2022-05-22 - 12:35 p.m.
Dreams are fascinating.
Two out of the three kids here were going off to lunch with their Dad which was lovely.
I took the opportunity to throw pillows off the bed of one in the laundry. The first pillow washed is really a big stuffed animal called "Mousey Bear".
It came to my kid years ago, actually as a hand me down ( which did not matter to my kid!)
It actually belonged to the beautiful little girl whom Henry had living with him when her mother and she both moved together to live with him.
He was happy to have found love again and embraced the little girl as he did other children of his loves ( in past. He was always really wonderful about that. He had a couple of relationships over the years with women who had children. He had his own kids and he was co parenting with who was the absolute love of his life- June for YEARS until they called it quits. This was the next love after they had ended. It ended tragically as his new beloved ended up being sick but never acknowledged or sought care until it was too late. He then did provide all the care possible but she died HIV positve and left her beloved daughter, and Henry.)
Years later he brought me some of the things, when cleaning out his home, one Christmas for my kids.
It was really wonderful as my kids were given an old gaming system and its games that his then grown children had grown up on. Mario Cart, and Simspsons games to name a couple I recall. That old game cube.
She had been a somewhat famous model in her home county but was happy to immigrate here to be with him as her also very famous actor ex husband ( father of their little girl) was just IDOLIZED in the media ( in a culture that did not believe in exposing the flaws of it's heros that were idealized. Nor did she want to do so either.... she did not want to destroy her ex's career due to his philandering. He did however bring her AIDS and caused her death. HE did however abuse and treat her violently in other ways. She was left with intense trauma which Henry spoke to very few regarding how it manifested in her as she healed from that pain.)
It was beautiful how in the end she was loved and cared for and how the Ex was there to love his child and embraced her to go back and live with him and how there was such love of the mother that both men who loved her were able to be present along with her family and honor her life.
The tragedy and then the beauty of the capacity to forgive was just remarkable.
I think of this as Mousey Bear, the beloved stuffed animal that little girl found comfort in somehow was left behind after she moved back to her home county with her father, and found its home and with one of mine.
It was a source of comfort and security for one of my kids who to this day takes that everywhere- including off to the college dorm and on every road trip as it is the softest pillow.
I am ALSO sure it was the source ( or A source) of the overwealming strong locker room skanky stench emanating from that basement bedroom after this college student moved back home!!!
I had said "you have to wash ALL YOUR PILLOWS and ALL your bedding".
Getting this kid to understand CLOTHES have to be WASHED EVEN IF THEY DON"T LOOK DIRTY for some reason is a challenge with this one almost adulting child of mine.
I think this is very much a common boy thing.
So we fight over respecting boundaries but my line is this: As long as you live in my home I will respect ALL YOUR PERSONAL boundaries of not touching your personal things BUT the FLOOR and linens and towlels and trash ARE NOT PERSONAL things and if there is a stench coming from your room and I ask you to clean those items and you don't I WILL eventually cave and not be able to ignore it and leave it to you anymore. The thing is that point will only be where it impacts MY enjoyment of MY HOME.
Seriously I only go in if the door is left open HA.
SUCCESS! The floor is cleaned and the room smells WAY Better. Just with those pillows and the stuffed animal cleaned.
Good news is this kid does not leave dishes around and also picked up their own trash and empties their own trash so it is not a total pigsty!
I was happy when the teens came home from their lunch with Dad the one was not at all annoyed I had pulled the pillows to wash. I had discussed this a couple times- saying I was sure that was the source of the smell so I think that made the kid more tolerant. This kid is sometimes seriously angered if I go in their space at all! We have had such fights over it- but I am glad when they can recognize that as long as living at home they need to deal with me demanding a certain standard of my house be kept!
In other news the nights I stayed over at Arts this week my poison ivy abated. Its healing. But then the night I slept here it got aggrevated AGAIN!! So I washed my sheets and cleaned my space yet again. AND I used TECNU to wash the dog. I think Bellatrix could be a source of bringing poison ivy oils to me. It felt SO GOOD to be able to sleep through the night without getting itchy!
Art's place has been CLEAN of late! HE acknoweldged himself that ...gosh don't know how long ago it was now that he had moved into the space he is in now, but some time ago ( two years? Three? IDK... but I visited him and I swear had caught scabies from dust mites from EITHER him or the back of my friend's winery as both were dusty as heck and I had visited both of them within the same time frame three and then again two years ago and it felt like dejavu! Art also had this filthy car ( boy thing? Guy thing? Without a woman around just don't see the darn dirt?? I mean the home of the guy who owns the winery was a mess for a while too until he finally got cleaning ladies to work in his house as well as the winery space. It as bad at one point too!)
Its nice that BOTH the winery owner got his place deep cleaned and Art got his place deep cleaned and funny to think about it now as I just noticed they BOTH finally are taking care of their spaces better than a few years ago.
My winery owner friend was gracious in donating a gift basket for our Arts org fundraiser that happened last weekend. Art was gracious to donate a piece as well.
I forget what I wrote about already and what is repetative as this forum truly is my venting rambling write stream of counsiousness whatever bubbles up. Np structure or rhyme or reason here...
meaning whatever I need to process via this repetative almost meditative tapping of the keys.
I just dozed...
Its not my dream I want to write about, as mine was not prophetic
Art shared a dream he had after a vision quest.
Its not my dream or my story but I want to save just that.
It is enough for me- for my purposes.
That and I want to capture one other thing.
I will never forget when Art lost his keys at My house.I had ====.....
Fell Asleep writing yet again!
and the next day - when I could not find them ANYWHERE it was in the 90s.
I drove home from a Friday night vigil honoring the slain in Buffalo so I KNOW the kids HAVE to be in my house somewhere!
Both will eventually turn up.
BUT I lucked out. Art called and invited me to go to breakfast on Sat morn.
I said "sure but you have to pick me up). He came and I was SO LUCky he was also willing to take me to church for commitments AFTER lunch! He was then happy to ofer to pick up when done as well.
I ended up enjoying staying there Sat night and enjoying lovely time chatting with his Dad.
I was there a couple times recently- and each time the time with his Dad is really so wonderful (as well as the time with Art).
One day this week we worked together on cleaning up the garden. His mother was an amazing gardener and the IRIS are in bloom and just georgous.
Art has been taking care of the gardens and the property and just had this overwealming urge to add some fruit trees of late. It is so funny his desire for these trees.
But the thing that was also super fun I never imagined I would be doing, is planting of grape vines.
Art has a garden design for his father he eventually will bring to fruition. It includes trellis with the grape vines over it. Until then he has them in pots with a wire on the fence for support to allow the fines to come to maturity. He bought a couple plants of a few varietys of grapes.
He definately has a green thumb and has been so joyful when taking care of the garden in his parents home that his mother had designed... I was honored to be there in witness of the joy and do the smalled part in the garden clean up.
Just such a lovely day doing something I love with someone I love.
Hope now and enjoying time with teens who are back from their lunch. Its not too hot here in the house as we open it up and night and close it up so even without AC its tolerable.
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