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2021-12-12 - 5:06 p.m.

I am just going to write about this personal topic as I am just astounded at the LACK of conversations and knowledge and ACTUAL MEDICAL HEALTHCARE for women.
I WAS going to just post this

with the comment

We actually need to talk about ALL WOMEN'S HEALTHCARE

there is a HUGE void.

But to leave it at that will not help the huge void of knowledge and the problem that our society's problem (At least where I live in Virginia!) that we not only ignore women's overall healthcare but when it comes to SEXUAL HEALTH even medical professionals are abysmal in their irresponsibility of not educating and as healthcare providers NOT ensuring attention to this part of women's lives.

So here it is: I was given a "gift" of an STD from that boyfriend who acted so sincere and committed and who was looking at rings with me and discussing possibility of marriage--
but then it was clear when he traveled and picked up the "gift" from his travels...

(I don't buy that BS of him being a holder of such item *Unknowing- an asymptomatic carrier of the Herpes Simplex Virus.... although possible...
although I believed that THEN...
the signs of infidelity in the relationship continued until he was busted which made me realize he was also fucking around on that CA trip. He was the one with the Montana profile for his * hunting * trips... and whom I found the wrapper from a condom under our shared bed.. but I digress)

the Main point is-
I have lived with that reality responsibly now for about 13 yrs (I think? maybe 14)

Yet it took me FOUR doctor appointments over the past few years to get a prescription filled for the anti-viral that prevents that particular herpes virus from shedding to inhibit possible transmission to others.

WHY When I ASKED for that prescription was it just plum forgotten or not filled until the FOURTH VISIT to my Primacy Care Provider's office (when I finally saw my Dr. and not the Nurse Practitioner?)

Appointments and me having the conversation of the specific request for that medicine OVER AND OVER AGAIN and yet it was not filled on three occasions?

What the hell!! Good thing I am not one who goes out and regularly has multiple partners without condoms. I mean really- If I were exceptionally sexually active with multiple partners without protection, I could have been spreading an STD and harming others' health. I mean what the hell-

Now if it was a challenge for ME to get this medication when I was ASKING FOR IT then how hard is it to educate and get this medication into the hands of those who ARE at high medical risk of community transmission?


I mean I had a standing order FOR YEARS for this anti-viral yet could not get it filled as everyone was not listening or forgot (or chose not to). At first, I took Valtrex daily and then continued to do so when in any long-term relationship.

If not in a relationship where I am regularly sexually active, then I would just take it as needed if there were an outbreak or if I were going to have a chosen sexual *experience* (like my NY Trips- where frankly sex is not the main point as the friendship is really the main point- but sex is a part of our shared relationship- the non-boyfriend/non-committal long distance guy.) I get mild symptoms on occasion but frankly I don't typically bother even then as the only thing the Valtrex does if one does carry the virus already and it becomes active is reduce the days of the symptoms by a few days. Since not really that big of a deal- honestly this is typical where the beak outs are horrendous the first year but then mild thereafter- to me I think the main point of the Valtrex is to protect any partner.

I didn't take it when not sexually active. As I was running out and had no more refills, I stopped the daily preventative. I had a bottle that lasted a LOONG time as just would take a few days before a NY Trip to see my Buffalo guy. But then I wanted to fill the prescription and take it daily again because I noticed this correlation when I took it again (and was not taking any other medication) that I actually had mitigated symptoms of brain fog. I was just mentally able to process things more quickly without any confusion and delay. I mean the difference was CLEAR.

I then realized that when I STOPPED taking it regularly as I had run out- that I then also had the uptick of not feeling mentally well.
I realized THAT was when I suddenly was having some paranoia and after five years of NOT being on psychiatric medication, I had called my psychiatrist and asked for Lithium again. (Truly a very effective drug for hypomania and paranoia symptoms. Very effective)

At some point the refill on that Lithium ran out (during COVID) but I had made the correlation with the ending of taking Valtrex and uptick of symptoms so then decided to again go without the Lithium and see how I do just on the Valtrex. I saw my psychiatrist who agreed I am indeed mentally well enough that is a sound decision.

But that was MONTHS AGO
and the kicker is my mental acuity was ALSO Better when on the Valtrex. This is the part also really irritating to me. This is especially frustrating as I recognize some anxiety symptoms; and also very mild small moments of thinking things that may be paranoid and I am rather sure the Valtrex mitigated those symptoms.
So currently- maybe paranoid in a moment this AM?
OK- I am missing jewelry... it might be misplaced; but maybe not paranoid to think maybe stolen? BUT then again those fears be grounded... so damn hard to tell. More likely not and things will show up.. heck I am ADHD so wear items and don't put them back in the place they were taken out of. The missing earrings could potentially all show up in other spaces. Reason to get motivated to clean and organize my room and in particular my jewelry. But I did have trouble finding a particular cross that was my mothers, which has green rough-cut jade embedded on one side and the other gold- and I could not find it this morning. Earrings also missing- my Calladagh that were my mother's. She gave me a pair just like it and I lost one somewhere and after her death her pair came to me. I only see the ONE from my original set- and the pair I THOUGHT was in a jewelry box inside the large box with all the jewelry was empty. There were many EMPTY boxes there- and as I rifled through, I swore this AM someone stole her jewelry from me. When I got home, I found some items in there NOT taken- not moved...and realized MAYBE I was wrong in my first reaction. ADHD does stink as moments like that do happen! That in conjunction with perhaps feeling anxious-- but it is not like I have moments of imagining things that didn't happen- just the explanation for my actual experiences might be off... still a kind of paranoia of thoughts if not grounded in reality of something LIKLEY in light of the likelihood of ME just not putting things back because when I left my house this morning to go to church without the cross and earrings I could not find I was in the moment CONVINCED they were stolen.

DANG I just realized pharmacy closes in two minutes. I was so tired I napped this afternoon and really just did not have it in me to go out. I was going to go now... will go tomorrow to pick up my medication FINALLY.

I really just needed to rest today after church. I had a great run yesterday but pushed myself. It was a gorgeous day here with warm weather, so I took advantage of it and made it out a few miles. Feeling it today! I also was up really late the night before as realized the deadline for choosing a healthcare plan via the marketplace is looming and I just wanted to get it done when thought of it. Of course, I thought of it at 11pm. I opted to just stay up and GET IT DONE. It was close to 4am when I fell asleep early Saturday morning.

Pleased did get it done with approval for a family plan.
Dad said he is dropping one of ours from his policy in a transphobic move. I call it what it is: If you drop healthcare of your disabled child solely cause the young adult chose to actually take care of their health- which YES happens to include dysphoria they are medically treating-

well based on all the science and medical knowledge out there-

Your decision to drop your kid is really not medically sound and based on anything other than your not supporting your kid because they are TRANS.

YEAH that is transphobia.

You are going to keep all the other kids on your policy; but not the one who is trans and taking testosterone?
Solely for that reason alone?
DROPPING healthcare which is necessary to manage POTS and MCAS and EDS and ASTHMA and DEPRESSION?

It is obviously a transphobic response.

To support your "moral view"? Your moral view being upheld is more of a priority to you than providing care for your own child?
Just because your child is trans?

I don't understand how anyone can think like that and find it justified in any way. Its pretty fucked up in my view.

(Moreso as keep in mind this is the Dad who raised his female at birth children LIKE THEY WERE BOYS... the Dad who was so misogynistic that they were not allowed to wear makeup or nail polish and who he had on the baseball teams with the boys...IRONIC? YES I had counselors specifically tell me is is misogynistic in his treatment of me and our family. I had to ask what they meant and then further looked up the word to understand when first heard it!)

I read something about how even parents of addicts will love their kids and try to help them to the greatest extent they can. I know a mom who sold everything she could that she owned and had fundraisers and did everything in her power to raise the $17,000 to get her kid into a rehab program. That to me is the sane, logical parental response to a kid in need due to an illness of addiction.

Now if a parent can love their kid unconditionally even when their kid has made bad choices-

WHY can't some parents of their offspring who happen to be gay or bi or trans continue to love their kids?

OR the better question is-

HOW is it possible for a parent to be so lacking love for their own children and perform what are hateful actions?

I just don't get it.

I get it not wanting to ENABLE The addict in bad choices. I get it cutting the child off if they are NOT ABLE To help any other way

I get tough love for touch challenges...
but this is so very different.

It is actual HEALTHCARE
and if you cut it off the person is not suddenly going to not be gay. I mean the person is not going to suddenly decide to NOT live authentically who they are-

I mean if someone made the move to transition it is not a decision they made overnight but typically was made over YEARS or known for years before any action. Your lack of support is not going to make the person change their mind or impact the reality of who they are. It is only going to harm your relationship. The decision to transition physically in any way also cannot be made without counseling and consultation with doctors as GET THIS- IT IS A MEDICAL TREATMENT OR PROCEDURE.

It was attempted to be rationalized by some story of the kid having promised not to have their Dad pay for any such transitioning care. Well he is not paying for it. co pays are not paid for by him. His cost of having an additional kid on his health plan (which he already has as a family plan and has other kids on it) is not increased by one of his kids who happened to go to the Dr. and now has a prescription for testosterone.

Whatever... figure best get a family plan for that kid that has a Dad who said dropped from insurance.
Not sure if it was an outburst in anger or if he really followed through-
but figured best get an insurance policy for my kid as asked the kid if they did so and they have not yet. They are not working and still a student living with me so I best get them health insurance.
The application also asked " anyone disabled?"
and then if so refers to be evaluated for Medicare or Medicaid - I always forget which is covers disabled the other old folks, right?)

Maybe my disabled chronically ill kid will get healthcare coverage via Medicaid ... but whatever..
I am blessed to be able to afford to buy a policy so of course will do so.

When all the kids were on their father's plan for a couple years there I just opted out and applied and received a waiver with no tax hit as honestly it was too expensive. I am grateful for the recent tax relief to make healthcare affordable for me again.

So back to my story of the needing FOUR visits to get this prescription filled:

I forget when but at some point I went to my Ob Gyn for my annual and happened to mention I stopped taking the Valtrex and needed a new prescription and that when I stopped I noticed I was seeing an uptick of symptoms of mental fogginess and feelings of anxiety and even then a bit of paranoid thoughts so think that is an ancilllary benefit.
He had this attitude then asking if I had any current herpes symptoms and then said "you don't need to take it everyday then"
and was like
"I don't prescribe for off label usage"

and I just thought he was making the comment but THEN HE DID NOT CALL IN THE PRESCRIPTION

And I was like WTF???

I was annoyed
but figured when I went to my regular Dr. for checkup I would ask then for the refill. So I did eventually go back to my regular physician... on two MORE occasions.
I had a regular physical and the nurse practitioner said she would fill it.
But did not call it in.
and I had gone back for poison ivy and then asked AGAIN and again the nurse practitioner said she would fill it
But again- did not. Nothing for me at the pharmacy other than whatever I was taking for the poison ivy.
I also did not get my asthma inhaler refilled which on one occasion they also said would be filled. I called the office and asked them to fill the prescriptions. The inhaler was ready for me at the pharmacy; but no Valtrex.


So here is a reminder: Talk to your Dr. about your sexual health and get screened for STDs every so often. There are some that are asymptomatic but have severe health issues if not detected and are apparently not necessarily part of routine physicals. Fun FACT: STDs ARE on the rise in the U.S. Trend continuing. YEAH Highest EVER:,all-time%20high%20in%20the%20United%20States%20in%202018.

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