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2022-04-07 - 7:52 a.m.

I did not file my tax return yet and need to.

For some reason (ADHD?) When I went to do my taxes MONTHS ago and pulled out the stack of tax document related mail I was just sticking in a pile....the outer envelope from my job that sent my W2 was there but the W2 was not.

I thought I has been organized!

Sheesh...then I had an odd memory of.. and sure accurate... that important mail being tucked as the bookmark in the book I was reading. Mainly as when it arrived I was reading a book but picked up the mail and the rest of the mail was junk. It being important it seems safer tucked in my book being carried than carried loose.

Now that was when unopened. To my memory....

See I pick up my mail then walk the fog and on our walk reas and sort mail. Junk mail is useful as a poop scooper.

I mean why buy more plastic bags for that ?
I feel like recycling what have on hand is better.

But do have to say I found a completely disintegrated doggie poop bag in a cost pocket I had not worn in a year or maybe more. Unused thankfully! In the time in the warm coat pocket of a dark closet the bag became almost powdery in this pike of tiny green particles haven broken down. So I guess those environmentally friendly biodegradable poop bags are a decent product if the manufacturing process is not environmentally unfriendly.

I mean that is the challenge. How to create meaningful work and income and means of living in a non agrarian society, have healthy food for all, basic needs and a decent life and not destroy our planet in the process.

The question takes my musings Does the artist have to destroy self to create

To a whole new level of the question of

As society what must be destroyed in our creation of new things and can we evolve and create and grow without some destruction? 🤔

What is worth sacrificing and letting die to allow for something new?

Who decides?

I do know if stuck in old no room for the new.

Oh. The old resurfacing in my life.


Just funny but predictable I suppose in Spring. They need to get out there and move on I think, keep growing and not look to comforts of the past. I am careful not to be complicit in other's stagnation, avoidance of growth and holding on too tightly of past like a security blanket
But at the same time welcome family and friends company to rest a bit.

Yes. Won't turn others away but also am careful with not being enmeshed, creating dependencies or getting distracted myself.

This week gotta get taxes done!

Art just lost his job. Sad for him...but trying to be a good friend. As he said : he is climbing the walls and trying to figure out what to do so expect to get calls and texts and hear from him often for a few weeks til he figures it out. Lol

Yes that is his pattern.

So next memory of the tax return MIA was reading my book before bed and opening the mail and reading the return. I have no memory of how much I made last year but it was sufficient. Was content with it.
Was high enough to meet needs.

I mean it is honestly exact needed to meet needs with small amt for quality of life things like guitar lessons, helping kids with education and going out to eat once in a while and gas money for travel and modest travel expenses.

( Been super blessed my son gifted me actual vacation that would have been out of my budget! Amazing to spend time with him in the georgous place he calls home from which he now flies to LA and Atlanta and NYC for work.)

I still wanted to contribute! I spend some extra cash sending him some money toward the vacation ( $350 ) and just due to taking off for travel days of flying my paycheck ( a few weeks after back) was smaller! Then we had a lull with just frankly less work needed from me. I am after all happy to be part time and work only when needed. Just a couple weeks not as much needing me to do. So a couple smaller paychecks and this pay period I find myself literally with the almost EXACT cash flow needed for essentials.

$3 left in my acct after paid bills and zero buffer.

I also helped out one college student with tuition this Spring semester and literally gave every penny could to help as this kid is doing well academically but was a bit short cause has not been working consistently through college. The one senior about to graduate college worked her butt off in jobs as well as school. So she needs less financial help.

But every person grows differently and matures at their own rate. This junior waa not as confident her body could handle the pain as yes he does have chronic pain and reticent to try anything physical that could be taxing. My junior did try to work but got fired freshman year.. so there was effort and I observed it was ADHD challenges...I mean not figuring out how to get the weekly schedule on the app used... not showing up... confused at how it all worked.

Well for this kid in denial he has ADHD and other issues a Dr. Could help with has been working hard at school and this year got a job so is working as a tutor earning money toward tuition. He did not get the work study money in full in the past but finally this Spring is starting to work to earn that too. I am willing to help out as can when the kid needed it. Not much something like $1400 now thstvI think of it....but that was basically all the extra cash I had on hand.

Yeah I am the laizze fair style parent.

I mean I do the FAFSA and sign forms but my kids college choices and navigating it all is their life path in my view. So I say what can budget to help each year early on....but then there is often a bit more needed!

Working only part time feel it more this moment.

But it's tight.

So back to taxes. After bills go through there will be $3 in the bank this week!!

And I obviously put the outer envelope of the tax return I. The pile on the desk with all tax docs....but somehow the return itself not there too!!

So I had to navigate the on line payroll system. Had to change something to allow to get the W2 electronically to see it in the system and be able to download etc....

That was a project done another day... again. Weeks ago some day I fully intended to finish the project.

Of course by then I had find a the documents.

But... have you ever seen an ADHD person Lose something then Look for it?

It's like...what is the best way to declutter?

You can't just pull shit out you want to get rid of.

No. Best to pull all the crap out then put back what you need I. A place you can find it. And toss the rest.

Sure it works if task done to completion.

Sorta joking as didn't really do that ..but doing a task is similar...
Pull out all you need for the risk, organize it and get it done...


Except if run out of time to finish and chose to do thr task sitting in bed with piles all around

And ran out of time.

So for weeks there have been paper piles...

All those once organized files that were in a filing cabinet and the pile of mail sorted for taxes...

All in this bedroom.

This is my priority this week.

Get my taxes filed!

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