2022-06-18 - 6:37 a.m.
I awoke at home after enjoying time with Art last night and then leaving to come back home.
It was so nice to be able to enjoy his company but when he fell asleep and I woke to his snoring to realize that I JUST WANTED TO BE HOME that it isn't really that hard-
I left a note.
Hope he gets it this is not about him.
I just needed to be in my own space for a good night sleep AND to be fully present for my kids
Even if they are laissez-faire about it.
(Which I don't understand)
But I DO UNDERSTAND that our family does not make a big deal about things- such as birthdays and events and that we likely SHOULD do more of that!
SO It is wonderfully cool now and I am going to BAKE early before it is hot!
I want to make a cake, and decorate it for the teens.
I also am thinking even though I have NO MONEY maybe I should stop by the folk festival that has not happened in person in years due to COVID and just pay the organizer later. I was not going to go as I have no cash just now . I felt like I can't afford it just now.
But the thing is my FRIENDS are going to be there. And I WILL have cash flow at some point abd it is somethingI used to bring my kids to. If the kids want to go I think I will see if its OK ( it might be sold out already.) It is also private invite only and I never did RSVP so might not be comfortable crashing last minute. Not to mention as I knew there was a conflict with family celebration of graduations I deleted the email invite. The adress and directions are sent after the RSVP so I don't even have directions.
Thank God for Amex there is gas in my car and I got the grad that went to the hot ceremony a slurpee! HA HA A 7 Eleven slurpee on a credit card that is maxxed (it has only a $3,000 limit so I can't get in trouble with debt!) was our big WHOO HOOO the day OF the graduation.
I tried to celebrate that cause you know after standing in the sun on a hot day for three hours a simple 7 Eleven Slurpee is kinda awesome
Small and simple though it is.
I Want to try to be a bit over the top if I can for these kids.
So I visited my lover for dinner. (His Dad made an awesome meal. I can see why Art is so happy and well... not moving... motivated... to make a change... I mean his life right now hanging with his Dad is awesome
and I think that is OK!
That really struck me as I know in my family we just don't do that AT ALL, and it was both a comment of appreciation as well as implied commentary of past it seemed to me. My family is not communicative regularly.
Its such a funny thing. We all assume if someone travels ( anywhere- be it a day or a month or a year) we will catch up when they return.
But living with his Dad it was interesting to me his Dad APPRECHIATED his communication. He called to check on both his Dad and the chickens! HA HA
Ok off to get some things done.
Maybe... will text my dancer friend who lives in DC who is in the area for the weekend for the folk festival. If SHE is going would love to dance with her this AM. Update: ADHD cooking hr: 1rst put these festive little cakes in oven thst are filled with sprinkles. They came out lovely. As they baked I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. After the first tray was put in the oven I then found the egg I forgot to add to the batter. Oops 😬 No egg means the cookies don't spread and are more like a lump. So I added another cup of flour, baking soda, more butter and two eggs with brown sugar molasses and monk fruit sugar, vanilla and chopped pecans and walnuts for cookie batch #2. These did spread but unfortunately some of the batter ran over the edge of the pan. I figured thst out when smelled burning A tiny 🔥 on the element where the dough dripped. Baking soda tossed on it to put out the fire. No zumba this Sat morning as after baking I finished cleaning the kitchen , mopping as well as cleaning out the oven. Thankfully it is a beautiful cool day today! After cleaning the spill I turned on the self clean oven cycle which basically emits toxic odors and should only be done with all windows open and no one in the kitchen! I smell those fumes when the cleaning cycle is running! I am enjoying time chilling while here with teens who have been up and about today. About to spend time sending out birthday cards for June church member's birthdays!
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Writing tonight as it's cool and comfortable and quiet just being with my teen. - 2022-06-18