2022-07-22 - 1:46 p.m.

2 hrs 45 minutes

The exact time it took me to review a government issued RFP,
Create an SOW from the requirments that the Prime would like to flow down to the sub
With exactness
and particularity
OMITTING anything that will be a Prime responsibility

and then prepare a letter and accompanying spreadsheet for a REQUEST FOR PRICE QUOTE.

OK so I put other things first and the request came into me at well the 19th late in the day I think?
I sent questions morning of the 20th. Not all were answered. One was WHAT IS THE DEADLINE WE NEED Quote by?
I just made up one based on when we are submitting our proposal.

And I got it done. If no one communicated to me THEY Are getting it done that would suck. BUT NO ONE DID
so I took care of it and sent a draft.

They have what they need to send it out and will have what they need for the proposal to be done in time to submit.

SO my job done.

This is actually the fun part of work. I enjoy it. Digging into a project to undersand the technical scope and digging into the contract and stripping out what is extraneous to flow down.

I used to do about three of these A WEEK.

SO NOW onto the rest of my list

I can't blame the company for ditching me as an employee since I AM efficient and saves them money if I am WILLING TO WORK just hourly when needed.

I set that up. I WANTED THIS
Cause I am not one for "pretending" to be working 40 hrs when don't.

Just can't do it.

I do bill ACTUAL hrs.
and sure I value my time and if they really value me and want to pay me to be on call I AM WORTH IT

But I value MY TIME even more... I mean...even more than selling it.

That is the key . What I am selling my labor to best be worth more than me ensuring the health of my family.

HONESTLY the running around to allergist for immunotherapy, cleaning mold, picking up prescriptions and all that CAN"T be comrpomised to earn money to DO THOSE THINGS...
have to have balance.

So good got it done... and now onto the REST of the list. DAMN already 2pm. The run around this AM to get the power washer I did NOT get WAS a waste of time. Ce la vie.
I also came her as it will help when log hours this week. I have to pay attention or I ESTIMATE and when I do that I think I tend to NOT LEDGER them all more than when estimate wrong. I am great at writing exact times when working at my basement office desk. ( Which is now the kid congregate area as the only place with AC in the house. I have been bumped from that office space while college student living in the basement. Just not worth working down there. HE IS DIFFICULT and complains at ANY NOISE. BAsically a PIA

But he has one more year.. and a good student and doing alright...so want to help launch HIS independence by supporting him even when HE IS a PIA and I think somewhat ungrateful land feels privaleged and entitled.

I still think supporting him is best bet for him to do best in a time not so very long from now.

Although I WISHED this kid would have LIVED with DAD this summer then I could have rented the basement pronto. That is $1000 a month!! Seriously the last rent I got was $950 a month for that space years ago. It is crazy....

But ce la vie...
I would not mind if he was NICE to me. But he is not - often- truth be told.

Some think I should be getting rent from my kids
Some think I should kick them out

I think that would be heartless and that no parent should kick out a difficult kid unless they are crossing the line of difficult into ABUSE

And yes at times my kids HAVE
but it has to do with what tolerence
or how much one is OK enabling such behavior honestly in the face of the worse alternatives.
I mean the alternatives seem like such BAD choices and I am not unable to be happy and coexist with the small moments ( THANK GOD SMALL NOW) of abuse.

If they kept like that as the kids grow- hell yeah I will kick them out. BUT the trend has been LESS and LESS Moments of abuse.

It definately is abuse that happens however.
HERE IS AN EXAMPLE:

So yesterday I was cooking and made tacos. Was done and basement dweller comes upstairs and is getting a plate of tacos and living room teen who is a fixture on the couch (or her bed) arose to come into the kitchen and talk to the basement student about some incentinve in their gaming world. It was some reference to something they could earn.

SO as there in the kitchen I turn from the stove and ask "So what do you have to do to win that?"
and basement dweller responds to me
and I am not making this up
"Shut the fuck up"

I respond

"WHAT? That is so abusive and rude to say to me"

The college student then goes off on how I insert myself into conversations all the time.

and he is sick of it.

I listened and said I could understand that is annoying- but when folks are conversing two feet away from you it is kinda natural to be curious and doesn't seem rude THEN To ask about what they are talking about. If it were PRIVATE they would not have the conversation in a PUBLIC space.

I mean it is different from interjecting a comment from accross the room or into a different room when you are not party to the conversation.

I also said No MATTER WHAT I DO WRONG or what anyone else does wrong
BEING ABUSIVE is not OK
and that is abusive,

I said you say that to a roommate they will say
MOVE OUT
You are not welcome here

I won't be treated like that

And I said
"you can go live with your Dad. Honesly when you talk to me like that it makes me think I SHOULD kick you out because I don't want to be treated abusively"

Unbelievable

I also said " I expect you to treat me with the same respect you would treat any roommate"

They said "We are not roommates"
I said
"or housemate"
I am your mother and you are treating me worse than you would a STRANGER

AT least treat me with the basic human decency you would treat a stranger. I expect that at the very least.

It makes no sense to me.
The anger and how these kids are so irritated by my presence as if I talk NONSTOP to them. I don't! What the hell.

It is really annoying when someone DOES always talk nonstop or insert themselves
but this is MY HOME
and that is what I said to them

IT is my home and as much as I want YOU To be comfortable in YOUR HOME as Yes you are welcome here and it your home too
IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT MY PRESENCE and LET ME BE COMFORATBLE IN MY OWN HOME then you will need to leave.

The thing is the kid goes back to college soon enough.
So be it.
the kid WILL NOT be here and I will rent the basement then. Soon enough.

I can't do it yet-
but I will NOT be unable to pay my bills and maintain this house. I have had challenges before and will meet them.

Too bad my one realtor friend did not keep her liscense active. LLast time I needed a tenant I had her as the listing agent and it was super helpful. (Worth one month of rent which is what I paid her!) She is the one I meet to walk with in town here about once a month. She offered for me to weed for her but I didn't take her up on that. I can't see doing that for her when I had to do SAME here at home and when I have the porch project still!! MAYBE After all that is caught up I will feel OK going to her house. She paid someone 12 and hr and they likely cant do it cause pay is too low for the drive to her house ( ALSO on the mountain! HA HA that darn mountain-- I have had a few friends that live there!)

OK now off to the pharmacy and the library before it closes at 5pm.

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