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2022-12-26 - 6:02 p.m.

DAMN... so close
I have to say the VEC site is loading so much faster!
That might be cause none of the teens are here using up bandwidth.
But it was 5:10 pm when finally did log in today, sheesh! Cause heck I had to stop and EAT lunch. Then I felt compelled to do the actual work that came in. I know I said I was NOT going to do that but it is a literal compulsive need for me to not have worry of not delivering soon. I know anxiety driven and silly but hell it just makes me FEEL So much better to flip the work right back when can. Then when logged in I had to go downstairs to my desk to find the VEC folder with info needed; but got bumped as took too long on account of discovery that after lunch the dog POOPED in the house! (AH DAMN this is a risk when it gets super cold out or raining! My fault I did not take her for a walk early enough after eating. She won't ASK me in the winter- I have to take her and then she does her business outside but if left to her she will try not to have to go out!)

So that distraction and priority got in the way of the VEC site completion today.

I ALMOST got through the re-activating claim questions but then hit that 6pm wall and got bumped for "system maintenance"

That is the message you get at 6pm sharp.

to re-opening the claim.

There is a frustrating incongruence.

When filing for unemployment
you have to report hours worked in the WEEK WORKED
not in the week paid for them

Now at some point I think I put in what I expect will be the billable rate my company is billing me out for.

NOW even though I own the company. NOW I too have the corporate costs and overhead.
I did not yet run the numbers ( I need to put alot of hours into my business this week actually to do this- run the numbers; file the end of year taxes; balance MY BOOKS - oh yeah the bookkeeping done FIRST and then FILE The taxes.

BUT once all done
This year I know I will be in the red.
I mean I know the expense are higher than accounts receivable through DEC.
Because I only got ONE account receivable
The initial $600 from my old company.

And that covered part of the business insurance. Adobe license, small part of the start up advertising of web design.

I mean what the hell

NO way I can report income yet.

I don't even really KNOW what the hourly rate is going to be when I pull a DRAW From the LLC officially which I expect will be in March or April at best.

I hope to be profitable and be able to be paid then.

NOW companies that are just starting DO pay employees before profitable. BUT that is when they have ANGEL INVESTORS who can absorb such Risk.

Don't you get it? IF you are SELF FUNDING
without capital
then your LABOR is your initial investment! In other words YOU WORK FOR FREE

along with your actual Initial own MONEY you are PAYING for start up costs.

SO maybe I should run the numbers and report the wages per hour as the negative. Maybe that will get them to understand my honesty?

I can try that. Run my budget and numbers tomorrow and come up with the ACTUALS of how much it is actually costing me to WORK at this business for EVERY HOUR Of business development and contract review I am doing at this point.

OMG that is tiring to even think about but perhaps I can run those numbers and get that project done first then try the VEC again tomorrow.

They just still must think there is something I am not reporting when I report INCOME: ZERO
hours worked 5 to 10 a week for my company.

Its like they don't know how start ups actually work in the real world.

Most are folks MOONLIGHTING while have either 1) Other income or 2) Someone else supporting them.

My PASSIVE income of my tenant is such other income that is allowing me to do this work with my own company.

OK enough of VEC venting as I know it is freaking boring.

I am just TRYING as I think it was something like $330 dollars a week eligible based on last income from the job lost?

And I am earning about $199 every two weeks - (based on recent paycheck.) I mean that is 12 hrs - about right.

So $100 a week for my NORMAL 6 hrs on avg. Sure it kicked up as I pick up all I can but then report ACTUALS each week.

So some weeks yes it is ZERO then in unemployment.

But for those weeks I don't have OTHER hours and have not yet started client work ( Which honestly only started to be regular as in work coming in- IN NOV)

EVEN IF I lose the argument that if paid it is not salary- that would STILL NOT change the fact that I meet definition of unemployed and should be paid that different- about $200 a week, from July through October!

That would be a good bit of money which if it comes in I can PAY BACK to the family ( who honestly I now have a tab of about 7K I think? I paid a bit back to one. $10 K if I pay back MY DAD who I think really intended to gift me with the $1000 he sent on a few occasions.

My Dad, a brother, and my working adult kids who don't live with me have all helped out.
My Dad kinda thinks those kids SHOULD Be helping out and not expect to be loaning me money. In his view I think he can't understand why it would ever be considered a loan. I have no issue paying them back and am grateful for the loan.
It is just funny how the world is so very different.
I mean both my parents were in familes with an alcoholic father. One had a mother who got divorced and was proud to be a working lady raising her kids alone. The other remained married but honestly never worked to my understanding in paid jobs outside the home however was running a farm and raised 11 kids! I mean think of that. ELEVEN kids. OF the eleven some of them worked to help support the family
INCLUDING my mother who at 18 was the youngest clerk of the court ever in the state of Ohio.
She landed that job and did not go to college.

And was bitter about that not going to college as she got scholarships and her brothers were all invested in to go to school while she as a capable single woman was expected to stay home to take care of her mother as her mother aged. (Brothers who in her mind, as much as she loved them, were not all the sharpest...not the best students.)
there were other gals in her family too but they were not expected to do that- it was like my mom had her role in the family to stay home with mother.
She accepted it yet resented it.

CE la vie..
But in any case she worked to pay the household bills when young. ( She got married at 30, which back then was considered late. So because he did not go out and date and look for a man she was the one to be home taking care of her mother. I think she resented that too- that her wild sister (one was pretty wild) was given such freedom. So I initially was thinking my Mom too would be appalled at the differences in young adults today not only not being independent but not making that shift to care for their parents which in her generation happened earlier for her and my Dad.

BUT I am aware that is simply perhaps a dysfunctional family result of BOTH the Fathers in both those families having been alcoholics!

They could not capably provide after a point cause their alcoholism advanced.

This is interesting to me.
For a number of reasons- but I am going to leave it at that for now.

AND I am GRATEFUL For the support and help.

BUT yes I don't see any OBLIGATION of my children who are now starting out on their own independent lives to EXPECT them to be supporting me!!

I DO Expect them to learn work ethic and contribute to this household as adults if they are to remain here.

But the question for me is when it is the appropriate time to make that reality a mandate for them.

It has to be a realistic mandate they can meet.
OR there has to be VALUE in their failure if they try and fail.

Not disaster and some result that would be harmful.

So that is what I am trying to parse out. When tough love is the thing needed to kick my kids into gear and when it is best to give them space to figure it out.

OK on that note- So I ALMOST got VEC done. FAILED
Not walking to the other local business tomorrow. Tomorrow I won't write all AM ( I just needed that rest today! I mean it is so restful and relaxing and what I do when need to recharge.)

Tomorrow I will wake and do the VEC FIRST!! YES Just get the ugly task done.
Today my workaholism kicked in and even thought I TRIED
because I had actual client work ( Which damn won't be paid for YET EVEN IF INVOICE For it in JAN!!! VEC are idiots to not get this reality. It is not fucking gaming any system, It is basic MATH. FUCK more people are shitty at math than I realized!)

AND THEN I will take a nice walk with Bellatrix to visit the local business, where I have MORE FREE WORK TO DO.

This is the volunteer gig. Benefits the scholarship fund actually that the business association created, funded by items from the silent auction I attended which was marketing for my company. Opportunity to meet other companies and hope land PAID work eventually!

YES tomorrow morning I will do that! Bright and early as expect to wake REFRESHED.

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