2022-07-06 - 9:07 a.m.
I enjoyed a lovely morning run. I remember one of the things I so loved about working from home when first shifted to that was the ability to take a morning run without getting up ridiculously early.
Back in the day when commuting I would have to get up around 5 or 6 AM latest in order to get the morning run in. Today Bellatrix woke me when she was ready to get up.
Then as I opened my eyes she started playing joyfully. Just kinda scooted around bumping me with her nose, in the advance and retreat playful rhytmic motion.
I feel so much better when I get a good run in. I am pleased there is no pain in my muscles that had been healing. The left side of my leg had some pain which I think was from overcompensating avoiding stressing the right leg and shifting weight somewhow.
The other nice thing I can enjoy when home is using the neighborhood pool. It's great to have a really nice indoor pool I can go swimming at which only cost $3 each time. But once summer hits there is a pool right in this HOA ( in fact a reason I wanted to live here!)
So I am going to commit to exercising regularly again. Run one day; swim the next and when I have a bit of money again will head over to Zumba on Sat mornings. I might just go anyway and pay the instructor later when I can afford to! He is the kind of very kind person who would be fine with that. He always says "Pay what you can and don't worry about it- cause I do this to keep myself healthy. We are a group of friends helping each other!" But make no mistake he puts WORK into teaching that class and absolutely should be paid for his efforts. I don't care if he developed the dance routines YEARS ago and some are the same ones they have used for years; He still is deserving of being paid for his work!
Maybe I won't be too tired to get up early enough to head there this Sat.
The phone rang again this AM. It was Art, and I did not answer it.
It was a funny thing a I sat watching the fireworks with my girlfriend I was feeling the sadness that so many folks this year are just heartbroken with the overturning of Roe and the homophobia and threats of further rollbacks of civil rights.
Its so crazy.
And that saddens me so much. Here I thought the last area we needed to really attain actual progress was for disabled people.
It is so heartbreaking and terrifying.
I mean it seems so stupid to have trouble being in relationship with others who are different from yourself.
Well it is so much that I just feel so beat up; so wounded at times and so very sad.
I am literally in a grief process.
That really was upsetting when trying to talk about the sadness when my family is not accepted. That was upsetting to have no understanding of how we had to fight for my kid to graduate and then to hear Art go off about how his grandkid was born a boy and his name is _____ so he is going to continue to call him ____.
He sounded so darn angry and he took it personally. We had a conversation about this actually at my kitchen table with my trans kid and him about why it makes no sense for a parent to be upset by their child's choices as the child's choices ARE NOT ABOUT THEM.
Parents needs to really recognize that no matter what age of our children, they are still these unique beings who exist separate and distinct from us and yes they came from us but we are not God's who can mold them into our image and likeness.
It is narcissistic and the uptmost pride to think we are playing God in the creation of our children and that we have some ownership of them such that they have obligations to us as parents to be who we want them to be.
So I was feeling all that sadness when trying to navigate a relationship with Art. There are other things too that just make him incompatible with me. The smoking- YES I did not KNOW he smoked as in the past he never did it around me. He never smoked cigarrettes. I guess I did not know that he tokes regularly. No judgement; but honestly it is NOT MY THING and I don't want to be around it
I get ASTHMA
and I suppose it also triggered me his complete lack of respect and listening and not understanding that.
I mean if one is not going to be even dabbling with that in their 50s and says not interested
I just was feeling so tired and sad as I sat there watching the fireworks as I think it super sad so many are not celebrating our country just now. I think it sad we have such schism and such reasons to be grieving as a county the strength of our democracy and have fear of its being weakened. I mean there were some who literally tried to overthrow our Capital in an insurrection on Jan 6th. Are there STILL Some in denial of such?
I do understand that some who went to DC that day were clueless. I think I have to believe that as one of the ladies I know here living in my town who volunteered with the arts org was so excited to go , and I think she was like my mother who also had been so proud of herself to go to the Right to Life Marches all those years. Those Right to Life Marches were lobbying activism actions asking for the overturn of Roe V Wade.
I GREW UP going to Washington for the Right to Life March each Jan 22.
It was almost a family tradition of the only other regular trip taken , than the summer camping trip with family!
I GET it that some really were so convinced YEARS Ago that they were moralistically justified in trying to preserve the lives of the unborn fetus/baby. They see the fetus as human life and firmly believe we are murdering babies in an awful sin. The Pope articulated the Catholic view with clarity this week-
But the #1 Cause of abortion in my mind is actually therfore POVERTY
So I get both the Pope's view, and my Mothers' -- but think the pope had a broader and deeper understanding than my naive mother! He seems at least aware and compassionate that we should be extending care to all.
At the heart of why we don't address all the issues the Pope is saying should be addressed rather than killing the unexpected, unwanted child I THINK
In any case, I do have empathy for that lady who went to D.C. and was proud she was standing up for what she believed as she got there and I think was shattered by the reality of what was going on. She immediately DID GET IT that this was not what was her intention. She immediately took down all reference to going to D.C. and I have to beleive it was beacuse she SUDDENLY Understood. She actually stopped coming to our board meetings and was uncomfortable with some of the judgement she was feeling from others so laid low. She was kind to still help out from home. I LIKED Her bright smile, and her energy and her joy and have to believe she was naive. I think she just was not aware of the deep agenda . If I am WRONG and she herself was racist and motivated by the hate speech- etc...
We need the Right to life folks who have been mypopically looking at only the single issue from their perspective that the only moral choice is not supproting abortion to look at the bigger picture. EVEN IF THey steadfastly stand in support of abortion not being legal WE NEED THEM To look at all the OTHER ISSUES and recognize that THOSE HARD WON FREEDOMS ARE AT RISK.
WE need to have unity in fighting against facism and against erosion of civil rights.
OK back to work. I did spend time on my business needs this AM. I am at a standstill waiting on the help ticket as for some weird reason my business is being identified in one system I am registering in as in that other hick town that shares my town zip code. I had hoped it would be resolved by now! Its over a week since I put in the help desk ticket to fix the problem. I will NOT register my business with an incorrect address anywhere! THAT would cause further problems so I am trying to be patient.
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I caved and listened to Art's messages. BUT I did not call him. - 2022-07-06