2023-04-20 - 11:59 p.m.
I just figured it out.
I was FREAKING OUT
Basically the bratty not yet adulting person had ASKED me to borrow the car to go to an appointment.
This was some days ago ( last week)
Answer : "An appointment"
I actually first said "YES That time is good" but like 30 sec later said "But I will drive and drop you off."
The reason for that frankly was that I intended on having the YOUNGER kid- the 18 yr old with a learner's permit do the driving. Really just any excuse to have the younger one practice driving to get good at it.
(There are 40 hrs practice with a learner's permit in VA. I really thought my kids were the only one's who followed with PRECISION EVERY MINUTE of tracking practice time, but felt infinitely better when my friend said "Oh in our household we did that too! YES very seriously!" My friend looked appalled that I thought most people fudge or lie. I did say- "Well really I joke and say that I figure no one even read the small print and knew that requirement BUT MAYBE it is just ME as the ADHD mom. I mean we kinda joke about that as here I have SIX KIDS and it was not until the 4th that I was aware of the 40 hrs driving with permit requirement."
I mean seriously I did not know that prior to child #4 learning to drive! HECK My oldest two both learned on road trips. LONG road day trips-
Neither of those two drove much. I mean it was years that passed from when the first two got learners permits and then finally took the driver test to be licensed. They were CITY KIDS! They took public transportation and rode bikes everywhere. They walked miles when needed to hop on buses . No kidding... I remember each of them telling of their days, and my oldest often would say things like "I had a therapy appointment so took a nice walk for about 40 minutes..." either before or after catching a bus.... as the therapist she found happened to be located off the beaten path.
Heck my son rode a bike to then put the bike on the bus and rode the bus to go to another suburban town when he was a young HS (or late middle school ?) Student to get to a summer volunteer position where he was the Assistant Director and Assistant teacher in a summer drama program here in VA.
SO the difference of personality between those older ones and the younger ones is just VAST.
I worry about the younger ones, but the 4th out of the 5th the most due to the very fact that kid acts so ANGRY And acts so BITTER and has animosity towards me. I mean it is a clear attitude of "Fuck you , Leave me Alone " and "Mind your own business."
SO the fact that today the kid TOOK My CAR
BUT then WOULD NOT TELL ME WHERE GOING
I mean sure the 20 yr old is an adult. BUT
But has an actual set of keys
The kid basically STOLE ONE and is claiming it is "Their" key.
and went right outside and got in the car and turned it on. There I was outside the car talking through the closed window saying they were out of their damn mind to be so rude and impertinent. I was saying also
[ THAT WAS TRUE. IT was not planned prior to this AM- I DID FORGET about the kid's appointment when this AM had one of those funky ocular disturbances that has not happened to me in years! They used to happen with some frequency- YEARS AGO , along with the narcolepsy like idiopathic hypersomnia, and some hypoglycemic like instances and blood pressure drops and fainting-- all those symptoms which DISAPPEARED after the training for a marathon- weirdly yet almost miraculously, well felt like that in the descriptive way, not literally as felt more like I re-set my system somehow frankly! YUP the intense exercise CHANGED something! This makes sense to me regardless of cause being unknown and REASON that intense running suddenly kicked my system into WORKING More normally whereas it had not FOR YEARS - I mean LIKE EVER... unless that was correlation, and it was pre-menopause hormonal? NOT really sure... but if felt related to the running. I mean I still have not hit menopause... LATE onset of that so I can't imagine it was hormonal changes from that... Running seems to be it. I had this serious sleep disorder from youth on ! I mean I was sleeping during class in high school!
BUT my choices were to either to call the cops and report the stolen car
OR just wait and hour (a bit more ) for the kid to go to their therapy and then come home and address the issue of their behavior.
I just waited. Truth be told I am so used to this kid's nonsense that once the kid left just went right back to work and stayed focused on the contract I was working on to get as much of it done as possible when logged off with enough time to quickly hop on my bike ( the extra one here! The one I paid to get fixed!), and ride over to MY Doctor to get a quick check up.
ALL good- My doc thinks it was an ocular migrane. I don't get headaches when this happens but she said she has heard of that happening before SANS headaches. But the wavey lines of light and ocular distortion is a type of migraine, most often accompanied by headaches but occassionaly not . She was so quick- a nurse checked my blood sugar and it was fine. She checked BP and did a basic exam and told me to take folic acid, Vitamin B 12 and be diligent about my iorn supplement. She looked at all the recent lab work and I talked to her about the other health issues and she said that it is hard to even find an OB GYN right now.
She also asked if I have dry eyes and mentioned some particular drops that are good ( forget what those are but written down somewhere).
AND YES the kid did come right home.
I was taking my things out of my car to bring them into the house, and I had put my wallet and phone in the middle counsole.
And there in the counsole, right under my wallet and phone-
IS a HILTON HOTEL CARD
One of those ones from a hotel room.
And I was like
I mean what the hell
And was sure at first that was no damn therapy appointment .
Sure my kid is 20.
But it was the acting suspicious
That and the fact this kid has a plan to move cross coutry and the very reacent reality check and dissapointment that the college they got into on the west coast DID NOT give a penny of financial aid other than a couple thousand doallars in work study.
There is a $44 K difference in tuition and this kid says they are STILL Planning on moving to go to that college and will "Take out loans"
I have said
This kid acts like they are too disabled; too ill with their chronic ailments ( Which yes are real) to work ( and NO it is BS that can't work. That is in the kid's head for sure- and I say that as the whole rest of the damn family has the same ailments and the rest of us have worked ... I mean sure it is HARD but life is freaking hard and you just push through those moments- you can't GIVE UP
or some EASY MONEY
SO that was my FEAR
Fear of having some dead kid who did something stupid frankly.
Trafficking a real thing
and my kid has acted like I am paranoid ( in the past) when talked of being careful and not trusting folks you meet on line etc...
and the kids whole social world with few exceptions ( a couple HS friends thankfully they see once in a while)- IS ON LINE. DISCORD
I mean the worst nightmare of a parent possibly - is a kid disappearing as they go off with some rando
And I do have a good freind who buried her two beautiful daughters this year. I mean her kids were older- well same ages sorta as my oldest two. Drug Addiction and Alcohol Addiciton did them in.
I am not worried about drug usage but about doing soimething STUPID
But one never knows. I mean kids hide shit from their parents ALL THE TIME
BUT.... I actually did confront my kid
I asked "Is this yours? Did you leave this in my car?"
And they said "NO" and they said it is likely mine. They said "You just traveled to Buffalo"
I mean I was 99% SURE that my kid left that in my car. I was at that point thinking that was some BULLSHIT about going to a "therapy" appointment
til the kid said "It's not mine. But if it were it would be none of your business."
My kid is just like that ALL THE TIME-
But then I was seriously wracking my brain
thinking "Where did I see a HILTON key when it surprised me? Cause I was staying at a hotel but it was not a Hilton and I think the place had a Hilton logo on the door key card? "
I was trying to recall... but had that memory...
I had taken a pile of a FEW CARDS that were in the console. UNDER The hotel card- to make me more convinced something was awry
They were other seemingly random, old cards that were definitely mine under those two: A couple of my own business cards ( sure makes sense to have those there! If I need to hand one out!), Card from the Hearing Specialist I recently called to make an a follow up appointment for the other kid, An artist teacher who taught a painting class I attended at the public library about a month ago, Banker card handed to me when I was at the bank by a dude working there trying to sell business services, Card for local farm I bought produce from months ago, I mean back in late FALL, that hires neurodiverse ( cause this same 20 yr old saw an ad for a weekend job on a farm and seemed interested in a moment til realized hard to get there. It was weekends only which is why the kid was interested as felt can work part time- just not more than a couple days a week and the kid was interested as having grown up on a family farm the work is FAMILIAR. This made NO SENSE To me as there is the mantra not enough energy to work at the grocery store across the street. NO BUS there and I work every other weekend so transportation made that not a realistic job- it was 35 minutes in the other direction from where I work.)
So seeing those cards... then It hit me-
I mean I was convinced this man was some predator... but my kid being 20,,, an adult... hard to protect adult kids from stupidity...
THAT card DID get handed to me. WAY back when... I was getting quotes for the broken AC.
I think in typical fashion I returned one, but not both cards when my older kid and I went to NYC to see Hadestown on Jan 3rd.
FUCK I was ready to hire a Private Investigator and trail my kid, and was wracking my brain thinking 'Whose car can I borrow so next time there is an appointment I can scope out the two Hilton properties in the adjacent town to see if MY BORROWED CAR is in the lot?" ( REALLY Was thinking of this as an option if my kid were to start any unusual outings)
I mean that was where my brain was going. I was not going to let my kid be an idiot.
I think I likely pulled all these cards out of my wallet recently, or out of the glove compartment where they were shoved
the Hilton card which was given to me at the Millennium in NYC.
I figured out that she needs to practice driving in reverse. That will be the next driving practice I will take her on! I need to take her to the good, empty church parking lot that is good for practice and have her drive BACKWARDS- IN REVERSE for a good length of time. If she can circle backwards driving only in reverse for a long time I think she will get it!
Think when I had to pull out my insurance card I likely then uncovered all those random cards that I think had to have been stuffed in the glove compartment.
NOW I CAN SLEEP.
Oh- and my kid is going to therapy. That is good right?
I guess that explains why I felt compelled to write until 1:30 AM. YUP
It was the parking pass. I paid on Spotify and had to check in at the Arlington Concierge
MYSTERY REALLY SOLVED
Why can't fucking teens/young adults just be respectful?
NOW I can go to sleep. This kid is killing me with worry... cause they say they are going to move cross county without a plan; without money; it is stressing me
That and the one going off to ASIA who also seems clueless about the cost of housing.
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