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2022-11-08 - 6:52 p.m.

I hate sometimes when I have a premonition-
I mean a literal premonition and then know when it came true as well.

I have a distinct MEMORY of having gone to the store to buy toilet paper last week one day. I was really tired. I took the EBT card for food stamps with me and my one bank card intentionally to try to buy the toilet paper with the EBT card to see what happened.
It did not work-
so confirmed only FOOD is covered with the SNAP funds for my family during this gap period between jobs.

I thought so but did not read anything about this and for all I knew it could have changed so wanted to test buying an essential NON Food.

Heck if anything was added to the CAN BUY items that is non food it would have been TP!

I also had little cash and did not want to spend it if could wait as had bills to pay! (This was BEFORE the tax return showed up- which by the way IS GONE just about after paying off all but two medical bills.

So after I got back home I was TIRED and I RECALLED putting that EBT card down. AND I recall it was on my desk- I think sitting there. And I recall thinking " What if someone takes this to try to use it"
then thinking specifically of my one kid
"What if..."
and thought that would be ok but would not work without the PIM

and then thought of my tenant
"what if..."
and that would just suck if she WERE NOT trustworthy and were to do something like that!
but it ALSO would still not work so no worries...

Well lo and behold the card has been MIA.

I did call and CANCEL it and ordered a NEW ONE upon not being able to later find it a couple days later.
BUT I was like
"DAMN! When had that thought it was almost like 'one of them is going to take my card. Not sure which one but if left here one of them is going to take my card..."

It felt weirdly like foreknowledge. Like a KNOWING

I know that has to come across as cooky

or strangly bizarre like there must be something delusional about ME to have such thoughts..maybe almost grandiose to think I had a permonition into the future.

it was a weirdly matter of fact

I mean a knowing this was to happen

but with such certitude ( even without the specificity of WHO) but such knowledge without judgment that someone was going to pick up that card to use and certain it would be the one kid.

The other thought I think of the tenant came AFTER that sorta just knowing pop up in brain... like it was a thought response to the first active knowing. The thought response CURATED by my active thinking
whereas the knowing moment is not something I DID, not something I curated or created or expended any INTENTIONAL thinking into-
it was just automatic
not in my control and not by me if that makes sense.

Anyone ever have such moments of intuitive knowledge? NOT based on your own experience or internal reasoning based on past experienced?

I write about this as weird intuitive KNOWING Moments happen to me
and they are not any grandious
large and important things...
these moments of knowing

They are small details
of small moments in life

like that moment where I put the card down and KNEW my one kid would pick it up and try to go to the store.

I didn't have that thought with judgement even. It was not feeling good or bad about it but nuetral at first.

It was just a knowing that would happen.

SO the interesting thing ( and the thing I DID NOT THINK NOR EXPECT) was that..
lo and behold when I wanted to shop next ( after that day putting it on my desk) I COULD NOT FIND THE CARD!!

And I searched everywhere.

No where to be found.
(Cause it was NOT in my stuff of course!!! It HAD been picked up!)

So I come home from my DC visit and my kid asks me
"What is the pin for the EBT card"

And I immediately say *( DAMN!)
"Oh I lost it.So I called to shut the card off. They sent a new one that will be here in a week"

5 to days


WE have had to get with what is in the house this that card arrives. The new card....

So dozed off ...

thing that BOTHERED me about that moment of knowing was ALSO that when I asked "did you take the card?"
My kid said "NO"

and I KNkew that was not true.

Why else just ask for the PIN Number?
just randomly?
The kid inended tp use it.

So this week sucked. FOod wise

I just can't wait for that card toarrive....

I just WAS NOT going to get help and pick up food anywhere else when ALREADy got allocated money to shop this year for groceries!

What the hell

all this to say
I went in my purse- and there the EBT card was sitting.

I KNOW it was not there last I checked I KNOW This as I worked on Sat and used that purse and then took it with me to my guy friends'.

NOt a knowing
not an intution thing but based on the experiences I recalled.

Going to sleep now...

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quick meditation then interview. - 2022-11-10


WTF? The time is CORRECT On my device now. Was WRONG just a few minutes ago when wrote. I touched nothing but for posting my entry. - 2022-11-10


Now to fix the time on this computer and get dressed. NIX the shower. - 2022-11-10


FINALLY expect a plumber to REALLY Come to fix the water heater. - 2022-11-09


OK I wrote too long STILL even when writing about how have to STOP writing too long... is this a Diaryland addiction? Once start writing can't stop? - 2022-11-09