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2023-04-28 - 8:13 a.m.

So my bestie in CA told me that she is FINALLY Feeling much better after years of chronic pain in her bones-

as discovered she was deficient in B12

and she has been getting B12 shots which make all the difference.

I just listened when talked to her; but found it interesting I just saw my primary Dr. who had just told me to pick up a B12 supplement.

I did go back to my main Dr. (After a General physical in the system I am navigating on the hunt for an OB GYN Surgeon to do a biopsy and remove the IUD. Not really all that eager to remove the IUD... but would be good to evaluate the funky weird extra tissue in my uterine lining, the constant bleeding - now it is just daily- not alot but a bit, maybe from cyst? Fibroids?)

Its wild to me that when imaging shows funky weird things the medical system is like AH no worries...

You already had kids...

so no concern.
Its normal as MANY WOMEN Get these odd growths of fibroids.

Super common so we are not gonna worry about it now unless kills you. I happen to be reading The Handmaid's Tale which is wild as it feels not that far off - a future where mutations due to the chemicals in our world, due to a spill from a crash of a rail train...are just accepted as the norm! (DAMN that was written about in that dystopian novel!) Where only women who are fertile and of child bearing age are really medically cared for- but not with any freedoms!)

The laisser-faire attitude of not being concerned that many women have fibroids seems to me the same as how now handling Coronavirus

AH yeah it could kill you; but as it is only killing SOME folks and less than it used to so we are not gonna worry about it anymore.

Makes sense from a public health perspective.

Just stinks if you are one of the few that end up with some health issue there is no PUBLIC HEALTH REASON To invest in treating. Society is not concerned and there is not ROI in your health care then after a certain age.

Such is life..

I am reading about COVID as have not done so in some time and am curious.

Turns out that my Buffalo guy caught Covid that weekend I visited and we were out and about.

He felt a bit silly afterwards I think as he gave me a hard time about my desire to wear a mask to the Springsteen concert.

I ended up not wearing it as I FORGOT it and we were already in the car. He reacted unkindly to my response at realizing I forgot it. He went off saying something obnoxious like "If I knew you were going to mask I would not have invited you."

Like it was an embarrassment to be seen with me if I was masking in public!


It totally reminded me of my mom telling the story of some asshole she had one date with that asked her as they were going to the movies "Do you have to wear your glasses"
To which she replied
"Yes if I am going to actually SEE the movie."

What an ass.
That was that first and last date she had with that jerk but she loved telling that story along with other bad date stories that made her proud of how she dodged bullets of jerks and held out in her small town until she met my father and married at Age 30.

When Buffalo guy does shit like that, I totally get how his Ex did call him controlling. How he worried about how HE Looked when with her. I have seen the moments.
That was one...

small one and he apologized for it. But the problem is the small moments add up. Enough to know I can handle a weekend but I do see how he would grate on nerves and how he DOES do things that are about control. Small things... but someone without control issues WOULD NOT make every decision of their partner a reflection of them, and would not be insecure to the point of trying to control their partner. I think it weird also how some folks seem to WANT someone in their life to be controlling with them as if that is their language of love. I think that is why I am so adamant at not taking on the role of mother perhaps to the point of not being enough of a helpful partner-
simply as I refuse to take on another's issues-
I mean be an adult.

Just the whole rescuer/enabler/savior dynamic... which for some turns into martyr gets so toxic quickly that I avoid any relationship with signs that could be a possibility.

No I would rather enjoy the company of flawed humans for shorter periods; and then be able to love them in their imperfection and leave and be in my quiet peaceful bubble I guess! HA HA

So yeah still happy avoiding drama of spending too much time with one person I suppose other than my family. I mean my kids are different. I am content here at home with them.
I don't want more. I guess I think of this as when on the phone with him he brings it up. Seeking my help- so I can do that and be a body double! Be the good friend... but to go further is not in my comfort zone. I see there would be control issues as I see them emerge over each weekend and I get it how those add up to big issues.

SO when he was reactive just at me saying "Oh wait, I forgot my mask! " As we were in the car... no actually we were GETTING IN THE CAR
and he got in the car and then I got in after him and I decided to let it be... I decided Maybe I was being more risk adverse than need be at this point in time. I thought "Well I am vaccinated."

The conflict was smoothed over because I did not insist on going back in the house to find my mask and I acquiesced. I compromised as I knew that we had floor seats in an OPEN arena

Sure lots of people
but a well ventilated space

BUT Also we were kinda up front and there was lots of open air circulating above us. I ALSO knew that I had a scarf with me- the shawl that I loved was worn and I could put it over my nose if felt needed. I had two shawls with me actually - layered as the one was the really special one I just wanted to wear and he of course had to tell me he liked the other better. I wore that one OVER the other as he recommended NOT bringing a large coat to the venue. He was right about that. We had to walk from where parked to catch the subway and I suspect it was THEN that when enclosed on the subway that was packed that he caught the bug to be honest.

I put the shawl over my nose and pressed my face into his back as we road the subway so I was protected the ride. I felt like holding my breath until we got outside frankly! I was not taking a risk on that packed ride where like sardines. I was very conscientious that was a hot box of germs!

I did mask when in public spaces other than that- for most part; but did not worry once we were in restaurants eating and I was socializing with the small group of friends I met, or when went to friend's houses. But I did mitigate risk like I am comfortable doing. Masked less than typical in a way- but then of course wore the mask in the airport at all times.

SO I have never caught Covid. Was just tested again for the new job starting.

At that healthcare facility they only lifed the mask mandate about two weeks ago.

It is now optional at that hospital. But the thing is I KNOW that just a month ago that facility had someone with covid. Maybe even three weeks ago?

CDC Protocol is now isolate for 5 days only.

That is a kinda short time

BUT fortunately with universal precautions at that skilled nursing facility I think they are doing a good job of not having it spead when anyone gets it.

It comes in as there are so many visitors.

I know they had it as three weeks ago the nurse was working at the assisted living I work at and bitching at how she doesn't understand idiots who would not mask when feeling slightly off even, or who won't just stay the fuck home when they know they been sick.

She is like how the fuck hard is it to quarantine for five days and stay home.

I just read , as never read this before, about the booster shot and why it is more effective than the original series folks got.

There are lots of articles out there. Only 20% of the population got that booster. That surprised me.
But I think I read 45% of folks 65 and older. That was the target population for the booster- old folks and immunocompromised.

I am just glad I got boosted and have never caught COVID.

I did not mask at my new job for training. I was one on one and learning. The folks working with were not masked.

I did not mask for about half of the first shift- but then I did put a mask on; as I am greeting LOTS Of folks. This is a busier place than the other where I work weekends.

The Assisted living I work at had this fabulous lady who used to work there who left and then went to work for this Healcare skilled nursing. We used to both work weekends and just worked together to cover the weekend shifts and she was super flexible and available. I am working with her AGAIN at the new place. So keeping BOTH jobs- and adding this onto the other.

I used to work every weekend then the Assisted living cut my hours as brought on a couple more folks to rotate and have less dependency.
Truth be told they did not like that this lady, who left to go elsewhere...

who is just a PRO - I mean YEARS Of full time service in this industry and understands rights inside and out

would point out some points of improvement.

She made them uncomfortable

She then went over the top and lost it on ocassion- not professional; not her best moment..
and it got tense.

I apprechiate her and get her perspective but she went about trying to improve a situation in the wrong way.

I get that
I have been that advocate who is so passionate that did not deliver an effective message. I empathize with her!
Her leadership ability failed in a moment ; and I get it... I have made the same mistake. You have to affect change carefully and respectfully

She tried but when that doesn't work then the loud advocate comes out to get shit done

And sure it works

It often does but there is a price to pay for that tactic

The martyrdom! HA HA

So she was a marytr.

I have no interest in being a martyr and sacrificing myself for change. I mean I end up inevitably not being silent is there is something I feel so strongly about that I can't let it be as well....

so I get it...

SO in any case, she and I are now working together again. I was hired in particular as she needed a few days off and they had a couple other part time people hired that were not very good at customer service. Just did not get it...

So I was recruited. Asked if wanted to work there on a Sunday and I interviewed Mon and started on Tuesday.
Paperwork being processed.

I am very pleased with this supplemental work. I really hoped one of my young adults would have been interested TOO as honeslty it is a great place for a first job! I thought one of the two might have wanted to come in and meet the office manager and also apply. BUT NO...

they both did not take me up on the offer to bring them in as well to meet her. I know they could both have persued it and it would have been SO GOOD for them. I ALSO know that BOTH Of them would have been better than the guy who was at the reception desk with ear buds in.

This is a much larger facility than the smaller assisted living. Because of that it is impossible to leave the desk and STILL see the front door. In the smaller place the design is such that I can deliver a package down a hall and SEE the front entrance as the building is super well designed with three halls which all meet in the middle circle of the entrance foyer. Halls like an inverted T with a semi circle really where those two lines cross. So I can walk and deliver things and then right next to the desk is the dining room, and in front of it a cafe and living room- and I can SEE both areas. SO when sitting at the desk there , the residents come by and interact and I meet them all and I can see what is going on in the dining room and the cafe and living rooms. AND there are the camera montiors so I am the one on security duty of watching all the entrances.

So there is more going on in that sense- of being attentive to surroundings and areas and more interaction with residents.
And in that place as it is Assisted living there are no phone lines monitored by the facility in each resident apt. They handle that themselves.

The new place is really a hospital setting, of skilled nursing facilty- where folks go for rehab after leaving the hospital for ongoing care. Some long term and some to get what services are needed til go back home to either family or their assisted living apts.

It has a switchboard and there are SO MANY more lines! In the smaller Assisted Living I route just a few calls but take messages for the small admin staff. It is a MUCH smaller facility. Just the level of care required is what makes such a difference as the more care a person needs the more involved with regulation and insurance etc..etc... more care providers- of doctors and therapists etc.

So the phone system took a minute to learn- thankfully only a minute ! HA HA

Cause that was all I had. I got hands on training for about 2 hrs with the full time gal and then I was on my own the first night.

Then the next morning I came in and had the official training for the facility; then worked that night.

It is very different as the residents are behind a locked door just like a hospital. The entry point if much further from them- more industrial in design which of course provides greater safety in a way. The building, like a hospital, designed with that intentional separation in mind I think.

Whereas the other is more like a home.
Designed to be residential looking, homey.

But in both places the family coming in are managing the emotions of their loved ones being chronically ill and some just need a listening ear.

I mean the #1 skill is to be good at customer service and be a good listener with healthy boundaries of respecting privacy.

I already have heard some stories. Been there three evenings and had some wonderful conversations. I LOVE hearing the stories of families as they talk of their loved ones .That is really the best part of the job- either residents themselves ( in the one place) telling stories of their lives; of their selves; OR the family telling stories of their beloved who are now being cared for by others.

Yes, that is the best part. And that is why I so enjoy this work and was happy to say "YES I will do it" when asked. Oh and to add, to circle back to the B 12- So this AM I got a reminder and prompt to go fill out some paperwork for the new OB/GYN who is in the system of my insurance to see if can make progress on that issue being actually tended to. I thought to check the blood test for my B12 Its about 400 NO idea what that means but a quick google is borderline deficient. Now that test and another that did show one part of iron still low- although overall better; are the reasons MY Dr. When reading the charts also told me to take folic acid. What struck me is the first Nurse Practitioner who ordered and read those labs said nothing about that. She just said "Alls good" I swear she glanced at the results and did not read carefully. The other thing I noticed she had no concern about was very low. My Doctor did a better job of reading very carefully ( she took her time in front of me too.) I mean just a better doctor overall I think. She also told me a specific eye drop to use after asking me if I was experiencing dry eye. So I feel like she just pays more attention and was glad to get back to see her the day of the ocular migraine. I happened to then have an actual migraine days later! It did resolve in a couple days. I just took aleve and drank lots of water. Again it might have been related to lack of caffeine! (Figured that out again! I did have headache before when did not have coffee but this was a totally different thing- the migraine.) Who knows- I was worried early Covid symptom? so was pleased when I had to get Covid tested and that was negative and that the migraine is gone.

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