2022-02-12 - 10:03 a.m.

Got FAFSA info in for my two seniors graduating HS.
Both needed some help prodding to get that moving along. Its late...
should have been done by now.
But at least they are all done but for each of them logging in, signing and submitting.

They also each have to apply to colleges if they are to go...

To my knowledge NEITHER got their common apps completed.

Life with ADHD/ Chronic Illness/ Depresssion?
The world has been upside down for teens (as us all) the past few years but with growing developing and not yet mature brains it is HARDER on kids, teens and even older adolescents I believe than adults.

I realized it is not wrong to give them a bit more hand holding just now.

That is SO counter intuitive in my family. We all are so fiercely independent .

But I thought of the story my Buffalo gentleman friend told me. He really is a pretty content happy person doing work he enjoys and gets in flow of doing good quality work in service of others each day.
SIMPLE QUIET LIFE
but happy.
My guy friend who never married, never had kids, and is content just drinking solo or out with the frat boys grown men once in a while, getting laid when he can, cooking good food at home or going out when can, catching a few good music shows and a football game or two-- traveling with the boys to do so once in a while.

I mean he has a happy SIMPLE LIFE.

And he is so obviously challenged with ADHD and alcoholism but he tempers his worst vices pretty well. He is the one doing the interventions for his friends with less of a handle on that. He goes to the Dr. he take ok care of self despite living as an alcoholic that is drinking far too much far too often.

In otherwords in his imperfection
he is doing alright.

BUT He may not have carved out the life he did IF his DAD did not help him along.

He told me how he was all set wanting to go to University of Arizon with his HS buddies. He played football in HS but was not good enough to do so in college. His fam are big Notre Dame fans/ family... he was not smart enough to get in there. He is smart but again... ADHD ... always had his Dad sit him down and report on assigments and what he got done and checked his work.
ALWAYS
He recalled-- Hey I never realized I was the ONLY kid in the family my Dad did that with.

He APPRECHIATED IT SO MUCH as he was telling me his story. AND

HE APPRECHIATED that just a month before he THOUGHT he was going off with his HS friends/drinking buddies to the well known at that time PARTY school of University of Arizona...
where in hindsight he is rather sure he could have been swallowed whole...

His Dad said "We are going on a trip" and hauled the family to visit Bufflalo and then once there announced
YOU ARE GOING TO CANISIUS

END OF DISCUSSION
YOU START IN TWO WEEKS

HELL NO the more thought about it this is the only college choice; you are going here so make the best of it.

My friend did not even touch the application or be part of the process AT ALL.

And you know... it was as he said one of the BEST MOVES his Dad could have made for his immature self at that time;
for his ADHD self.

Now he did not have an overtly controlling parent growing up. He was a typical normal kid-
at that time we all were like The Little Rascals I think running around neighborhoods if extroverted or hanging at home if not.

He says that his Dad doing that for him gave him the opportunity to be in an environment that worked for him. It gave him what he needed even when he did not know it.

So I thought of that. And decided
HELL I am going to not wait on my kids to get their shit done but push them a bit more as these two are DIFFERENT from my OLDER four.

THese two are living their high school years with so many different challenges. And they also both have ADHD which creates executive functioning challenges AND POTS which creates ENERGY challenges to get things done
YET they BOTH can get school work done to the point of succeeding.

One has 98 and 96 so far in the classes!! YES!! This is a gifted kid who would have been eligible for scholarships if health issues did not interfere... Ce la vie.

BUT I THINK that BOTH my kids WOULD be eligible for SOME scholarships IF THEY TRIED AND APPLIED FOR SOME.

I mean there are so many smaller niche ones out there.

It is laughable at graduation where there was that ONE kid that won them all cause he was a BS ARTIST that applied to all the local ones!
IT was so freakin funny...

He won the scholarship for rising students commited to studying enviromental studies...
and rising students commmited to being SOME TRADE... I forget...
and rising student who want to be a Teacher....

etc... and etc...

maybe is all true!! LOL Maybe he was sincere in each application as he is open to ALL Possibilities!!

I am like that when I enthusiastically consider work and possibilities.

But maybe he is just a good writer and BS artist! ( Seemed like that. I can't recall why some of the awards seemed so opposite in interests or impossible to be actual real interests held realistically for the same time of college years but there were a couple that got the crowd murmering...it was so funny!)

It will all work out.
Good news is we actually seem to enjoy each others company more than not. TRUE

My kid wanted to watch How to Train Your Dragon and the sequels with me.
We picked them up when at WalMart.
Watched one last weekend; then last night the 2nd.

Quality Time.
YES good movies. My kid is also not quite ready to leave the nest it seems. Have to let kids fly when ready...
and know when to sometimes give a push as when a parent you are confident and know they are to fly EVEN when they are still afraid.

I just hope both sign the damn FAFSAs EVEN IF they dontt know if going to college yet. They still both have to log in and do that and I just pray they get it done so they have POSSBILITIES.

Thing to remember is how you feel today is not how you will feel tomorrow or in a few months.

So for all teens not sure if college is for them: The damn FAFSA and applications are the stressful parts! JUST GET IT DONE and relax and then see what happens
if nothing..
well nothing changes

BUT there may be possibilities that you don't yet consider, Let there be conditions so they are options in your future that will make you happy.

It is just creating conditions for POSSIBILITIES to later consider even if not interested now!

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