2022-12-09 - 3:14 p.m.

CRAP

So the office is closed I was referred to.
They must be taking a long weekend. OR there is no receptionist/secretary to take calls while the doctor's are working.

Like EVERYWHERE else short staffed.

That is the real kicker not yet landing a job in my field. There are SO many jobs open that need to be filled.

ADHD moment of the day.

The meeting/ regulatory update from SBA actually that I was asked to attend is not today.

It is NEXT week.

I swear I do not know how my ADHD brain does that. I was so excited to attend. I logged in and was waiting and at five after figured out it was not happening.

ADHD sucks.

Its like once in the room
I ROCK

but getting there... is such a fucking struggle.

Such a disconnect between my organizing, executive functioning skills AND

my stellar analytic and reasoning and in person SOFT skills - of active listening, and empathy and temperence

I heard it again last night

"You are so chill ! I did not expect you to say you have six kids"

I mean everyone expects neurotic with a large family and single mom. I am only seemingly neurotic when I WRITE and vent

and at home at certain times...
like when searching for keys
(OH yeah I finally have THREE SETS of car keys to no longer have to do that ALL THE TIME!! )

or my cell phone...etc.

I really benefitted from a dedicated work phone. It had the one spot it was kept and I only used it during working hrs. It was so helpful.

If I lost my personal cell phone since I was lugging it all about the house ( I mean I can lose the damn thing IN The house and not find it for days!)- it was ZERO stress as any actual time critical calls ( meaning work and only work - only related to livlihood!) would not be missed.

And I suppose that shows how I prioritize work

Cause I feel like HAVE TO

cause when neurodivergent it really does take a ton MORE effort I think- unnatural effort to find ways to navigate these challenges and be successful.

SIGH

I wish now I HAD called and gotten the address for the party. I would have perhaps been there and stepped out to log into the meeting to find it was not on and gone back to socializing with the super nice folks I have worked with for seven years.

But I did not...

AND instead thought for sure would get my appt scheduled. Figured they were busy but it did not occur to me this Friday no one would be there at all past noon. Ce la vie..

I just want to know if I have to get a referral to go elsewhere! I might ask the Dr. To write a script for me to go elsewhere anyway!!
SIGH.

Well... I might as well show up at the local group gathering to protest another freaking hate speech incident in my town. YEAH this shit has got to stop.
Will go join the tail end. Only reason I did not plan to be there is that I though I had the work commitment made prior and told a CEO I would attend on a company's behalf.
Yeah may as well show up. Punk teens need to know that we adults are paying attention and their anti semitism is not to be accepted as OK.

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