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2022-09-19 - 10:37 a.m.

I connected with my friends who I run the MCM with or join their fundraising team each Fall.

I should have conncected earlier- but was not sure I could handle running.
I enjoyed a good run this weekend and am going to go now actually.

Its georgous out and I love running in the Fall. I had a good call with the recruiter who told me it was the CEO who saw my profile and wanted her to reach out to me. At their meeting he asked her about it again so that is a good sign.

Hopefully they will hire me via my company at the rate I want/need and hopefully this will be a truly GOOD fit.
I am feeling good about it.

The company is just doing super cool stuff and the recruiter said she loves supporting them ( she too is a business owner) and that the owner is brilliant and tranformative with emerging tech in the space in. The kind of stuff I LOVE and the thing I am really jazzed about is that this company is also mindful of trying to make the world a better place. I mean they seem like they walk the walk of care for environment and diversification without it being just BS.

I have such trouble with posturing that is bullshit.
I have trouble when people are uncomfortable with truth. Just face truth and if you don't like it change it-
don't be avoidant.

I feel like in some of the larger companies there is this BS talking around issues as sound bites, marketing as it is "trendy" but then if I raise truth and want to dig deep they get REALLY nervous. Change is seen as a condemnation of those who did not think of issues before (That is BS I never attack People but just raise issues to LOOK AT and ASK "Can we do better? How is what we ARE doing affecting others? What others? HAve we considereed THIS or THESE folks and ramifications? Are we overlooking something or someone we should not disreagard that could be considered? "

I don't feel like questions should be so off putting. I mean I only raised those questions in FORUMS where the company ASKED us to be thoughtful about specific issues.

But I dig deep. I go far deeper than they have been ready for.

So honestly I want to work for someone just brilliant that GETS IT.

That sounds so condenscending in a way. I don't mean for it to be. But I HAVE To support visionaries who are thriving because they see things differnently in the spaces they are in. Those are the people who GET ME.

Those are the folks not freaked out by challenges. Not freaked by something seeming messy and hard.

I kinda LIKE messy and hard as a challenge.
BUT Not in my PERSONAL life.

That is the clear boundary for me. Accept challenging hard valuable work then decrompress let go and relax when not working.

So going for a run.

All this to say I came to write specifically to capture I am heartbroken that my friends' son is paralyzed still from waist down and struggling.

My friend the marine has a stepson who went to Paris Island. He came back after an accident and may be disabled for life most likely now it seems.

If not too late I will run the MCM 10K on their fundraising team. It should not be too late to join the team as a runner ( even if ostensibly closed. I think the fundraising teams have a certain # of spots kind of on reserve- at least they did in the past.) If this year is different and it is too late I will at least share his fundraising team and just show up to support them and hang out and give moral support. I have zero money to give. But if not too late heck I will be sponsored for the $65 registration fee by my company! Companies are allowed to make donations and support good causes. This is worth it for me as the one thing I do that is important to me every year. I mean hell the Semper Fi Fund was so supporting keeping my friend alive when he nearly died.

Its allowable. I wish I had the $65 PERSONALLY but hell will do that if its the only way.

I run out of my love for my friend and gratitude. I kinda fucking HATE That the post of that on Linked in is ALSO legit good marketing for my company. It feels like BS like it should not be. Like this is something so personal and private to me and about loving and supporting my friends. Now him and his wife and family. I fucking HATE CAPITALIZING that. Makes me cringe. It bothers me so much I edited the mention of this as my hobby on my buininess page but got consistent feedback that needed to add something PERSONAL so put it back in as it is TRUE.

I just hate the fact that in this Washington DC area anything supporting military is the best marketing.

It is what it is. And that makes the payment of the $65 a legit marketing business expense. Which nearly makes me sick to my stomach to do. BUT I can
and its legal
and it is sound business.

So hell
My company will be my sponsor. I don't otherwise have the $65 if it is NOT too late to register and a runner and even if I hate the capitalization of possible gain from something so damn personal- it is TRUE this is legitimately allowable.

What the hell
I believe in giving back. Its like 10% of the incoming revenue so far. (No profit yet) What the hell- following tithing too? Right?? (give to a good cause to help others worse off than self)

So its legit...
but feels crappy.
Well I am happy to be able to register and run (IF NOT TOO LATE) or at least show up and go.

But damn that their son is still paralysed waist down. Semper fi helps folks like him and his stepdad who had TBI.

Life is freaking fragile.

So I will use the company for that "sponsorship" and show up to celebrate his life and their family and be there.
Its one thing I can do.

And for today- time for a quick run then guzzling water as have my doctor appt to get pics taken and hope it is considered "screening" that is routine and covered by my health insurance
not "diagnostic" which is NOT covered.

I called and they gave some bullshit that it is covered as screening UNLESS They find something and then it is diagnositic.

That is BS

I am goign to follow the Doctor order. Get the pics just to be sure my excessive bleeing is not something like cancer. Would suck to NOT get screeing done if something WERE wrong...
so better safe than sorry
EVEN IF I get stuck with some crazy medical bill.

That is the choice I am making today. Confident I can pay whatever... with ongoing decent work.
I will land something soon.

and decided not to stress too much about pulling from 401 K if have to.

I have to live.

I mean that is what that fund is for. Did not expect to be reliant on it BEFORE hit my 60s but what the heck. This is temporary and as my mom always said "This too shall pass."

Off for a quick run with the dog!

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