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2022-02-05 - 3:30 p.m.

WAIT NOT done yet on topic of sex


Really important that social conditioning is important and that the messages in porn are so non aligned with REAL LIFE and natural interaction -
YET changes expectations and what men think is real.

I heard from the guy I dated that he was not interested in this AMAZING woman as
"She was too quiet during sex"

I was astounded. He just was looking for the porn lover. the lover that resembles the actress in the porn video.
This is the guy in DC I dated who was so focused on sex but MASKED by dating taking out his dates to nice places to do shared things

I mean we dated for MONTHS without any sexual interaction. He just always seemed to try so hard.. it seemed so clear he was really just looking for sex.

He had a real lack of being able to emotionally connect it seemed to me even after he would talk openly and vulnerably

It was the weird emotional slut type behavior
Where it was curated to try to develop a sense of intimacy as a MEANS of finding a lover. The use of learned behavior and language of consent and then his interest in things like TANTRA as he really just wanted SEX.
I felt like it was so superficial
but maybe I was just judging.. but it was like because I did not want to come and spend ALL Weekend with him he felt like I wasn't really into him. ( NO I needed to set boundaries to clean my house and cook and be present for my kids when not working.)
He acted like because I had other friends in my world (male) he was insecure.

Anyway.. he just popped into my mind as he was looking for the porn lover... the not real person. It was not me that was for sure. He moved on- we moved on. He is a good person and I do like him as a friend but June was thinking she was a true close friend and felt hurt he cut off the friendship as-
yup she did not want a sexual relationship with him
Maybe I judge him too harshly
Maybe he is like me and busy and not good at feeding friendships and has to curate his time.
But it does seem weird that he spent so much time with June then cut her off
THEN he did same with me- like saw him every few weekends for a year or so
(Covid lovers at that point he was in my small pod the one of few folks saw. We both did not go out elsewhere).

OH this video is GREAT about tip for talking to TEENS: TALK WHEN DRIVING IN THE CAR!!
YES that is time I talk about anything needed with my kid...
video linked above gives that tip.

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