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2021-11-16 - 6:50 a.m.

OK Yesterday was busy but felt like such a great day simply as I had no idea HOW I could possibly manage my whole to do-


THREE medical appts: To two different labs for blood work and urine samples brought in.
Got my car serviced at a Jiffy Lube next to one of the labs. (Efficient- motivated by the fact my check OIL light came on and after I dropped the emerging trying to adult person off at their appt I opened the hood of my car there in the parking lot to check my oil and the dipstick was DRY. AS IN NO OIL LEFT... no wonder the light flickered the past couple days. It started to flicker...I know not to drive if it is on. Then as heading to that lab almost there the light came on and stayed on. I PRAYED as drove there and was so happy the darn Jiffy Lube was NEXT DOOR. THANK GOD!! I had intended to check and top off my oil these past few weeks. The car is running fine but somehow I think was burning more oil than it should? Engine running hot? likely related to the issue the Kia dealer pretends is not there. I am just glad the car PASSED Emissions and I got it registered for the next three years and hope it lasts a long time- even if I have to top off with oil and pay attention to that to keep it doing so. I also just had the Jiffy lube flush and replace transmission fluid as I never had that done as recommended. Skipped in in past at the dealer.)

I did not want to put off taking the youngest for her lab and blood work as the Dr. Really needs that done before can assess and diagnose.

This kid would benefit from help sooner rather than later.

I just did not want to put that off longer. NO ONE should be living in pain unnecessarily.

IN the course of the Dr. appointment last Friday that kid talked of more symptoms SHE NEVER UTTERED A WORD ABOUT TO ME

ocular disturbances

The classic symptoms we all have experienced once in a while in my fam-

but I HAD NO IDEA this kid had.

I got her to the allergist- the next specialist I intended to bring her to was to check her hearing. ( Reminded and called to schedule with ENT Specialist!) The thing is I had no idea she really had so much more going on other than depression;
so considering the initial Dr. appointment- when I saw the blood pooling into her light purple hands-
it is heartbreaking to know I had thought I should screen her just in case.... just in case there was more going on than depression

to find she is clearly suffering dysautonomia as the rest of siblings.

The things is, like most with POTS - has likely done so for years without anyone identifying it.

So when this kid talked with the older sibling about the instructions for the urine test the older one insisted it was OK and that the lab was going to just pour her urine sample into two containers and add the acid to one to run the test.

OK then- as long as that works same as taking two twenty four hour samples using one as control and adding the acid to the other.
Makes sense to me it would...

Not exactly the same- but I am OK with good enough...
if accurate enough...
if the test would not show positive unless actually positive for MCAS...

And my kid DID read the instructions on the container and did follow them. There was a sticker with them on it- so my kid DID know to skip the first pee of day- the one with all the protein and surgar built up from your sleep. SO the sample should be fine.


Just have to get it done.
That should have been done years ago.

RELIEF to have finished the round of medical testing and appointments at the POTS specialist for that one kid; as just starting them for the other. Timing pretty good!

So the youngest has seven appointments scheduled over the next month. We are chunking it. The epic 5 hr appt is the first ... then hopefully these next will be efficient.
I think the office has improved their management actually.
We were in and out in a few hours for the older kids- it was like three hours rather than the five or six in past years when doing all the initial testing etc. They had not been there for years in person since COVID started so needed that whole work up to see where at now.

The Dr. report was so good! The Dr. was so pleased with how they are doing!! Just adjustment of med to lower dose of one medication; did not continue others that were needed in past but not needed. ( My kid stopped taking one or two when those symptoms abated which those now discontinued meds were helping with. The testosterone supplement started made a big difference in pain and inflammation it seems. That one supplement in fact seems to have knocked off a few other medications. Great trade off- when taking care of their choice in life to be who they are; the chronic pain diminished.)

So that was such good news; and unexpected. Pretty remarkable.
Much to be happy about!!

And on the work front I had THREE ITEMS I wanted to get done on my to do.

Got two out of three done; BUT on my calendar TWO out of three had artificial deadlines and are not due to the client until the 17th! SO I was actually EARLY with one of the two items done yesterday. And the other I intended to do I could get done today! YEAH!!!

They were on my calendar as due yesterday. I managed my work flow really well with realistic expectations of how long tasks REALLY take and chunk my work so when I know I have uninterrupted time I did into intense highly focused detail oriented work. Basically any deliverable with appreciable substance and content.
If I have something I have done hundreds of and can do quickly with that attention to detail- like an NDA or some TAs... I can knock that off in short periods. I only need a half hour to and hour and rarely more for those tasks.
So I manage my time by knocking those off as soon as they come in. Get them done for business to move forward.

FOR NEW AGREEMENTS no matter how critical I KNOW I need time to review thoroughly and carefully. Depending on complexity of a statement of work; the technical content needing to be understood and clearly captured-
and if we have a negotiation with a partner that needs details work out to come to agreement- and the role of each of us-
they are so distinct and unique each one. So the relationship and the specifics make that vary.

I READ that the average cost of legal review of a contract is projected to be $6800 for companies.

I KNOW The cost of NOT reviewing is actually often higher. Would love if someone did the data analytics of that for companies.


That is astounding.
That lets me know MY ADDED VALUE in the work I do which is important for anyone to understand.
And it makes me really proud of the quality work I do for the company I am enjoying working for.

I feel like the people are truly good. I am proud I work for a company owned by a disabled veteran.
I feel like we do really important good work of valuable service that helps our country. .

I am proud to be supporting the efforts I support.

It is super gratifying.

And yeah- in the end; end client of my direct work is the U.S. Government. So in my small way I am proud of this small act of service of my labor contributing to the greater good of us here.
Because no matter what the flaws- this is still a democratic republic we should be proud to be part of.

A friend of mine was naturalized as a U.S. Citizen just this week. There is nothing like the joy of that moment.
It brings many to tears.. I mean it does for me just thinking of this. Having helped navigate that process in the past with others I feel so honored to have been a part of someone's journey to citizenship.

SO I am proud to be American and proud of my service.

BUT we have to keep changing the things that need changing. That is NOT UNAMERICAN.

Nothing MORE patriotic than the kneeling in prayer attesting that for one their GOD comes first before allegiance to their county; and to call out they want our country to do better. I don't see that in any way as being anti country or anti our government and don't understand how that is seen as subversive by some in any way whatsoever.

Likewise as one who worked Immigration to help those here be fully seen, heard. contribute work..
It was so moving to me to this Sunday night watch the NEW YORK THEATER WORKSHOP performance of Sanctuary City.


Live streaming now for $30.

It was so neat to watch that show and then read of my friend being naturalized. I have had the honor to assist and then attend a naturalization ceremony and it remains as one of the most meaningful and moving moments. The play captures how important it is to one to belong and to be able to fully live who they are as a member of society. It was so well done! I have worked in that space of helping others who have been here for years that have been contributing and want to be citizens. The love of this country is so very real and I think sometimes just like a convert to a religion is so aflame with their new found faith, and so in love with GOD in a way some of us don't have- because HE and our faith is the familiar, the routine, the comfortable part of our normal lives we take it for granted-- like a spouse or family also become not appreciated but routine and become boring- LOVE And LIFE is not made valuable because of the excitement level, the dopamine hit... if chase that high one creates all sorts of problems and doesn't hit the deeper things that are infused with even greater meaning-- which come from sustained commitment, hard work and dedication with loyalty- But it is the IN LOVE phase with one's new country- after the courting of it- which is such a beautiful moment. New Immigrants are newly in love and it is like the wedding celebration when they set forth their life commitment to love this country like no other. It is truly such a beautiful joyous celebration. AND HEY the divorce rate for citizenship is low.... VERY LOW in fact... People somehow can love country more easily and commit more easily with such collective commitment and support than they can in marriages. see cause many things have a greater chance of success when there is collaboration and for some they are both easier and more successful when done together in community- with such loving support of others. I think marriages fall apart when they are insular and isolated. The artist may create alone; but all struggle with how not to destroy themselves in that process. ( I am convinced of this being one of the biggest challenges of artists.) That is what I think is the real secret to a successful marriage- look outward not to yourself only. Be participating in your community TOGETHER and you will be enrich with common shared purpose. ( That is after the kids are grown! The kids are often enough of a shared purpose at first.. but there has to be more for longevity... so support of each others work for the good of others or working together is it I think! I digress again... but this is on my mind as fell for someone and time will tell if there is any potential whatsoever for that kind of relationship for me- for us or if this is just a fling. I accept it as a gift regardless of which. The heart knows what it wants and it often MAKES NO SENSE... and at times needs to have reason override it LOL)

So as I read the oath I wondered when the language of committing to bear arms for the country was added to it. It turns out it was in the 1950s. I feel like we should allow Pacifists to become citizens too!! IT is not any lack of patriotism if some are not willing to bear arms and shoot to kill.
I mean how can that be a measure of one's patriotism?

I personally am in support of a strong defense. I think we need it in the cyberworld more than anywhere else just now frankly- but I don't think it at all incongruent to also respect the views of pacifism. I consider myself a pacifist in the sense that if there is ANY OTHER WAY it should be THE WAY.

Yet in the end- don't martyr oneself unnecessarily. So yeah I am OK with someone having a gun to protect me; but I don't want to be the one pulling the trigger and that doesn't make me unAmerican. Nor is absolute pacifism unAmerican.

I would love to see a movement to amend our Naturalization OATH back to its language before the adding of willingness to bear arms. Just remove the one phrase "that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law"

YEAH I think we should change that one thing.
WHY TO MAKE THIS A BETTER COUNTRY. Don't you all think if we have kind people not interested in fighting it may make our world a better place? Just makes sense to me.

"I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

And my morning pages are going to end with this: MAY IT MANIFEST!!! I love the positivity of horoscopes LOL I also read the Bible when praying for guidance and direction and motivation... but likely read my horoscope more often for fun and positive affirmations to start day with good intentions.. HA HA HA

"Nov 16, 2021 - Money matters will be front and center today, Virgo, and even if you normally shirk from such things it looks like you can breathe a sigh of relief because the planets are coming together to give a big gift rather than a big pain in the butt.

The intuitive Moon is moving through your 8th House of lump sums and financial security; this is normally a rather intense transit, but throughout the day la Luna will form a very positive alignment across the heavens that will lift the mood and potentially bring some big rewards your way. La Luna will reach out across the sky to bountiful Jupiter in Aquarius and your 6th House of work, ensuring you’ll be well received on the job today, which should increase your earning potential regardless.

With so much positivity no one can say ‘no’ to you right now, so get out there and make bank."

OK!! WILL DO!!!!

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