2023-05-16 - 11:08 a.m.

Maybe being a perfectionist. I could draft a subK for a client without first chasing down an existing agreement but I won't.

Patience....

One must exist in someone's email ( other than client's) that did not get filed.

This happens. With small companies it is common.

So I am waiting. It's most often an agreement in the CEOs email.

Yup

A small company that started off with a person and that has successfully grown.

The early and dependable partners often even have old fashioned " Gentleman's Agreements" in spaces with actual trust.

I find this refreshing.
Restores my faith in humanity actually. 😆

Folks who just shake hands, do good work, send an invoice and get paid.

Wow

They are still out there ( and not just handymen).

Sigh....I feel badly at one level educating those with such trust about need for business insurance. I feel like Insurance in a whole that was INVENTED to support the Crooked on so many levels...

Yet

As my business has grown ( even incrementally slowly) the first thing I did was but more insurance I layered a General policy and Cybersecurity onto my initial Professional ( errors and omissions ) insurance.

So today is georgous out and a big fat pidgon just sat chilling on the backyard fence near me, about 3 feet away to my right. The pidgon and dog curled napping at me feet ( on the round outdoor wood table in my small yard) were oblivious to each other.

I am enjoying the sound of the chirping birds and rustle of trees in the forest area behind me that is part of a working farm. A local farmer who's family owned the land for I am guessing a century still farms it along with his Brooklyn born tough wife of 50 years. I like my cheaply build townhouse that let's me live close to the land. Lol. My neighbor Dr. Fauci dud a renovation and discovered the cheapest low grade plywood and zero insulation in the basement so no wonder we all need supplemental heaters ! Lol

But I don't really care and apprechiate this home.

My garden is not lush and full of flowers as dreamed of but tge wild monarda and chives and Whitebells are pretty. So I have some flowers!

Hey purple necked pidgon is back bopping it's head funny as it hops down the deck steps just behind the now alert dog. Bellatrix is watching now as the bird is chilling in the sun , sitting atop the garbage cans.

I dud dishes this AM and need to give the dog a bath. Will read poetry and chill and enjoy being in my yard until I hop the bus for the evening shift tonight.

Such a lovely day out and it hurts my heart that my kids here don't go outside much. I don't get it. I can't even motivate them to walk the dog regularly. When I called to ask the youngest to do so yesterday as I was initially scheduled just to work the morning shift at one job, but the other part time gal texted and asked me to work last night for her- the kid got really defensive as my simple ask if she could walk Bellatrix.

People and animals are all healthier if bodies have a routine! Seriously!
Regular habits help bodies! The body regulates better, everything from appetite and sleep. Routine is good for us yet my two youngest are fighting having any predictably in even the most basic of routines. Yet what is predictable is that if you do nothing, nothing happens 🤔.

They seem content with just being.
Or not? And just accept being? At least one has been going to therapy for support in their life and working toward some goals ( college goal). But the other still I'm atrophy and My abd her Dad's efforts failing to get her even out much.

Heck there are in patient programs that work for the management of POTS but from all I read they only work when the person subscribes to them. The person has to WANT to maje a change. The person has to commit to the short term actual pain and discomfort for the long term pain reduction. 😢

Sure it hurts.
The treatment hurts
BUT then it doesnt.
What I don't get us my kids denial of that as possible. I mean I read over and over again how the CHOP protocol helps many

But I can't get these two to try even walking the dog twice a week for 15 minutes.

When I shop and buy healthy food they freak out and say I have not provided food. They then go and buy snacks and junk food.

The food issues are real. I think this is an autism trait and the more I learn the more I think the youngest may be autistic as well as the 20 yr old.

The thing is they are both really bright! Until I think sophomore year the youngest has mostly As. She ended sophomore year with a 3.8

Then POTS set in....
And then COVID hit.

Sigh

I just need to get her motivated to try something new.

She was doing great getting out learning to drive BUT
Then hit a car when parking. She bounced back, positive...kept spirit up an tried again

So proud of her

And even came and DID get out and about. Ok I forgot about this but yeah that was good!! We did have a nice day volunteering together. She had fun.
But...when leaving she hit another parked car.

Two accidents on one week.

I said no worry. Next practice will be an empty lot just driving in reverse only to get hang of it. She is a good driver when going forward!!

So one week later my engine went kaput.

I mean I really am not in a position of taking on another monthly payment.

There are jobs these teens could walk to if wantvto work!! The bakery at the grocery store still hiring!

Damn the store manager who was going to hire my 20 yr off last year in summer got a full time fed job and quickly left ! Good for her after 30 yrs with Giant left for a federal program manager job. She us a great manager! Timing was such however that it explained why there was not a call back from my kids application back when that 39 yr old WAS excited to work in the floral dept a year ago. Truth is these kids would get hired based on my reputation. I think that OK!

Sigh

They want to do it on their own. But they don't have the social skills frankly, or the confidence or the motivation to follow through and I think need a helping hand to be honest.

I think there are many people like this who will actually be good employees! Honestly my quirky socially shy autistic brother took a few tries before he made it over his social anxiety in for the interview to be a cashier when a teen- but he made it in, got hired, and did a good job!
None of us knew a thing about high functioning ( so called) autism then.

He just needed encouragement. I just am disappointed my kids don't accept encouragement from me- cause heck I am the one here. I am tge only one here. I try my best to help them but it feels like no help and they don't even WANT any help it seems.

It's hard to help someone who is asleep and wants to remain asleep most of the time!!

Sigh

Well off to bathe the stinky dog as it's a nice day for her to sit and dry in the sun and today I have time to detangle her coat.

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