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2022-07-11 - 7:34 p.m.

Dang, I just got an email that there was a message from a medical provider.

It was autogenerated when I paid a recent outstanding bill from the same Dr. office I tried to make an appointment with my psyciatrist I haven't seen in years.

The portal with info was set up years ago when the now college junior was a senior in high school and I was taking him to therapy. He would refuse to talk to the therapist; and then eventually refused to get out of the car so it was not very helpful.

He acted really resentful I was bringing him. I eventually gave up and just took the kid out to get something to eat and figured spending time together rather than fighting was best for our relationship. Funny this is the kid who would steal shit from siblings all the time, and who used to have these violent outbursts- literally threatening siblings. This kid has come a LONG way in managing his anger.

But apparently the outstanding bill I did not know about was for the last appointment I Tried to take that kid to way back when! It was the one sent to collection that I never got a bill of!!

So I paid it just last week, and cleared it up so I could see my Dr. But honestly don't really feel the need to see her now that another week has gone by.

I honestly am feeling alot better. Calmer and not anxious. My chest is not feeling constricted with anxiety.

Hell time with friends helped alot!! Just time to decompress a bit. Getting into motion helped alot! Cooking good food and getting exercise and sleep.

Healthy sleep, exercise and diet does wonders.

When I was really upset I had forgotton to eat. I had ZERO appetite and no energy and was in bed until late afternoon and then ate my first meal of the day around 4pm!

That didn't last but a few days... then snapped out of it. But I think I just needed a couple days of only rest as processed the grief.

Glad for me it was only a couple days.
Feeling normal again!

Bummer is I used up the money in the HSA to pay the outstanding bill. I like the therapist I found and met on line for a few sessions.
But turns out I have now only $65 left in the HSA acct! Heck at least it was there to use when I really needed it so I did get to talk to a therapist those weeks.

But I will cancel the appointment tomorrow. SNAP I should have done it already- 24 hrs before. Just realized it is LESS than that- but will cancel now cause can't afford it.

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