Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2022-11-08 - 5:57 p.m.

Life is weird.

I really lack trust of folks sometimes.

But I guess that is to be expected specifically in relation to cold calls or cold emails received

I get a call about a job for instance and I kinda know when the recruiter is phishing for info and doesn't really have a real job .... I mean sometimes they do have a client and other times they are just full of BS as speculative and looking for connections and opprotunities...

YET I am working for a client; yes my first client

who found ME on Linked In and knew I actually surprisingly met all the criteria he listed he WANTED to find for a support contractor-
to help him out once in a while.
SO I talk to recruiters even when think they might be full of crap...and some may have another agenda....
I am smart enough to not be played.
And today I did review the first item they flipped to me to work on.
And It felt SO GOOD to read the doc and identify all the issues.

The funny thing is there was the typical balance between business objectives and balancing risk

I start off being really risk adverse and protecting interests of whom I am reviewing on behalf of;
THEN consider actual risk
and if they are low will then REWRITE
and soften my postition

and then I offer TWO alternatives and let the owner or business lead of the developing business decide which they think most approprite

BECAUSE they have a different vantage point; the bigger picture perspective; as well as know particular details that impact a decision that I know nothing about.

So today it was funny to me that I reviewed a contract and then after my initial GUT response
when softened
and it was sent out

Someone on the team pointed out an item I had intially called out then dropped as a big issue to be too worried about. I flagged the issue- but not strongly.
So it was GREAT to have the teamwork of this group where they had GROUPTHINK


I mean it felt so fabuous to work with a really communicate team. It was not like crickets or pulling teeth to get opinons or a group expecting me to tell them what to do.
Some companies HATE when I am not clearly DECISIVE on an issue
but give options and alternatives


It landed well!!

That was the style I like that did not land all that well in one place I worked.

It was like my boss wanted me to tell her what postion to take and often the best LEGAL answer to a question really is:


and then more infomation is needed.

ON this occasssion there was not time for me to call and ask a bunch of questions I would have liked to ask.

I think it was a great first engagement however and i felt really good about it

So hope they send me more work to help out with


It was actually FUN
and I got in FLOW
and time flew

I just realized I put 11 hours into that review total.

More than I thought I would

My first review was DONE in two and a half.
BUT THEN I dug deep into a number of issues I used best judgement on and wanted to find much more information on and understand deeper.

Some I did not find much on and others I really learned something new.

I also geeked out on understanding the TECHNOLOGY the work is related to and the actual services being provided and what the "Sruff" being sold does and what the added value is being sold and how it works together

and I researched each company in the transaction
and I had to know who the heck they all were etc...

I mean for me that is the FUN of this work- the digging deep to unravel all these mysteries of learning how things work
how they work together with other things
and in the end how they collaboration can make the world a better place.

The one thing I did NOT dig into is the policy surrounding the particular sector this contract is in.

That too is a new area full of learning possibilities for me which makes it super fun.

HOW'S that for talking about work without actually substantively talking about it at all??


I am just so pleased I was sent ACTUAL VALUABLE WORK for my FIRST ACTUAL CLIENT
(*not the "your fired but * We will be your first client- FAKE Client who then sent me all of one subK and one NDA which were piddly couple hrs of work tops)


This just felt so good as on Monday I spent time scrolling upwork which is abysmal as it is all folks trying to hire attorneys at ridiculously low rates.

So first of all I am not an attorney
I was not eligible for most work there

But secondly, it was a ridiculous low rate for the skill set those folks wanted. I mean actually insultingly low.

I agree one should not be proud and should work at what jobs they can find in a market.

I was ready to humble myself and gave a quote to consider a job....

Too low I realzied ( DANG ) once I did it and got two more cold calls for jobs paying $30 to $45 more per year. (but then again those are Contract Director Jobs and hold fiduciary responsiblity and are dedicated full time 40 hr plus roles)


If I can land a Contract Director at $150 or more per year hell yeah I will jump into workaholism (HA HA...)
I mean I would for a bit
but after get in FLOW the hours would become less. As I get familiar with a space and its templates are scubbed and the processess improved and streamlined by me, and the other folks educated in what makes a sound contract ( I did this in the last place and the job before that as well. Training others in areas they don't know and learning from them in areas I don't know is always great!)

YEAH if I landed one of those jobs would take it.

But I am not really striving for that as it was fun to work the way I worked today. And then it will be so fabulous that tomorrow I can GO SWIMMING

or just put on a video and DO YOGA when I wake in the AM and not have to worry about any work.

I won't see a dime of the money for today's work yet- as it will just pay off expenses of starting up my business. I am in official start up mode meaning working for no income as of yet and investing my money in the expenses to have gotten the business running.
But I think this will be well worth it!

And I will follow up on the two jobs recruiters called me about,


Tonight I am going to go to church to sing with the chior. I missed doing so on this past sunday.
But it was nice to visit my guy in DC and go to dinner with him after playing guitar for about an hour with him Sat afternoon just practicing. That was so fun! Then we just enjoyed each other's company after dinner and the best part was I swear we were in bed asleep super early! Like 9:40pm!! I mean ASLEEP
OUT cold
and then SLEPT IN!!
Daylight savings so we got an extra hour and I was enjoying a rare moment of being able to sleep in as long as wanted.

*OK not long... but longer than usual and so restful. I weirdly sleep EXCEPTIONALLY Soundly there at his place. Even better than my own.
Think cause my dog wakes me to be honest. And I did not drink water before bed so did not have to get up to go to the bathroom!
So it was just terriffic.
There is also the feeling of being enfolded and held by someone that feels so SECURE and SAFE at times that promotes such rest.

Just lovely.

SIGH.... just too bad this guy and I are not actually in love.


We are not there.


So true.
But it is good.
It is what it is.
And i like it.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!

WTF? The time is CORRECT On my device now. Was WRONG just a few minutes ago when wrote. I touched nothing but for posting my entry. - 2022-11-10


Now to fix the time on this computer and get dressed. NIX the shower. - 2022-11-10


FINALLY expect a plumber to REALLY Come to fix the water heater. - 2022-11-09


OK I wrote too long STILL even when writing about how have to STOP writing too long... is this a Diaryland addiction? Once start writing can't stop? - 2022-11-09


a knowing - 2022-11-08