2023-05-22 - 12:15 p.m.

OH Snap

My kid is adulting and proud of them.

They called from a specialist's office as discovered the specialist does not take their Medicaid.
I advised see the Dr. Anyway
(if can negotiate partial payment. We have no outsatanding bills due with them and will pay the bill.)

They might see the kid-
Kid asked if they could pay upfront and then I would pay them back.
Said OK BUT negotiate if can make partial payment of something like $50 to be seen if they will see the kid.

SIMPLY As the kid can then negotiate with the insurance company to see if the insurance would remimburse or pay upfront possibly.

They might do so for out of network. Might have to pay upfront and get reimbursed but I adviced pay only a bit if can
Cause maybe luck with the insurance approving sending payment?

Many don't work with Medicaid as Medicaid will pay less than they can bill.

But whatever happens:
1. Proud of kid who scheduled appt and took the bus and got there on a Mon AM.

and
2. This is a damn fine specialist.

This Dr. researched and is published on mysatocytosis

which so few even know of. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome funky disease

So it is a fortunate thing the kid has this Dr. in their corner and yeah she is worth paying out of pocket to keep seeing.

No point in going to one covered by insurance who would not have her expertise as she is so good.

In good news I logged into the medical system to read note from the ob/gyn who took me in for care. The removal of the IUD and PAP smear normally would be routine but required that in patient surgury.

Good news is pap negative.

I have the follow up and will see what she advises as far as fibroids/cyst care. But a negative pap is indeed good news.

It just took a few years to get around to get that done!

NO MORE IUD and yeah I am still PREMENOPAUSAL

although seems perpetually bleeding.... also still ovulating and fertile and actually menstrating so that means basic sex ed folks-

My lovers have to wear a rain hat to come play in the rain.

I was not much inclined of late to be honest to want to have sex at all. I mean just not been moved to think of it as for me it really is part of a relationship. I have to have the particular interest in a particular person and am not one of those folks that decides they want sex so go out jonesing for a partner! HA I think that is literally what players do. I think some have to be more proactive however to be quite honest. I mean I turned down a guy who propositioned me recently. It is not something that happens all that rarely to me. Fortunately one of the dudes' whos parent lives at the retirement community came by to visit his parent and even after that NO of me ( he misread my being friendly in my customer service job as interest! HA HA Folks , ladies or gents who are in customer services and friendly when say hello ARE DOING THEIR JOBS! HA HA
Not to say can never meet anyone that way...
truthfully I swear if someone is lonely and single just land a job as a receptionist ANYWHERE.. HA You do MEET many people. When the greeter it is your JOB to develop relatiosnhips and you do! I mean I have actual friends I would say from those folks met. I enjoyed running into one at the coffee shop last week. I passed on a msg from family to a few carefully selected folks who cared for their parent just yesterday- as the family considers a couple of the caretakers almost like family now and wanted them to reach out to join them after the dealth of their loved one. This is normal life... and its a beautiful thing when that happens. They can now be FRIENDS now that there is not a relatioship of employer /employee per se... (even though they worked for an agency in between so to speak). Relationships HAPPEN and are NORMAL to be developed even through workplaces if that is where folks interact regularly.

So as far as sex-Some go looking for a hook up. I have never been that way at all. Would have liked to have connected with Young lover and we were texting (but it was considered but did not align and happen just a week before the procedure). I was aware then I would have dry spell while in recovery- ( or days before procedure? His day off work... right before I went it I think actually....I had picked up new job so it was a busy time.). When not sex it I don't really think about it. I only am thinking of it now as read the medical report and this one said "No sex for 2 weeks" Whereas the initial instruction I thought said "No sex for one month" OH OK then... just taking note.
ALL Good

Not that that is at all new as far as needing to be careful when do re-engage- rain hat recommended anyway but honestly on occassion I have been less stingent when know there was not much risk. Kinda like masking-
I mean I wear masks still but on occassion judged when a low risk.

But with current lover have to now also be careful about pregancy again and not just stds!

No BS.
just straighforward with him which makes it so damn easy.

So fucking refreshing. (AH literally! HA HA)

I mean no posturing

No great romance; ha nor will be. We have carefully agreed to what this is.

Its a good liason and good sex when we both feel like it once in a while.

Totally suits me. The non relationship of it.

Different from the "non relationship" HA of the Buffalo guy can say is genuinely a loving one. Hell we do both love each other but have chosen our lives and have chosen not to change them.
Since he is so far its good to have someone here once in a blue moon as well as I am focusing on maintaining my home and caring for family. I will get through this phase of working on the car issue; building my business; and doing the good work that comes my way- like this added additional pt job that is getting me off my ass onto the bike for a bit.

I do pretty much love once get in the swing of the bike commute.

Life is good!

I made one mistake in that my body was TIRED on Friday so instead of bike commuting on Fri and Sun I took the bus fri and rode on Sat and Sun. I do like to switch it up for safety. I don't want any PATTERN. I want it to be different each week.
* Just makes me feel like smart to do that to be honest since some my life is on line here!!

BUT I FORGOT that FRIDAY was Bike to Work Day!! UGH

Not sure how I never put it really obviously on my calendar!! I missed the swag. Tshirt and snacks etc would have been so fun!! Maybe even bike gear. Like the lights they handed out. I loved those things- and could have used a few new ones. DARN that was a bummer. I realized it AFTER I got to work after I just ran too late and figured best do whatever it was I finally got my butt up to do before work on Friday- and then had to take the bus.

I had work today and spoke to new client. Did some good work; chilled a bit.

BUT I could do it! AND my legs hurt less than they did last week three days after the long ride. So that is good news. I just took a warm bath after each ride and ate protein ( peanuts!) which is good post work out. I also remembered to take my iorn supplement which I am sure is helpful.

Now off to run errands to send BD gift to one kid. It was a nice relaxing but productive morning as I did feel need to rest after riding the 20 miles two days in a row. . Have to wrap and send the belated BD gift to my son as well! I had picked up two things for him but might just mail one and give the other when see him.
Better late than never.
I finished work and was like "Hey doggo lets go for a hike" for one brief moment and had the inclination to drive to hike the local mountain with Bellatrix for a moment then remembered "OH SNAP- no car!"

And remembered I have to send those records off to the Kia lady too, so a walk will be good. ( I decluttered and got rid of multiple printers. Just no need for them. Ink expensive and the darn library is so close! Also a Fed Ex for faxes when needed is close by. More cost effective and less clutter in my small home.)

Yes getting car service records to Kia still on the to do. I got house cleaned; including running the carpet cleaning in the living room and paid bills but did not get that far over the weekend. I just opted to travel light and not carry a heavy backpack full of stuff over the weekend when biking around. I thought about it - but lugging the file folder to stop off and scan it all to be emailed is a chore I decided best do from the local library in town rather than in the other town I work in which requires a longer bike ride with a heavier pack.

Today I will just walk- So will walk to get that done at the library and then head to the post office to mail BD Gifts.

YEAH Life is good!
I have enough work to pay my bills. Keeping life simple. I am getting exercise and in shape again which feels so good. Took care of the primary medical issue/concern. ( At the follow up will find out more. But clear pap great news! I am not really sure if she did anything to remove excess tissue while in there. I told the surgon to have at it if she could! Will find out. Residual bleeding normal. It is amazing to me that fibroid pain is so common and most women just live with it.)

Oh and once land this next client I will have curated a company that supports a few carefully curated clients who do meaningful things alighned with what I thikn are the most importatn issues needing addressing today:

Environmental care and sustainability
Heathcare quit and access
and misson support of critigal gov missions that are aligned with my values.

All private sector some supporting good govt work, with a rock star of a CEO with integrity and ethics who is literally my hero. I mean I aspire to be like her in certain ways. If I see a proposal for work for others I can land work for will follow her lead in doing so ( but not if it meant competing with her company- honestly. I believe in loyalty.)

SOEXCITED We have a family vacation I planned where ALL SIX of my kids will be together!!

THIS means the world to me.

I just wish it was not in a state that is literally transphobic
and which a bunch of orgs are literally sending out travel warnings about.

I mean I am about to take my fam and meet up with them all.

One is nervous.
The other trans kids have not voiced concerns.

I hope they all come and do not worry and we have a fab time.

Hell If there is any major protest we could go as a family.

I would be up for that. What the fuck.

Even get arrested as a family. I would put my money where my mouth is. Hell I have one tenant
I literally would risk all to stand up for that human right. I feel like what the helll someone has to. Don't go looking for good trouble but hell if some trouble comes our way that has potential I would not shy from it if it is just cause I am living MY LIFE and
cause I just HAPPEN TO BE taking my fam with its many trans members to see their grandfather and I want to visit my Dad.

Irony is he is a Deacon in the Catholic Church and beloved.

Its messed up thing that there are Catholics out there trying to get their kids to detranstion and come to Jesus. I don't get it.

Any Christians- I don't get the using of the Bible to deny other's right to just exist.

I mean what do these people think trans folks are doing?

What they are not doing is getting pregnant as teens.

Its almost like there is a railing against teenage preganancy being prevented.

I mean I see the teenage Catholic moms. It is always the Catholics. My neighbors, my friends' kids-
It is always the Catholic kids who were not taught about sex ed. Not preached to use fucking condoms if you don't have the self control and fortitude or desire to make a choice to not have sex. So many say that they want to wait but are compelled and really don't want to -
wheather it is cause they really don't want to and not strong enough to hold that line cause it is do damn amazing and fun and they are in love in the moment

OR Whether they DO Want to and have not really subscrbed to what tehir family hoped they believed is irrelevant.

They still were equally cluelss about birth control when the moment came.

SO when they announce "Congratulations" at their grandchildren to be that is genuine as those parents really did just actually I think WANT their kids to have kids.
I mean really
If they did not want their kids to have kids as teens they would have taugh about birth control right? I mean NO ONE, regarless of their faith I believe can be really oblivious to the FACT
that most folks are seually active on AVG by age 15.

I mean are these parentes really remaining ignorant? I find it hard to believe they did not learn of life facts
by the time they are full grown adults with a 15 yr old daughter.

I have to belive they CHOSE To ignore the facts cause subscribe to their religious faith BUT ALSO because fundamentally they DO welcome new life and they DO want more than anything to raise kids who become parents and are close to them

I mean really-
Misson accomplished of raising faith filled kids like them to be close to and to have their family close by that they can continue to care for.

Its not about only wanting to care for their own kids.

That is not enough
These parenes really want their family lineage to go on. They WANT grandkids

Otherwise they would not lament their trans and often AESECUAL kids who do not want to procreate.

FACT IS that some trans are asexeual.

and refusal to be sexualixed and in a way their aesexuality itself is believed by some to be the affront. WHY would this be unless the interest is in having your lineage carried on. Its like casue they don't want to have kids to continue the fmaily line they are seen as offensive..

I mean otherwise why care if you have trans kids?

BUT FOR the fact they have no intention of carrying on your family lineage?

Honestly some trans folks fully intend to be parents. I mean I have seen some trans women who were male at birth literally say all they ever wanted to be was a mother! They had that nurturing yearning to mother.
but I think honestly MANY don't intend to have kids at all. And I feel like that is the unspoken affront to society and their families.

SURE MANY DO but I am speaking of the many who are just not interested in parenthood as an avocation in life.

It is just so odd to me that this is what creates such ire to the point of parents disowning their own kids. So counterintuitive.

SIGH

Anyway, hope we all have a fabulous and NORMAL FL vacation. Uneventful. Not with any opportunity to be activists! HA Seriously I am going to spend time with my Dad so hope no hiccups on this trip. Hope no drama and just a lovely vacation.

The teacher child called today to say how much she is looking forward to the vacation! YEAH!!

Talked to my bro who is living near water and told him I already got a place near Dad's so if that beach house is able to be rented do so; make the money...
and if it is free- then we can head over for a day trip.

But this trip is to see Dad primarily. Even though not staying overnight I am SURE I can get his house deep cleaned for him while there. KNOW he and my bro who live there really could use that kind of help when we visit. Know what to expect. My other brother goes to visit and fixes whatever need fixing and takes care of things. Honestly maybe when there I can find a reputable cleaning lady and rally fam to perhaps support that for Dad and my actually autistic brother.

OR talk to my bro about reaching out for some support. My autistic 20 yr old to be honest might end up being a great influence on their uncle. I mean there are those who ARE LEGIT disabled who can't work but don't ever get help ( like my bro). AS they age it is really essential someone convinces them to get into the system for the supports they need. My bro and Dad are at the point where honestly my bro could get some help for himself that I think he does need.

My other brother help them out. But honestly he did try his best to work. He did his time to extent he could.
My kid I know CAN WORK ( but is not mentally ready to -cause THINKS Can't)
My bro I know can't. Perhaps the good of the mindset of my kid would be at least at this point get helf for my bro?

My CA bestie also is taking a vacation and will be in the area. Look forward to her visit too!

Reminds me-I have to look at what clothes she has stored in my attic so she knows what NOT to pack. On today's TO DO as well.

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