2022-09-18 - 7:09 p.m.

It's the weekend so I don't do work.

I mean I will pick up my weekend job at the retirement community but I have a STRICT policy that I do not engage in conversations about my professional work on weekends.

That is a serious boundary issue.
Folks who are going to hit you up for work on the weekends basically will not respect your boundarys later. It is a HUGE red flag.

I recall a recruiter trying to schedule an interview for a professional role on a Saturday once that called my cell phone. She wanted to know if I was available the next morning. The actual company hiring was intending on interviewing .I had already had a screening interview with her on a Friday afternoon. (This was a couple years ago and I still recall it as it was so... well OFF. They were so obnoxious.)
What the hell! Hell NO...

Run from anyone who needs you to be availble to do work on weekends.

I say that with one caveat: UNLESS you have a pre-existing working relationship and there REALLY is something that is an anomoly and it is OPTIONAL and there is not pressure to be EXPECTED to work weekends.

That is seriously one of the things I LOVED about my last job. It had such a great work culture of the HELL NO to weekend work and HELL NO to any "invented" emergency.
Truth is there are so many requests for proposals out there and so many opportunities that there is no NEED To give up balance and healthy relationships in life in pursuit of the mighty dollar and in pursuit of winning another contract.

That is what I hope to find again in a company! That kind of work hard Monday through Friday but DO TAKE OFF for your kid's soccer game, or recital or your wife or husband's doctor appointment or your spouse's promotion. DO CELEBRATE birthdays and things in life that MATTER. BE PRESENT For your family.

I mean it is what I want in life.

I kinda wish they had not judged me because I don't really HAVE a typical family that DOES those things. I mean it was just awkward to run into the VP and his whole family at graduation of his kid from high school when two of mine were graduating in the SAME graduation class and only one of mine was in attendance and there was NO OTHER Family that they saw ( my kid's Dad WAS there but they did not see him). It was just awkward.
I ran into this VPs wife at the elementary school where my one kid went back dressed in her graduation robe along with her good friends she graduated with ( two gals who happened to give the salutatorian speech at the high school); and it was just awkward. I mean meeting the wife of my one boss in the little town we both happened to live in-
I think somehow that freaked her out. Its a small town and the Mom's club PTA was not kind to me I think. I swear the fact my EX could volunteer at the school and be Mr. Mom while he was fighting for custody while I had to work full time plus jobs to make money to live and provide- and pay legal bills...etc..
just left me as the one odd parent. Those moms don't know me and I was DEFINATELY the butt end of some wacky rumor mills.
It was apparent in the way treated.

All that crap of past kinda resurfaced in my consiousness when my kids graduated high school and I was fired just weeks later. I mean it made me not KNOW as there is no evidence but WONDER what the hell was the impact of the random fact I lived in that same small town.

I need not worry about this.
But it does still pop in my head at times..

OH yeah today cause I am thinking of all I LOVED about that small business company culture.

I really NEED a decent company culture.

And I think of this as I today got a lead on work for my consulting business. someone needs a contract reviewed- exactly the work I do. But they posted the need to an on line writers group a friend who is a pro writer is in ON THE WEEKEND.

I got the text of the opportunity as I was on my date last night. I mean sorry no I am not working when its down time over the weekend.

I apprechiated the lead but will reach out on Monday morning.
If it is too late so be it.

Just disappointing. I mean I wish the lead came in Friday afternoon, not Sat afternoon...

I am keeping that boundary.
It is ESSENTIAL to me.

I know this as I did at one point find my self bonding with a neighbor and friend as we BOTH were working somehting like 70 hr weeks (or more?) including non stop weekend work reviewing proposals. We bonded over dysfunctional workaholism. I ended up being a good friend to him and he to me. He would text me and we would take breaks for dinner once in a while
And this is on my mind for two reasons:
1. We would go to eat at the place where my one friend played music Friday nights. It was fabulous to hear her play and sing. She also had her daughter join her sometimes way back then.
and
2. He and his wife just celebrated their anniversary!! She posted the beautiful flowers and all he did to honor her and wrote "I trained him well".

I was so happy to see that! I am happy every time I see her post of how she is feeling so loved and validated and happy in their marriage. I also know that post is partially true- the other part is we all get by with a little help from our friends and on those dinner outings I was coaching him on how her language of love is different from him. I was coaching him on how he had to buy sweet cards and flowers and tangibly give her those physical signs of love and how he had to be initiating physical affection as she NEEDED THAT. She NEEDED The man to make it CLEAR he wanted HER in the particular. He could not assume she knew. Regardless of how long they were married he needed to romance her like he just met her. That was my advise. I counseling him on how he ( like me!) had to stop the workaholic tendency we both were challenged by. We made a point of stopping work and getting exercise once in a while too. This was all while they were separated and I coached him on things to do to try to get her back.

Truth be told the thing that most helped was her thinking there was some interest in her hubby ! HA HA IT was hilarious as the moment she THOUGHT there was interest (even if there was no romantic interest) she suddenly saw he hubby in a new light. My friend June told her what she saw in her husband ( who she was also friends with. They would go play tennis). I told her what I saw in her husband- and it was the things she seemed to have overlooked. I told her he was devoted and very much in love with her but a quiet introvert by nature but also one of the best listeners. He was empathatic and considerate and warm and present. He was loving and thoughtful and a steady and stable provider for her and their kids. He was devoted and easygoing and willing to do whatever she had interest in.

It was so nice to see them get back together and see how he learned to communicated in the ways she seemed to crave.

They have honestly been the happier in the last ten years! Its wonderful to see.

He also kicked the workaholic tendency and they travel more ! That has been awesome to see as well.

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