that is NOT for FB. I got off it and copied it to save here instead as it was just my need to vent and ramble then REST a little more before I work today. I just NEED that day of rest so decided NO I AM NOT GOING TO DO WORK FOR MY JOB THIS AM. I thought about it.
Here was my discernment process and vent- (NOT FOR FB!!)

Peeps: Do I insist on the boundary of weekends off work ( and watch Netflix; patiently resist urge to do dishes a teen said they would load and leave them for them to load...) OR DO I CAVE and WORK for a couple hours before I go to work at the retirement community today? For me it almost feels like a MORAL failing to give up on values of honoring rest time to log into work. Its not THAT bad is it?? The moral dilemma. I do have a bunch of deliverables with same due dates this week... Hmmm...
But have done SO WELL at not being the workaholic. I feel like this is just temptation to backslide or relapse! But then there is the matter of legal research. HEY anyone have Lexis Nexis subscription can borrow? If I had one I would be digging into that. I happened to have THROWN OUT the REAMS of Education law precedent that was in my attic. ( Any Law school peeps here that studied with Newhouse and have any memory of that? OH No-- everyone else DROPPED his classes due to copious reading list. Which was in my ATTIC until a year ago... and now I could use. I mean the irony... just venting here as find it sitcom like comical just in this moment. I am trying to harness his energy and wisdom.... and someone's lexis nexus subscription..
OK Last vent as I really should do that- dig into Education Law research like nobody's business.... as they say.. YEAH I have less than a week to do so. ( KNOW CAN... no less time that I actually had for research for other briefs or moot court competitions and always KILLED them!! LITERALLY SLAYED in competitions.) I GOT this... I KNOW THIS! But the thing is I wanted to JUST OUTSOURCE This one. I wanted to NOT DO IT MYSELF

I am trying...

I mean the best lawyers know that EVEN THE BEST LAWYERS DO NOT GO PRO BONO

So to share the absolute irony of this. About a year ago now I trained to volunteer with the NATIONAL DISABILITY LAW CENTER. YES as I was in transition looking for my next gig I first tried to find ANY PAID work with a sustainable living wage here in Northern VA in -- get this- my passions:
Immigration Law to help refugees AND
Disability LAW OR
oh yeah... the other area I have a CONCENTRATION and studied in LAW School and graduated with EDUCATION LAW.

I mean is this not just sitcom worthy? I could not have IMAGINED these story trajectories....
The irony the head of the UB CLINIC for Disability Law was trying to recruit me way back then but as I just came off working for ten years at Autistic Services found it not as interesting. Wanted something NEW and more motivating. YET I would still of course write letters; and harnessed energy to help neighbors ( helped a neighbor on Richmond AVE- lovely mom I kept in touch with FOR YEARS) as I accompanied her well armed with research and acted as an educational advocate for her ( AS A LAW STUDENT) AT HER HEARING on a school matter for HER disabled kid. Knocked it out of the park. Some Buffalo News articles covered it well to let the precedent decision be known to the community.
I contributed.
I very ironically have contributed in OTHER more unexpected less INTENTIONAL ways helping others with protection of their rights of their disabled or neurodivergent kids. I mean I directly impacted precedents in Education Law in two different states. I KNOW THIS. I am weirdly honored to have done so when that was just the byproduct and not the actual intent. So here I was a year ago and TRIED to find WORK doing this. You know what happened- I was trained; armed and ready to assist any Education Lawyer in Northern VA that the National Disability Law Center knew could use some help.

AND
They did not know of any. They did not match me with any. They have work in the Richmond area; and other areas. I didn't aggressively follow up I admit and I also know SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO KEEP AT IT to find what you are looking for. I pivoted my energy into the other opportunities I could more readily find and SEE right here in the community I live in. I am fulfilled and happy to contribute in the role as Deacon.
I found a job I am so enjoying which provides for my household. It is all ENOUGH. So it is so odd to now be in this time and space when there are IMMIGRANTS here needing our community support to NOT be doing the legal work I was trained to do to help them! (But there is nothing in the IMMEDIATE area and would have to drive an hour or more to go volunteer in that capacity and just now I just don't want to do that when there is OTHER volunteer work I can do HERE in my local community that I am already committed to. I can't put too much on my plate and my FAMILY need my presence and attention! FAMILY has to come first.)

Next to Immigration Law Education Law is the area I have the most practical experience in ( That is other than my transactional commercial work in contracts).

I MEAN I DID THIS WORK what now... twenty years ago?? As an educational advocate and an immigration advocate.

But its been twenty years.
So it strikes me as so bizarre I am out of that game when we have one of the largest influx of refugees in our time;

AND
When now I NEED an Educational lawyer for my OWN KID for my OWN KID'S School hearing.

It just seems so absolutely ludicrous to me.

There it is.
DONE VENTING.

And yes I DID DECIDE TO REST THIS AM. I NEED ONE DAY OF REST

AS I am going to be working my ass off all this week.

There is a deadline for any modifications to contracts to add new regulatory language for COVID vaccination requirements. That impacts EVERY CONTRACT I MANAGE. They ALL have modifications I need to draft.

I really could not do this ahead of time as had to wait for the publication of the FAR and DFAR clause and had to wait for the Contract Officers to send modifications on the Prime contracts prior to me then flowing the language down to the subcontracts. The KOs have a deadline of OCT 15th to do this! AND I too have the same deadline for flow downs.

So with that backdrop of THIS WEEK IN WORK FOR ME

October 14th is the SCHOOL HEARING where the decision of the local high school principal to NOT ENROLL My 19 year old in the local high school will be reviewed.

Could not have fallen on a WORSE WEEK. I mean really... EVERY DAMN LAWYER no matter WHAT space they are in IS LIKELY IMPACTED by the fact of federal regulations on new COVID VACCINATION POLICY,

I don't care WHAT SPACE you work in- that makes for a busy time with that deadline. It ends up impacting private sector.

The ask for alternative dates for the hearing was met with an AGRESSIVE response of offering a date just TWO BUSINESS DAYS LATER.

REALLY? It was insulting. We asked as the attorney we were talking to instructed us to ask for alternative possible hearing dates. The school came back with that.
Just professionally disrespectful in my view.

The educational law attorney has worked in VARIOUS jurisdictions over 25 years. This is an EXPERT with extensive experience. She has NEVER seen more disrespect than from Loudon County when she tried to assist someone before. She said it it the only county who REFUSED to let her into a meeting.

This is the kind of shit that happens and those in power at times get away with. THAT Is a TOTAL Violation of the rights of kid with special needs who has a right to have an aide or an advocate present at all conversations with school administration or educational teams.

UNBELIEVEABLE this is the county we are in.
And freaking Loudoun County VA where the school board tried to do the right thing and then a bunch of folks from all over creation show up to make fools of selves at the school board meeting. This had me cracking up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2dj59Db1C4


I just don't want another crazy blow up sensational media story over nonsense. Lets focus on actually educating kids and not BS.

But if the school keeps UP The BS
once again I will respond.

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