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2022-11-23 - 6:49 a.m.

ooooh Black Fri sale on HULU For peeps out there interested $1.99 mo for the next year then $7.99 mo

I like HULU- one kid has a student subscription so watch that on occasion!
My son was on a Hulu show as guest artist for three episodes which was fun to catch.
Killing EVE a killer good show!
*I don't watch much TV but that was a good watch

I did binge watch for free few shows of the new seasons of my son's insane crazy show he is on over the top drama, telanova style. So funny! I am not paying to see it for sure. I mean really I can't justify the $20 when not working-- HA HA


Sharing and wondering if APPLE TV has sales too?

Just reminder this is a good time of year for subscriptions sales.

I am thinking I need to do something for Christmas for the family.

Possibly Apple TV? ( Depending on cost... will look into it.)
OK that would be for me. I kinda want to watch The Morning Show-

BUT I am thinking the family will like it too and no good ideas bubbling up yet.

BUT the Fire stick-- $29 That might be it...on the budget this year! Heck if that has any added value for kids they would be happy with just that. Have to figure out if I even have a compatible TV to run these devices!

Hmm APPLE TV At Walmart $79
Subscription free for 3 mos with purchase of device.... then $6.99 mo thereafter....

I am not interested in adding any more monthly bills til increase income. So have to consider options-

but with first 3 mos free?
There is some free content just on the Apple device.

I kinda hope to get a better gift idea.
Not feeling super excited about the idea of another reason to encourage NOT getting off the couch! (HA HA)

Will talk to kids and see if ANYTHING They are interested in DOING That I can support.

Art class? Metal sculpture? Marble block carving ?
NO kidding a local dude was teaching carving of sculptures from stone last winter...

My one kid was looking at studio arts programs for college and I suggested start by taking local classes and I found that.

I would rahter support active INTERESTS.

Join Makerspace ?

OH there is a good idea

I brainstorm when I ramble in my writing-

AH I will look into that! But now- Time for allergy shot for one and then a trip to pick up college kid.
I have insisted that this time we are stopping at a National Park that is en route on the way home to take a walk at least. ( I can't call it a hike as psychologically I swear that word instills fear in them! Kids are so funny. My son, when we went on a hike in his now hometown, THANKED Me for instilling a love of nature by taking the kids on hikes and really introducing them to that when young. He was so sincere.
If you talk to my autistic kid- that kid might tell you me dragging them on hikes was abusive ! HA HA I mean it is all about the unique personality and what each like! Each unique... and the truth is maybe BOTH ARE TRUE That it was a blessing for the one kid (or some) but not enjoyed by the other. BUT I can tell you right now I think it interesting that I RECALL the autisic kid HAPPY when we were out in nature! I recall just a couple years ago the joy at sitting by a stream looking at the rocks. I think that kid needs MORE of that and would feel better.
Honeslty I think getting OFF discord where reading and ruminating about what parents did that was wrong would do that kid a world of good!
I thought it telling that the kid said to me-
In response to me saying "But you were a happy kid"
"Yes, until age 11 when I learned what abuse was"

I mean if you are happy and are not feeling hurt and upset by life

why would someone else telling you something is not good
then make you suddenly reframe how you experienced your childhood

I mean your experiences are your experiences

your reaction should be based on how it made YOU Feel

ANYONE KNOWS that abuse is wrong in the moment I think

SURE it can become normalized

but it NEVER feels good when someone is YELLING At you
EVERYONE knows it is abuse when they are hit
I mean- it is pretty obvious that a kid feels pain when they are being assaulted

But it is the OTHER things- that are psycologically abusive I think maybe it is harder to identify?
Maybe harder to recognize in the moment?

SO I am just still processing the allegation I was abusive to my kid BY My kid here--the brainstorming so to speak of thinking about how and why....

but I think there is this reaction to past memories that can CHANGE if one is reading much and allowing others interpretation of Their experiences to shape their perception

That is the part I don't get in the shift to consider things like making your kid go on a hike with family as seeming cruel ( We did go on winter hikes too- but all were dressed appropriately I did not like when I thought a neighbor that caem WAS CRUEL To his kid- She would not out on her coat and he let her walk without it and I thought he was an ass. Carry the coat He left it in the car thinking the kid would learn to listen-
I distinctly recall what an ass he was and YES I thought he was abusive.. he went too far with consequences in to cruelty of his then young kid.

Made me not intereted in him....

IN the past four years of driving kids back and forth to this college *two chose the same college- as really lovely small private could not be happier with! (I try to not mention some particulars just for privacy of kids- just in case....)

Now that wasn't mentioned of late by my kid-
but in the past my kid complained that I made them go camping and hiking as if it was the cruelest thing ever.

I don't know-
perhaps if you did not know it was abuse when someone WAS hitting you
or punishing harshly then it is also hard once learn that is abuse to parse out what else was or was not abuse as it also made you feel uncomfortable?

MAYBE to an autistic person the simple act of being made to wear scratchy clothing is as painful as the parent hitting the kid?

Maybe that is why this kid is so angry?

Like if your perception is that different

then I guess we have noramalized ( and I think this is good) Discomfort

But the discomfort physically of an austistic person is more intense
like a PAIN
due to hypersensitivity?

SO there is a deeper anger at the years of having to conform to the world's expectations.

I suppose...

Trying to empathize. Guess shouldn't over think it and worry too much as after the moment of saying how I was hated the kid was interacting with family
cooking together
doing laundry
and it was fine

so think just have to let my kid vent and listen and receive it without necessarily understanding it all! I mean without fully understanding the kid's perspective.

OK--off to enjoy the day.

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