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2022-05-01 - 9:17 a.m.

Thoughts after reading friends post.

He is a misic therapist and shared a story of moment with a new client typically considered non verbal ( I say considered as in my experience most so called non verbal actually were honestly seldom listened to when they did vocalize. It's like think of the person speaking broken Spanish who some Anglo Americans have trouble taking care to listen carefully to hear the actual English spoken cause they can process the accent and dony recognize the words slightly off.. but if you slow down and listen suddenly realize the words are there and articulate just with a accent you can get used to....

Disabled persons communication is similar to anyone who's first language differs from your own accent and infection

Often the person is actually speaking a different inflection of the sane language
But so few take time to become familiar with tge unique nuances to HEAR the disabled persons vocalizations.

Did you ever meet a crazy pet lover who swears their dog or cat speaks to them? Wither in vocalizations a verbal way or non verbally? 🤔

I mean if beloved pets do this why is it hard for some to accept and understand tge communication of their disabled family

That is the mystery to me. Our ability to disregard and not see rhe Familiar in front if us when it us not what we hoped or expected it to be. I feel like too many family of thise who are nuerrotypical do this..

My oldest is a tutor and saud it made her sad at how parents of a client spoke about him. It us her story to tell not mine but it was essentially that same story of family disregarding and not seeing their own child's wonderful gifts but only focusing on their own fears and lack kfctgeir vus6of who they want their child to be. They miss the joy in who he is.

So this made me think of Colin.

I made up that name and wrote of him in the past. My friend posted of the joy in his so called non verbal client singing back to him.

I wrote this is response but it's not for FB. Too private. Too personal...

Ha ha

So I post it here. Ha for you my 2 to 3 readers...ha ha. Strangers but not strangers as over years we share intimate moments in this virtual community

The copy and paste response to Tom's story-

"Tom, I worked with a young adult who was very verbal however mostly vocalizations others did not understand.I just sang to him in my communication " Good morning, let's brush out teeth so they don't smell like stinky feet" making up silly songs on the fly to help get through daily living skills ( this was as aide in his group home). He had been at times resistant to self care ( like many youth/teens/ young adults at times( but in his case also other's touching him and had a hard time trusting to allow help when he was just not able to take care of self care. ) Very soon he name up his own song. He would sing my name in greeting when I came in and every morning he continued it in a melodic chant like rhythm as I helped prompt him with silly singing prompts to make all the tasks fun. Most of all I think it was because I approached him with joy and saw him. He was smart, funny, mischievous and had a really witty personality evident in gestures and facial expressions that I paid attention to. Listening and receiving what communication was consistently given by him was not something everyone somehow was attuned to do and I have to say I am no better of a listener or communicator than most but somehow I was gifted this ability to be attunted to him in a literal way. Monday through Friday we sang through 🌄 getting ready for the day. Veronica Federiconi was my boss at the time and in her work has been transformative in lives of so many bringing art and music into their lives. Joy is really what we are called to experience in life and the arts in daily life make loving joyful, even if it's a sully song to get through a moment of having to do something that might be uncomfortable or for some even painful. "

Tom Switzer is the real name of a most amazing music therapist who started A Place to Be in Middleburg Va
And Veronica Ferdericoni is CEO of Autism Services in the Buffalo, NY area.

I share there real names as they are both marvelous resources - their agencies, and they are public personas to a degree anyway!

Never know if someone find their spaces a resource randomly through here. A few friends of one of mine who grew up here have had support from A Place to Be through their youth and tee. Years.

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