2021-11-05 - 9:09 a.m.

I am annoyed at myself.
I KNOW myself very very well.

I intentionally set up a SEPARATE phone for work
Such that I could find it easier to manage ALWAYS having the work phone available and acessible during business hours that I am working.

The reason is that with my ADHD I DID NOT want to use the same phone for work and personal life and have to carry it EVERYWHERE as that increases the risk of LOSS

So for work the phone is used for mulitifactor authentication purposes for a number of supplier systems, and end client systems, and a number of secure systems which require such.

I NEVER Take my work phone OUT OF THE HOUSE for that particular managment of it reason ( managing my own ADHD.)

The thing is I have gotten in the HABIT of carrying my personal phone - but I still misplace that IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME

and have to clean house and then it turns up.

HOWEVER I MADE A MISTAKE of heading out for a Dr. Appt with a kid and because my personal phone was in the basement on my desk and we were at the front door AND beacuse when I took my DOG on the walk QUICK BREAK in the middle of work day when I EXPECTED A possible call from a contract manager I was in the middle of a negotiation with-

I CARRIED the work phone from my WORK DESK with me on the dog walk-

THEN I PLACED THE PHONE ON THE SHELF BY THE FRONT DOOR.

I KNOW I DID THIS

So then when went to the DR. Office I GRABBED THAT PHONE thinking "just in case my boss or anyone else calls me" EVEN THOUGH I already worked my hrs that day; I already tied up loose ends
EVEN THOUGH I KNEW SHE WAS OUT OF OFFICE and gone for day...

I mean it was a day she took off early
(I think that was also why- what if in her absense; knowing someone ELSE on vacation someone has a question and then needs me as the back up?)

SO I carried the damn phone to Dr. Office.

I SWEAR I recall
and tucking the one in the car counsul on that trip

BUT THEN I AM DAMN SURE I RECALL coming back in the house and PLACING IT ON THE SHELF
BY THE FRONT DOOR.

And it is not there.

This is driving me crazy

In particular as it happened when my bestie showed up and entered without knocking and left a note

Which MY KID freaked out at me about when I got home.

asking "What the hell is she entering without knocking or ringing the bell and us answering. I heard her walking downstairs and was like ' What the hell ? WHO IS HERE? as knew you and XX( sibling) were out" IT was !(#&!! "XXX" (Bestie) and she left you a note."

NOW I expect the walking around was to find paper and pen and leave me a note.

THIS IS MY BESTIE WHO LIVED WITH ME FOR YEARS
AND IS LIKE A SISTER

SO I said " Hey its "BESTIE" I have no issue - but I GET IT YOU DO so will talk to her"

Which I will... but her phone was out of service at the time....

NOW it is just aggrevating once again to have something disappear when the only other person who happened to have showed up in our space is her.

I HATE THAT

The thing is there is nothing one could do with a phone that is locked.

And I never used this phone for INTERNET EVER

NEVER did anything with it other than accept call and the authentication msgs .

There is NO VULNERABILITY of anyone else finding this phone.

I Never even fully set it up so it has no accoutramnets or apps.

I mean unless someone wipes it and starts over with it-
but it is registered to me.

It has a google fi #

SO there is a locator service.

I JUST EXPECT IT TO BE IN MY HOME SOMEWHERE! To have fallen and to be discovered

So trying to clean house.

I have to log into work this AM - after quick walk with my dog

BUT VENTING As my system of this dedicated phone WORKED FOR ME WHEN I WAS DILIGENT WITH MY PROCESS

THAT WORKED FOR ME

and I !@($&$! DEVIATED FROM IT

and I HATE THAT as it is likely due to my own ADHD I lost it

MAYBE I left it in my car? Maybe I forgot to lock my car?

MAYBE It was lifted from there?

BUT I HATE THE WORRY it was "borrowed" ( From my friend) I mean I HATE She shared with me that when younger she was a bit of a clepto
BUT other than circumstantial moments of things disappearing in her presence

( and I KNOW this is not just ME but there was a CASE for return of a borrowed item someone brought in a courthouse here- someone that lived with her a bit

SO I KNOW it is a PATTERN)

I MEAN if that is an issue she has I honestly don't worry and accept her and love having her in my world

EVEN IF THAT IS AN ACTUAL ISSUE

I am not excessively worried

and not paranoid by any means ( I mean enough of a pattern for the fear to be reasonable. AND ENough evidence of her boundary issues--

the giving of dishes away that belonged to a friend who DID benefit from her help in downsizing--
she helps folks de-clutter and then re-purposes things where they are useful. )

She also has a habit of dropping off thing she things we would like. ( Its a bit annoying as she MEANS Well but often I wash the whole bag of clothing only to donate all but one or two things)

I mean it is more work than worth it

BUT I KNOW her Robin Hood habits are well intended.
(So I believe)

She is definitely an odd bird; unique and colorful
and also a hell of alot of fun and I believe has a genuine good BIG HEART

So it is not even really a BELIEF That she is at all involved in what I am sure is a misplacing of my phone on my part ( and likely to show up)

BUT IT IS THE KERNAL OF THE THOUGHT HAPPENING AT ALL
BASED ON ME KNOWING HER PAST BEHAVIOR
that makes me disappointed to EVEN HAVE That thought....
because it is even a remote possibility.

Goes back to shit disappeared I did not take from my Ex husband from our home ( like his family cast iorn cooking pans; and the brass fire set that disappeared after I moved out shit with my besties help YEARS AGO. HE is convinced she stole those items- as I never took them)

NOw this also happened when I was moving at that time any my then BOYFRIEND I had started dating ( after the separation year during which I was in the home and my then husband was BANNED from the home due to his behavior at time...) when he was "helping" me move and he packed up the fucking Speaker cabinets

THAT MY THEN FATHER IN LAW had made!

WTF??

I was like "What the hell?" I think he did it without me even knowing at the time as I was busy in the other fucking side of house MOPPING AND CLEANING To try to leave the place in a nice condition.

(HELL I recalled when my first marraige ended and I was out of the apt for my then husband to get his shit and I came back when he was done as planned but he moved all the shit and did not clean and it was MESS With the dirt and dust and debris and that felt like an assault. IT was SO PAINFUL and I never forget my BUFFALO BESTIE showing up with flowers and cleaning supplies to quickly CLEAN with me. She was so amazing of a support. I will never forget that moment- both how painful and how supporting a best friend can be in such a moment.)

OK OFF TO the dog walk and work.
JUST IRRITATED the phone has not turned up.

WILL GIVE IT THIS WEEKEND TO CLEAN THE HOUSE ( dang of course it is a weekend we have !@!$ +*! of stuff going on... HS FOOTBALL GAME; SENIOR NIGHT ; I WORK... I Have volutneer work to get done - minutes to type for the Art ORG; Folks to call to see if they are still planning on being in our church and want names in directory.... etc..... an ARTICLE I WANTED TO WRITE and a web site I WANTED TO GET UP AND RUNNING for MY CONSULTING BUSINESS...

I have a sound perspective to share that will give others guidance in the space I work in.

I haven't' found time to write the article-

SO instead pitched the idea-- rather shared the perspective at the professional org I am involved in and we are working on getting a few experts together to run a panel.

SEE if you can't get it done yourself COLLABORATE and get it out there in the universe somehow

I said on the call "I wish someone would be decisive and not afraid to provide direction. I am NOT A LAWYER but perhaps a Compliance Lawyer would do so."

TOUCHE

I think I influenced the space well enough....
one person on that call is in Compliance group in our work space in my industry with a large firm

I expect an article any day now out of that practice (or from someone he knows that he discusses with).

It will be awesome for them and bring them business potentially as a leader providing guidance when everyone is AFRAID TO.

I gave him the seed.

Just my last vent here...

I do not want small bus to be thrown under the bus as they don't have a clue how to handle some of the current situations regarding Covid and Compliance.

My plug here to be @$*!&!&# decisive and not wait for guidance but follow up on any accommodation requests.
I see smalls WAITING and that is mistake.

All you need is ONE person to file a lawsuit and stick with it and you are looking at 50K plus in legal fees.
Why take such a hit when it is AVOIDABLE?
by following the processes that ALREADY ARE IN PLACE

Just follow the darn ADA.

It is so damn clear and not hard peeps.

WAIT AND SEE is a BAD IDEA.

Cause, trust me on this, there ARE folks our there WILLING To invest to have their right to work as a disabled person respected-
who will GLADLY drop their OWN 50K into a lawsuit.

So companies-
Don't be so foolish as to not be responsive.

That makes me nervous frankly for the small businesses.

AS IT IS SUCH AN AVOIDABLE DISPUTE
and in EVERYONES interest to respect the few actual legit claims under ADA by those who have LEGIT medical issues for not being vaccinated.

JUST SAY NO DECISIVELY To the rest of the unfounded claims
OR say yes and let them work remote as an accommodation ( AS LONG AS POSSIBLE)

Short term accommodations are advised under EEOC while seeking guidance of MEDICAL EVIDENCE

No time to drill down here but you can read this for guidance. I WANT To write a CONSISE CLEAR TARGETED article addressing ONLY THAT ISSUE of WHAT EMPLOYERS SHOULD DO ( as so few are willing to provide that guidance!) JUST from BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE and from perspective of one with a disability familiar enough with ADA who has had RIGHT TO SUE in past from employment discrimination against me. ( I let it drop at the time and found a better job with more pay after some time as at the time HAD NO ENERGY to continue to pursue. WHAT IS UNIQUE NOW is that I think there are HIGH WAGE WHITE COLLAR WORKERS WHO WILL NOT GIVE UP AND HAVE RESOURCES TO PERSUE ADA VIOLATIONS . CAN INDUSTRY JUST FIX THE PROBLEM WITHOUT THAT PLEASE???? )

https://www.eeoc.gov/wysk/what-you-should-know-about-covid-19-and-ada-rehabilitation-act-and-other-eeo-laws

It reduces your risk as an employer to grant even a short term while reviewing a claim as opposed to DOING NOTHING.

So here is the draft of my article I intend to professionally write on my business blog-
but again time to get it going is the issue.
IF HAVE TIME AND ENERGY AFTER ACTUAL WORK FOR MY COMPANY
will work on my web site today.

The past few weeks were dang busy and time was not there.

LAST Week shuttled kid to THREE Dr. Appts.

THIS Week shuttled to FOUR Dr. Appts.

NO Joke Managing POTS is a part time Job.

The energy to get to and from DR. is not to be underestimated for a person with POTS.

BUT NECESSARY To do that FIRST AND FOREMOST.

IN GOOD NEWS My kid is doing GREAT of late.

That is why HAVE ENERGY To follow up on some recommended testing that was never done. This week was ALLERGIST

And the Dr. I brought the whole Family to is KICKING GOOD.

HONESTLY

She not only concurred with the MCAS diagnosis but very quickly drilled down to a particular kind of Masticosis ( I think is the right word?) that she happens to have researched 20 yrs ago that is exceptionally rare and my kid shows all the symptoms of.
Blood tests; urine tests...
etc...

She is darn sharp and we hit the right DR.
That can make a world of different.

She also will talk to the Dysautonomia specialist as suggests discontinuing some medications that can have LONG TERM BRAIN DEVELOPMENT CONCERNS

and has other recommendation for one medication that may be more helpful with less potential long term side effects.

YEAH!!

ONCE AGAIN SO HAPPY I AM WORKING PART TIME AND HAVE ABILITY TO CARE FOR MY FAMILY by tending to their needs first and foremost.

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