2023-01-31 - 1:27 p.m.

Perspective

It may be a challenge to have kids with health issues
BUT

I feel very fortunate

I mean I was chatting with the young father who had the misfortunate Fb horror this AM, as I wait here on my tax return submission ( I had to resubmit... oops... PIN wrong...rejected .. fixed, I think)

and I can't imagine what it would be like to be the PARENT , HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD provider to be the one that is suddenly disabled and can't work.

He has been battling aggressive colan cancer.

Rounds of chemo the past year. Did not completely work and he needs another surgery ( had one already) to try to remove remaining cancer.

His wife and he had BOTH been working. Then she had some health issues herself a few years ago and was staying home as raising their three boys as the sole provider the past 4 or so years , when Pre Covid he lost his job.

I forget the circumstances. I just know that he got fired. I think something was up
not sure if it was health issues or if he screwed up

He was a hard worker when I knew him

She was as well.
I knew she was struggling at times with depression. But he was always a hard worker.

I kinda recall hearing the manager of facilities bitch about the time he was taking off. I think he was taking off cause he was sick. Maybe he screwed up and did not call out.
Maybe it was not a fair firing

Cause I tell you when I worked FOR YEARS with both these freaking low wage workers- one a care provider and one a maintenance guy. ( She was a CNA and met him when she moved into a new apt and he was the maintenance guy there. They fell in love and soon got married and he got a better job working maintenance at the assisted living place she worked at.)

I mean all was GOOD with them for quite a while; until it wasn't.

And truth be told I think they just fell victim of shitty circumstances and honestly I think they were the good people in the moment of someone else's drama and had the short end of the stick.

His WIFE was BESTIES with another CNA that had some addiction issues. She stopped hanging with her. They were besties for YEARS - like grew up together. She tried to not abandon her friend but also tried to separate from what she did not want to be a part of.

And I watched another gal get hired ( friends in the circle with the other user- who created drama. It was like these two gals were working there and the one KNEW they were bad news but tried to just stay out of it.)

I worry she, who was a great worker got fired perhaps for just NOT REPORTING the issues of the other?

BUT when it came down it seemed even uglier. I am only part time so caught snippets
but from what I could gather it seemed self protectionist from the bad apples
in destroying this genuinely good hard working honest person. I don't think she has any of the addiction problems of the other two.

So when it went down
both those gals got fired. It was some crazy drama. Like the one relatively new hire SLASHED the tires on the car of this young wife.

In the parking lot
and they both got fired.

I recall being so sad for this one gal. I mean I had visited and gone out with her once when she was really struggling with depression to encourage her. And I tried to be supportive as she just needed new friends when her old ones were breaking her heart with their lifestyle choices

which maybe she was part of in pas and grew out of
or maybe never a part of

I have no clue

BUT I know whatever happened she was this genuinely good person making sound choices for her kids and being a hard working responsible mother.

The real tragedy is she got fired and she was a terrific caretaker. Then they did what they could to fire her husband

and honestly I don't think they were troublemakers in the least. I think the long term friendship with the one who soon enough got exposes as STEALING

YUP they caught her

She was an addict

I think she stole oxycontin from a patient and thankfully was busted.

But its like AFTER an action is taken folks are not going to say "OH - oops we made a mistake. We got rid of the wrong people. "

EVEN after the truth of who was the bad apple emerged.

And that gal TOO was honestly at one point one of the BEST CNAs I ever saw at work. I mean she was so good at HER job BUT somehow, and I can't understand what leads anyone to this .... but it is an illness
she was overcome by her addiction.

It was tragic enough when she got fired and her issues were apparent. Her SON was also this remarkable young man who worked along with her ALL Through high school! HE WAS SO UNIQUE and responsible and kind and such a freaking hard working kid. I had been trying to find any information on scholarships to help encourage him to apply to college. He was interested. Deadlines were just past before I found some programs. He was going to try the next year. He was motivated.
He was bright. He played football in H.S. and kept his grades up while working nearly full time. He was not saving money as he was helping his mom support the household and care for a nine year old sister.

The HIS mom got caught up in her addiction. She got fired. She got arrested for stealing from a WalMart ( electronics- surely to sell)
and she posted going to support groups and Narcotics Anonymous and was publicly trying to battle her own addiction. There was a shift from denial to seeking help ( after her being fired/ arrested and exposed.)
There was effort
until she used again

and died of a heroin overdoes.

This lady who I watched provide beautiful end of life care to MANY older folks. Who for years was gentle and caring and fully present. I saw the shift in her demeanor and work in that year she started to spiral.

It hits so hard when you have KNOWN someone and saw their good and saw a difference when they hit the demon of addiction.

Her death hit me hard in heartbreak for her kids. Especially for her son who was on the CUSP of moving on and up into life different by opening up possibilities of better paying jobs with more education in time. I mean he is so capable.

He is working a job somewhere local. Grieved the death of his mother and keeping on.

And the other young couple, the gal who was her very best friend that grieved the loss of their friendship due to the rifts that I think the drug use brough a couple years earlier-
had the fall out of losing her job I think due to the craziness (when there was the other user- the bad new gal hired for all of a month perhaps. It was ridiculous drama)

So I can pray for this young family and perhaps stop by to support and see if there is anything I can do to help out as they are getting through this chapter. There is a community of friends she has in the moms of the kids at the school and in the neighborhood but I will swing by to just visit and catch up and see if there is anything they might need I can help with.

I remember one family loved this gal as the caretaker of their mother so much. She told me after they were both fired-her and her husband , that family has been steadfast friends and continue to reach out. Even after THEIR mother passed. They will never forget the YEARS of wonderful care and love that this gal gave their mother. The old lady was like grandma to her little boys. Those babies, then toddlers gave that old lady such joy as back then ( about 5-7 years ago) the executive director welcomed staff to bring kids to visit at work. Every holiday party the staff brought kids. There were a couple single moms who brought their kids to work and it was welcomed. There were places that had toys and kids DVDs and staff never minded the kids there! Older preteens/teens would volunteer. My kids came with me on weekends when they were in middle school and played games with the older folks. Some still ask about my kids! They appreciated their company.

There was a new Executive Director who is great- who likely is following company rules to reduce risk and nixed kids coming to work with staff.

But truth be told I feel like it added alot to the lives of the older residents AND it enabled folks who had problem finding child care be able to work.

BUS Drivers here for years could take their kids on their bus runs. It was just a decision by the county to be able to fill those jobs- to accept that risk. It enabled many a single mom to be able to have a job. So many drivers were single moms.

COVID changes folks risk tolerance levels.

It would be nice if some went back to not being as risk adverse in many respects I think. We have labor shortages and they are exasperated by less workplaces that support single parents being able to work because they can just bring the kids along.

I just hope this young mother and her boys are doing ok, as her hubby is battling cancer. Hope he makes it through. Its been a long ordeal for them all.

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