Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2023-01-25 - 12:41 p.m.

I am at the point in my career where there are recruiters and lead HR folks hired into companies who are so young and new in their spaces that they are growing into them, and don't yet really understand what they need in a hire.


I mean it has happened before

"We are not interested, as need someone with IT contracts experience."

I mean if the buzz word for their checklist or their AI algorithm is not used, you get thrown out of consideration.

Twice in the past 24 hrs I was asked to revise my resume to include clarity of IT.

It was so ridiculous. Basically they had no idea what they were reading.

I did ask and tried not to be snarky: "Did the hiring manager actually READ my resume? I am unclear what part is not obviously in support of IT. Did he notice the contracts are all IT?"

I mean all for companies that design systems. Custom design of systems and back end support.
Did he not notice VERIZON Network Services for years on the resume?? Does he not get it that Verizon Network Services runs back end support?

Did they not understand that is IT?


I felt silly asking "Did they not understand what cloud services means? Or remote application management? or SDLC process?"

It is amazing to me.

They hire folks who are clueless to save a buck. This is why the LAST recruiter was so grateful at my patience and being KIND to her so she said she hopes I land an offer.


in her role of doing her best

but then later asking me to do some of the stupidest things to update my resume to get through the AI algorithms.

I was myself, literally the most patient person, losing my patience with the dumb asks she had of me to "update" my resume for clarity.

I mean really- I needed to add "Internet Technology" to systems design? The reader does not know what operations management is?

Operations Analyst was on my resume for a number of years. Analyzing contracts while on a deign team to ensure the system includes all the data points needed to be tracked.

It was astounding to me that the hiring manager seeking someone to manage contracts for a technology program would be that clueless and not understand what they were reading.

BUT, You have to play the game. I can only imagine the ANGER of other older folks ( men I think! HA HA.. oh she did say she got some of the rudest responses from guys who were upset at the feedback and ask for updating), who are out of work and have to deal with the young who are employed that lack such knowledge. It has to be absolutely infuriating to some of them. I get it!

They might not have the choice I have. To play the game. To pick up some fly heels for $10 at a thrift store and put on some makeup and color my roots.
I mean I can become more marketable with effort if I want to.

I have not chosen to play the game. Don't feel that desperate yet!

I also updated to cut out the prior 10 years of management experience so I don't LOOK OLD.
(Before I sent her the resume)

But the conversation with her was hilarious

as it was a simple contract analyst role. Less senior than MOST I would consider.

BUT it happens to be at a cool agency that does cool work in a city I have a couple friends in. I mean I don't have many friends so for a job in a place where one lives and another works ( one of my hiking buddies I have traveled with a few times.)

I mean my hiking gal friend I would LOVE to meet over lunch works at the same place.

That is a kudo if I have to ever commute. She also lives in the area. I have met her out for bubble tea ( my invite when work brought me there once in past for a project). More often I had to politely decline her invites as I had family obligations.

I mean she and the other hiker that she and I travelled with went of to freaking Iceland! Sorry I couldn't make it...

and Norway I think.. .

I forget.

This is the group we all last talked of planning a trip to Vancouver.

I should hit them all up and plan it ONCE I GET A JOB and income and catch up! YES that will be the next thing on my bucket list after visiting my Dad and family in Fl.

(If they all have not made it to Vancouver by now! I mean if you say NO consistently to invites you do stop getting invited. They know I can't travel yet... SIGH....)

But I digress.

It was just laughable to me how I had already dumbed down my resume to an extent... I mean removed signs of age...

Used the later graduation date ( due to the College holding one diploma til the outstanding library fine at SUNY Stonybrook of .50 was paid so only then would SUNY Stonybrook send the transcript of the one class taken as a visiting student transferred up to my college for the dual degree to be issued. My BA was issued but YEARS LATER when I finally paid that fine , the transcript got sent and then I randomly got this invite to graduation! HA HA I was issued the SECOND degree!! So funny. It just makes me look a little bit younger.)

So my most recent resume cuts off a whole 10 years.

This helps in the job market, along with hair dye of grey roots, not talking too much so it is clear I am older...
Not dressing completely non hip

I mean I really should look at what trends are and maybe just suck it up and go shopping if I ever have an IN PERSON interview.

Those dumb things matter when trying to get hired.

My friend at work ( cook at the part time job) tells me it also matters AFTER being hired. He might be correct. He thinks I should KEEP dying my hair and not wait til have an important meeting if I ever have a job that requires me to go in office again. TRUE...

I mean have to look the part ALL THE TIME.

I did let the grey come in..
and truth be told honestly think that is one of the stupidest things to affect how one perceived in a workplace YET IT DOES MATTER

It is such BS.

I swear that CEO liked me best when I first started working at the last gig ( in person).
and when I let the hair go etc..and was not dressing up as much...etc....
well his trust in me diminished.

It is so freaking obvious when there is misogyny in a male leader. To blame WOMEN and say they are leveraging their looks is absolutely BULLSHIT but truth is MEN tend to favor good looking women in the workplace.

It is a SKILL to leverage that if you have it.

I hate playing such games so go through periods where I don't.

BUT WHEN find self not having enough work then find self thinking

FUCK I have to play the fucking misogynistic game

If I can look hot
I get hired if it is a male decisionier.
If I can look LIKE The women are familiar with ,
I can get hired as they are comfortable.

It is so fucking fundamental.

Sure I can look hot when put effort into it, or look familiar and comfortable to the women hiring.

But it is so fucked up that it is not on MY TERMS when I feel like it for My own purposes
and that it is a fucking power move.

I mean I hate that.

I hate to have to play such games to have an edge in the courting and choosing process of job hunting.

It feels just like fucking dating. Who can impress and get the commitment...

and is so surface.

That is obvious when the hiring managers don't even understand the space they are hiring for.

They were hired based on how they presented and looked and impressed rather than substance of their knowledge, experience and capability.

So damn it does not make me WANT to work for that company in that space.

They are just the middle man. That job would be less pay than I can get, working for someone else, to have them get a cut and have me placed on a contract as THEIR labor to fill a spot on a contract.

Hell I only applied cause of where it is located. A cool place doing cool things that they hope to be the middle man in placing me at ( or not. There is another 2nd tier agency ALSO Hoping to make money of this. I mean it seems to me like that is why the pay is bad. I call it bad and am not really interested. But hell need to keep applying to anything that is a good fit. This job is paying less than I want but more than NOT HAVING A JOB so figured what the hell. Once I hold out for about six months only looking at certain salary and roles if not yet hired it is time to broaden my criteria. CAUSE I AM OLD. That is the reality-- older workers do have to learn to compromise... cause there is old fashioned agism and when you hit the point where the ones doing the hiring as managers are newbies in a space that are clueless- its a sign the companies just don't want to pay for quality and knowledge.)

But I am not impressed.

Hard pass.

Not interested...
also as found it does not offer benefits. No go then. I mean if it had benefits and health insurance for my family then maybe.

I am sure I will eventually find something closer with benefits and as good as I had it before.

I have to keep focusing and looking for that. Part time 20 hrs a week with benefits would be kicking great. Last time I had the 401 K but not health insurance. The company REALLY NEEDED ME. MAYBE this time around I will find something even better if keep looking.

I mean they had a precarious contract with a sticky negotiation going downhill they were afraid would be imploding.

It did not.
I KNOW I did great work and smoothed it over and saved the deal. I cleaned up their internal processes, and systems, closed another big deal that will give them great revenue stream for the next 5 years. Then they did not NEED me anymore.

I have to keep looking. Someone out there NEEDS my help and understands the value in paying for what I can do for them. Someone out there actually NEEDS the knowledge I offer.

I should just be patient. The work will come.

Its a rainy afternoon. I think I will head over to the local company I owe the volunteer time to check in and see if the owner there is ready to have me look at his docs. He did say come in the last week of January.

I should have stopped in Monday truth be told.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!

Visited art studio after rehearsal today. - 2023-01-28


AH I can set an alarm and not be afraid to DO OTHER THINGS! HA HA This is not fundamental to the ADHD brain - 2023-01-26


OK I also did fix the plumbing issue in my toilet this week. That is something accomplished! (Was not flushing! Needed new flush handle/arm and flapper) - 2023-01-26


Today was spent WAITING to get the surgery scheduled. Just needed to be HERE to get it done once could. - 2023-01-25


Almost forgot I have a writing class signed up for. Just not into it at this time- but will go. - 2023-01-25