2023-02-20 - 1:08 p.m.
I hustled and got my whole house cleaned. It felt so great to get done!
OOPS I did the DUMB thing of NOT reading the label. Apparently I also had not fully rinsed all that comet away
and basically created mustard gas ( or some toxic fume) similar
In the bathroom that has a broken fan ( so poor ventilation)
I did open bedroom windows of the nearby bedrooms in hope of air ciculation- but not until AFTER I had sprayed the tub perimeter.
I did not think I lingered too long. I mean I left, let it sit to do its thing, Then came back and rinsed
BUT it was making me cough and stunk
AND afterwards I was having breathing constriction, a bit of asthma ( not bad- not excessive and I am used to that so again I was not thinking much of it)
SO YES this is THE ADHD MOMENT OF THE WEEK
and this is a PSA to freaking READ your CLEANING LABELS to know the chemical compouds.
I KNOW THIS
I heard a quote, or rather read a quote on line- ah just recalled where, a Tweet from an self proclaimed ADHD twitter user who discussed ADHD that read "I know what I should do but don't do it; and I know what I should not do and do it." YUP some are more challenged with that pattern in life than others with ADHD but it still resonates with ALL who have ADHD. (We all know procrastination at the very least.)
I also was rushing as trying to get it done and be ready on time for a planned date ( Re-planned really. I was going to head to my guy friend's new apt on Friday to enjoy the whole weekend. Kink in the plans so then was meeting him for dinner Sat instead.)
I mean he did want to eat dinner at a reasonable hour!
It was quite a day. I had stayed up til 4:30AM to pull all the laundry and get it all in the car.
I did call and was pleased my guy was agreeable to me arriving at 8pm rather than 6pm. That was what I needed to get it done.
I had been about to leave when my dog actually go ATTACKED by a neighbor's dog!!
It was quite startling to hear Bellatrix screeching and hear the neighbor's dog that had come lunging at her and was attached to her as I ran outside. Bellatrix had been tied up on the front porch as it was sunny day and that is one of her favorite spots.
So I brought her in and consolded her and felt her coat and saw no blood and thought she was just startled and traumatized. I sat and cuddled then did a little bit of care for her in brushing her teeth. I thought if there was any laceration I did not see I did not want her to possibly have any small open sore I could not see and have her lick it clean with a bacteria filled dirty mouth.
Obviously care of her took priority so my schedule off.
I came back from the laundomat and both tenant and dog were alsleep in the basement. I have a strict philosophy of letting sleepers rest! ESPECIALLY if they don't feel well!! At that point it was clear they were down for the night!
So I went off and got there just after 8 ( 8:10 precisely!) A bit of confusion on my part of how I was supposed to get into the garage. I forgot my guy said something about pulling over on the side street... oh yeah I think it came back to me NOW which is funny now that I think about it. That evening I had no thought of anything other than showing up and driving in his parking garage and parking but of course there is gatekeeper for safety of residents- and the garage has a key card access point. I didn't really think about that and when pulled up just announced myself to the guy who answered and said I was a guest , named my friend and asked if I could be let in as my friend said use his parking spot. I got buzzed in. Of couse I had not realized then that I didn't REALLY know where his spot is. I THOUGHT I did but when I drove where I thought it was- well the car marker (ugly car next to his) Was not there. (I mean another car a bad marker cause you know that person might want to drive somewhere sometime when I arrive!)
But all the levels looked the same, and then I finally figured just grab any spot, go in and can move the car after meeting my friend and finding out HIS actual spot.
I then realized can't GET INTO the apt complex from the garage without a key card ( OF COURSE)
I just did not really notice all those details when I was not the one driving on the one occassion prior being there when assisting with the move of his things the day he moved in. The last time I saw him was that weekend when helped him, along with his bestie who joined us the next day for the final stretch of moving stuff, cleaning out the old fridge etc. She had been helping him for days prior to my help that final day of the move.
OH yeah I now recall that in a split second of paranoia I had not trusting why there was seeming micromanaging of the details of how I get there and park... HA HA
I think I captured that. TOTALLY IRRATIONAL PARANOIA
Understand those thoughts happen so quickly for me
It makes sense upon hindsight ( honestly in the moment of driving into the garage I had forgotten about the small moment of paranoia after he had been very detailed on the phone about where to go... I mean he gets very detailed and give instructions and I get triggered if they are unnecessary and could be evidence of a controller's mind at work EVEN THOUGH that is not necessarily the case.. I didn't think about it again after experiencing and capturing it until now)
SO there I was stuck. He of couse met me and we came back out to move the car to his actual spot.
AND he tends to ACTUALLY be controlling at times... not intentionally... but there are moments, triggered by his own anxiety and a bit of perfectionism, a bit of OCD TYPE behavior I know well...have seen in others. Not a big red flag as it all depends on how one manages it, but yet there are some small red flags.
**AH Shit I just had a BLIP of what looked like a screen capture. I am NOT working.
I did a bit earlier but I did not log off their system. I also just got a NEW computer to set up for work use exclusively
This is my business computer. My personal one died. I own my own company and so for this work for my clients am not on their systems. I am not doing anything on anything other than MY TIME HERE on my computer
BUT I did log into their sharepoint and I suppose I should have been careful to log out and NOT monitor their email while taking the break to jounal and talk of my dog.
CAUSE if for some reason they have tech to take screen capture of every device on their network
Well not only am I not masking I am not fully disclosing detail of my own mental illness.
I know what a sceen capture looks like.
That should be only happening on MY DEVICE when I initiate it.
I should know better.
TOO LATE for today!
Sloppy on my part. And I am never sloppy when on OTHER's systems
It is a sharepoint. I have nothing on this machine anyone could access of OTHER PEOPLES info.
I don't save files on my machine.
OK just a distraction and hope that is not what the BLINK Of my screen was. (I know better... but can pretend it was just some random flash of my screen ane not important.)
AND next time close ALL OTHER WINDOWS before I journal! Journaling BEFORE Work is the BETTER practice than working and taking a break to then journal.
** Back to my story of the weekend
SO I was happy guy agreed to 8pm date rather than 6pm and pleased I could then proceed with plan to go to the laundromat after my dog seemed OK ( in the moment she seemed OK! She had calmed down was wagging tail happily and relaxed.) In the conversation he made suggestions I agreed to, thinking they sounded like a good plan but immidately hung up and realized hell, I DID have enough time to get it done and that was going to serve me best to just go wash the clothes then fold them them later. He reminds me of the Buffalo guy in planning. I can't just say "Can I meet you at 8 instead of 6" but have a converation. I am agreeable. I make a plan. But the thing is ultimately what mattters is I am on time as agreed. So as soon as got off the phone I realized the plan I agreed to ( as my plan was not being well recieved) about how to use my time before the date was not going to serve me but the agreeing to the plan discussed DID serve the purpose of my DATE not being anxious.
So I left knowing my tenant likes her company and said that was OK and knowing that she would go outback with her ( which is her routine! I typically give an evening longer walk, my tenant also likes to go outside for a bit so sometimes the dog does go our twice each evening.) So I figured- keep my date.
We did have a really lovely eveing. Walked to a nice Italian restaraunt and frankly I had one of the most delicous meals in ages. I ordered a mushroom nocci and I tell you when I read the description I just knew the sauce would be a work of art. I was not disappointed ! It was EXQUISITE Flavor with truffle oil over mushrooms. ( I did not know variety but delicious. I forgot to ask. Not morills, those are not yet in season... but lovely brown mushrooms. Certainly not button or the standard grocery store variety.)
This detail is actually important!
Because it was after I left and was driving, I mean once I SLOWED DOWN my body ( driving I was sitting and not in constant motion which I had been in upon waking!), I was more aware of the discomfort in my body - the constriction of my breathing a bit. I had used my inhaler before I left ( yeah the expired one. I used it heavily just in case it had reduced effectiveness and that helped).
I thought about it and realized MILK is what you are supposed to drink if exposed to acidic chemical burn so I recalled.
So we went to dinner and I afterward I had some stomach pains. I thought at first it was gas pains ( maybe it was) from the delicious papusa I ordered from the place next to the laundromat. After wash is in being cleaned I ordered the papusa then went to move the laundry to the dryer and came back to eat it while the laundry dried. Timed it just PERFECT.I am still just blown away that I can get a delicious homemade papusa with a beverage for $4.50! And that they don't ask for tips or have a spot on the recipt for tips. The same lady is there all the time. I will make a point to take out cash one of these days and just hand her a $20 for the past times I came as she should be tipped I think even if it is counter service. She also brings it to the table for us when we have sat . (With kids with me its about $12 total Crazy! SO happy there is some place that is providing good food for people who are poor! Seriously they service the working poor Latino immigrant community mostly but that is where the best laundromat is in the area so I choose to go there, and for the Papusas! Heck they have my business now on account of that. It was the family time to go out and get something to eat when we did laundry. Heck some families eat out often but in mine we did on the laundry days! When younger the good NY Pizzaria near a differnt laundromat was the top choice because they also had cannolis.
I took an antiacid and the stomach pains did diminish. ( They were gastrointestinal and I think too soon AFTER eating- I mean they started actually when IN the restarunat just after eating.)
After the meal I also enjoyed a cannolli.
So I realized in hindsight when doing research that the pains were not necessarily from the beans in the papusa at 5pm. (Never had pains from that food before) BUT that after exposure to mustard gas or the other gasses that are created when bleach is mixed with an acid, one will get stomach and gastrointestinal pains along with the other symptoms I had for medium exposer within 12 to 24 hrs.
My vocal cords also at first were affected and I was worried that there was some damage and I hoped not- I mean I like to sing!
I do think the fact I picked a cream sauce with mushrooms was great! In hindsight mushrooms do have a known benefit of kicking in the immune system. They are really healthy. They are thought to promote healing. Not sure if true but hey if it is true that can't have hurt! So figure good choice. I did not drink milk but the cream sauce could not hurt, right?
I am feeling Ok. Just a bit of rawness still in the back of my thoat from the chemical burn
So essentially I posioned myself.
So yeah that takes the cake not only of ADHD Moment of the week but perhaps decade. I mean really bad ADHD moment!!
Futher reading explained that the lungs can get fluid in them after such exposure. I am feeling ok so paying attention. If I feel like this congestion gets worse and is not getting better I would go see a Dr. If it were emergency I would go to the ER but it is obviously not very acute as doing fine.
So no ER
I just drank TONS of water Saturday night. I did not know that water can activate the chemicals! (HA that is why they say drink milk). I had Oat Milk at home, ingredients are water and second ingredient CALCIUM ( some form) so I have been drinking that as well and tea with lots of honey for my throat.
Bella however has been lethargic, sleeping alot and no herself. So in looking her over really carefully when I got home I discovered scabbing over. Although hard to see, could feel the texture change of her skin under her fur to discover she had been bitten!
There is a large laceration of what looks like a puncture then bite down her left side - a two inch line, and then punctures below.
No wonder she is skittish! She likely is also in pain.
I called to make a vet appointment for her so she can get checked out as well as get an antibiotic.I called at 9AM but the walk in appointments for the day were gone; however they had a cancellation for Wed at noon so will get her in then which should be OK. I mean she has done OK since Sat resting and healing so figure will be OK a couple more and then can get an antibiotic and be sure maybe pain relief meds too.
I just could not consider going to the Animal Hospital! I know that is out of budget. If she were screaming in pain and in clear misery that choice might be different but yesterday she had gone for a walk and was perky and acted pretty normal but for the bit of favoring that leg and being obviuosly nervous as one would be after an attack! I had not yet found the laceration and punctures under her skin! I think it did not bleed much so was hard to detect until it scabbed over and then could feel the texture change with a bit of matting where it did bleed a tiny bit. I washed her with soap and water and applied neosporin on the wounds. So today I just brought her out to go to the bathroom and she did sit on the lawn a bit to get some sun but nixing the walk obviously! She needs to rest and be still to heal and hopefully there is a good report on Wednesday when the vet sees her in office.
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