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2022-07-30 - 10:37 p.m.

Wow. Just a fabulous date last night. Seinfeld was so much fun. He is smart and yes at times witty, actually attractive but most of all very thoughtful and considerate. He is do good with boundaries as he has done alot of work to be so. He acknowledges his weaknesses and basically does the hard work to better himself. He did struggle with some issues as we all do but he humbled himself to get help when he needed to in his life. Such a refreshing change from the men I have spent my time with for the most part! He was also so chill about my house and a very gracious appreciative guest. It was just comfortable from the moment he arrived and the first hug and kiss hello until the kiss goodbye until next time.


Which will be whenever...

It was such an honestly perfect evening.

Not sure what the shift was/ is but there was certainly no lack of chemistry. Maybe it 🤔 is lack of fear?
Or now lack of ego. Maybe it was fine for me to date multiple men but I wasn't into him as he wanted to date multiple people too. Ha ha. ( That woukd be all ego!)and then maybe he was same...ha ha. As in once he knew there were actually other men in my life and it was not theoretical he lost interest cause of his ego! I have been all for open relationships but maybe it was a control thing for me! An insecurity thing for me. AND SAME FOR HIM ?Lack of trust like not putting all my eggs in one basket so to speak. Self protection of not trusting myself to have a deep attachment to one person. Cause then could be devastated. So safer to avoid sttachment, avoid deep connection. Or rather only could trust the Known entity- Art , falling back on the familiar 🤔 the known ( or so I thought).
Ok to bed !
It was just such a great past 24 hrs!!

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Just some further rambling morning pages. - 2022-08-04

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Priorities list to get done now... its getting late !! - 2022-08-03

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DAMN mid day nap time I just can't help it on summer days with no AC After a sandwich! - 2022-08-03

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Sucks being kinda poor - 2022-08-03

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Goodnight- luxury of going to bed early!! YEAH will not be interrupted!! - 2022-08-01

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