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2022-08-16 - 3:23 p.m.

WTF I get two letters from Virginia Employment Commission

both dated the SAME date.

The first says "you are eligible for unemployment" and gives info that they communicated with my last employer who declined to provide any comments questioning my eligibility


Then the 2nd cites a different provision of law and says I am INELIGIBLE as I have not been unemployed
and says I have not had sufficient loss of work such that the hours I am working render me ineligble

That is just wrong. They are supposed to deduct whatever hrs worked at a part time job from the eligibility to gap fill A BIT at least when lose primary income.

This is likely what happened last time around.

The fact of the part time low wage job interferes with ability to receive any assistance.

I find that disappointing and frustrating

as I make about $5000 a year TOTAL in that part time weekend job I typically work every other weekend.

JUST BECAUSE that employer is happy to re-arrange their schedule NOW to give me about 20 hrs a week

that 20 hrs a week at the low wage job is still not a livable wage.

So Far I have received $4500 in ACTUAL help from family to pay the essential bills.

So I find it ridiculous that the VEC acts like I am still working and earning income and not eligible for umemployment insurance.

Hell even at 9.25 per hour for SOME HOURS it would be better than nothing. I expected at this point to date to at least get about $500 or $600

It would not even be enough to pay back family yet. NO I have to wait til REALLY earning some decent income again.

BUT it would help in paying the mortgage NEXT month.

It is so aggrevating.

I have no choice but to find a tenant for my basement once the college student is back at school.

I still can't really believe not one of the three young adult children even had one iota of an inclination to try to work and truly feel this sense of entitlement and like it is MY RESPONSIBILITY To continue to provide for them without any expectation of their efforts at all.

I just don't get it.

I don't understand why the one who did have the one interview is still home and did not fill out the job application on line- the one last step. When I asked "Is there any REASON you didn't complete that application on line yet?" She responded "I just didn't get to it." I Said "That sounds like alot of procrastination. Its three weeks now."

I did feel badly that on her 18th birthday I LITERALLY HAD $1.50 left in my bank. I was waiting on help that was sent by PAYPAL before could do anything.

So she did not get even a birthday present. That really does suck.
There was a cake mix here so cupcakes were made ( I was working that day and felt like an idiot in the morning when there were not even EGGS for the cake mix!! I was way too tired to stop by my winery/egg producer friend to pick some up on an IOU. I intended to but it was pouring Sat night when I left work at 9:15 and I was exhausted and just not up to driving in the pouring rain there. I also prefer to not show up unannounced after his work day... and I had not texted him at all when thought of it. I work up Sunday and was enjoying my morning and church on line and only around noon did I realize the birthday was THAT DAY and not Monday! Somehow I just had it in my head wrong! (The ADHD thing of not really knowing the date!) Thankfully then on Sunday, when I got home it seemed someone made the cupcakes anyway thankfully).

Her bro did go to the store and days before bought a little mini cake and some candy for her. So she did have a birthday cake at least.

Her bestie came over and spent the night here the night before and they cooked a nice meal on her birthday they ate and watched movies all day while I went to work that day at the retirement community.

I just feel really badly for this now 18 yr old who has not had proper celebration of her graduation or her birthday. That is just shitty.

and she downplays it
Which makes me feel worse as I think this kid really doesn't expect NORMAL GOOD THINGS in life.

So I do take it as depression that she doesn't follow up on the job application despite encouragement.
She also plays video games and I think gaming addiction a real problem.

The three of the kids here are in this fantasy world of Genshin Impact.

It is all they ever do.

I still remember life BEFORE the gaming system was a Christmans Gift one year when they were in MIddle School and AFTER the gaming system was gifted to them.

I do think that their health has been adversely impacted by only playing video games and not doing much else!

Well the one kid was in band. But now that shcool is done- and not in college, there is nothing else.

The other is on discrord servers and has an active ON LINE social life. Not sure how much that wprld is encouraging the kid to try to push self to try anytihing new or is just providing a safe place to be in a cooccon and avoid entering the real world.
It seems very much like that too is an escape.

Sure the world is very different than when I grew up.
My brothers too were homebodies and played video games but the thing is they all got JOBS and went to work and then did that when home. They did not do that to the exclusion of all else! They did not do that to the point of not being interested in earning money at a job!

I just don't understand the absolute lack of motivation and dreams.

Its like there is no visioning of future goals and planning for them.

EVEN When I suggest and ask
"What is your plan for today?

This month?
This year?


Is there something YOU aspire to DO?

Figure out what it is and what steps you need to take to get there.

It seems so logical to me.

But my kids just are not budging much off the couch.

The reality is if I don't land a job I will have to sell this house and move where it is affordable.

I have mentioned the possibility.

Maybe it will be good for them if that were forced.

Maybe a new enviroment would make a difference?

A cooler environment where their POTS symptoms are possibly more managable? ONe says the heat makes them far worse. Maybe that is true..

In any case. Today I applied for a few jobs.

It is just disappointing when nothing is happening TO ME. I can be still. I can be content just BEING
But not for long.
I have to be DOING or enjoying SOMETHING
and I have to have peace of knowing all my need are met without worry about roof over head and food on the table.

So yesterday I did feel more relaxed for sure. I wrote two short pieces I sent out to a publication that PAYS.

I only write creatively essentially when there might be pay associated with it. I write articles every so often- very infrequently as the pay itself is crappy for any well researched journalism. The time in research along makes it not a money making venture which is why I did not continue to persue journalism as a career.
BUT, if there is a $500 prize AND publicaiton for 750 words of short fiction! HELL YEAH
I tried my hand at that. Heck I figure in a days work if I can knock off two stories and submit them and ENJOY IT ( the day just went! I intended to just craft the stories but they took all day and were fun!) well... if I land publication the rate per hour is not as much as drafting contracts but not far off.

So I figure while job hunting I will continue to also scope out short fiction contests and send some work in.
FREE entries or very low cost only.

I can't really afford to gample on really good journals where there is not a CHANCE of publication.

I read the winning work from last year however and think it was not that long of a shot and worth it to the one that had a $5 fee that I submitted to yesterday. The thing is they publish MULTIPLE follks work. They don't just pick one winner. They gerneate lots of content with that $5 fee and then curate the next year's publications.

The thing is I noticed how HAPPY I Was writing! I was so content with my cups of coffee getting in flow and losing track of time.

Honestly some day when these kids are all actually independent and I don't need to care for and provide for them anymore I can see myself being content with one little space to live, a desk and good cups of coffee and my little dog to get me out an get walking to get exercise every day

ONCE raised all the kids
and only have SELF to provide for- hell my needs are simple.

I could see THEN being happy as a journalist or creative writer. I could see enjoying the reseach on odd topics.

My first job out of college with my English degree was a monthly column at Western NY Health Magazine.

It paid $150 for each monthly article on research breakthroughs I had a regular column.

Heck I would have to live OFF my retirement
YES only then-I think I COULD give it a go of working as a freelance writer in my retirement while living off my retirment fund in some cheap city. (certainly not here in one of the wealthiest and overpriced U.S. Counties )

Just to keep busy and engaged.
a city with a community of writers...

heck I am missing the Buffalo vibe.

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