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2023-07-04 - 10:59 a.m.

It's amazing how this works.
I just paid my mortgage.
I will have .40 left in that bank account after the payment fmgoes through!!

My company got paid from last month's sent invoices abd yesterday I paid myself but it did not yet hit my account.

So I do have $1000 en route to pay the other bills this month!

But talk about living paycheck to paycheck!

I also had less income this month as took the vacation time off. It may be only low wage jobs that impacted; but hey they add up.

My kids kill me as to how clueless they seem to be about money.

They webt shopping last week. They asked what was the budget. I said $ 80

Cause figured that would be enough to get by for a few days at least.

They spent $160

Just a vent:

Why did they buy four boxes of lasagne ( when full price not on sale? 2.99 each

Being petty I know, but tge thing is that is the kinda thing to stock up on when on sale. Think it's cause they got all the ingredients for lasagne but are not well experienced in making it so no clue how much need of each. Guess no one thought to rrad the recipie on the box for guidance? It's just funny to me they got two things ricotta and three jars sauce. I mean are they planning on making lasagne for 35 people?

Sigh

And the 10LB bag of sugar!! What?

I mean I have low glycemic sweeteners here:
Agave
Honey 🍯
Stevie

We don't need that! It's so bad for everyone, in particular in this household with the health issues

BUT. There is no listening to me.

I font give them shit. Let them cook and bake abd get what they want

BUT it's irritating when they KNOW I am on a budget and they go over it

And I am worried about ability to pay the mortgage!!

Irresponsible and selfish of them.

I basically asked " Can you wait til 7th? The SNAP card refills then and you can all go shopping for what you want then "

But they said there was not enough food in the house
And they went and but SNACKS. Cookies. Chips Ice Cream
And yes ingredients to cook.

They do cook. Can't complain about their independence in that regard.

The TV broke and it's a great motivator for them not being sucked into their game of addiction ( Genshin Impact). I noticed a bit more productivity from them as far as organizing their stuff to downsize. They are talking of doing a yard sale. Two are getting ready to leave:
One off to Japan in a month so is trying yo go through and reduce clutter and get rid if stuff and pack efficiently.

The 2nd is still acting like headed to the West Coadt for college end of September. I won't put my home at risk and cosign a loan.

Not for AC
Or a car
Or my kids education

Heck no


My finances are still paycheck to paycheck.

With the new client that may increase income but it also may just level out as the other client leveraged me heavier at first. Thing is once I clean up templates and tighten up legal language a company has added value already and just uses those templates. They only need my for on-going issues and frankly the better I am at my job up front, the less they should need me later If they are a seller in the commercial sector with enough clout to have clients sign their paper!

Yeah so my fav commercial client is not sending much work. They also might honestly be taking vacation. Or maybe sick? 🤧 Feel like something going on....it's a small business and I get ready receipts indicating when my email is even opened and looks like no activity of reading my latest to them!! I tested and my emails are going through elsewhere. So don't think any tech issue but will call This week just to touch base and check in.

I did any work asked for and know the deliverables were all received by them to date! ( Someone showed having reason the last item...but not tge leadership that USUALLY opens it!)

I do like the service provider I use fir my email as it tells me when my sent emails were opened and by whom which is helpful!

So.....will see if this one kid really can launch off into the world and head to school on the West coast.

I dud ask why fly to a city an hour and a half from the school when there is an airport in the sane town ad the school?

Makes no sense.

The kid clearly intends to meet someone. I figured that much. I feel like for safety I should go with the kid and this 20 yr old said they don't want me to.

I am going to offer a plane tix to the city of school and to accompany my kid to college like many other kids. That is rather normal! This kid is a piece of work at times. I do have airline points to cover one tix at least.

They were trying to pressure me to get then a tix to the other city.

They Saud the plan is to go early and have time to go shopping with their intended roommate to decorate their dorm.

Ok I get that

I met my roommate to go shopping. She was another LI gal and lived further out on the Island. We took the trsin and met somewhere. And we planned to decorate. We bought beautiful blue fabric. I sewed curtains and throw pillows. We bought lumber. She made a table for us! Seriously she joined stage crew with Little Theater on our campus and had shop access immediately and in a week had a kickin little coffee table. We had plants abd tge best freaking dorm. She waa an artist and got permission to paint the walls as long as we agreed to whitewash it upon moving out.

An Interview magazine cover with Inzs. I font even know how to spell it....lol. in x esss?? Inxs. Oh spell check won't let me spell it...lol

Her fav band ....image of the singer? Idk. I was into jazz and fusion but it looked funky abd liked both it and hearing her music 🎶 lol. She introduced me to 80s music.

So I get it.

My kids tell me I am being paranoid when I say " How do you know thus is really an 28 yr old you are interacting with? "


Fucking groomers are out there


My kid says " Cause my friend FaceTimed me from school! I have seen their high school."

My kids say adults would not know how to fake a high school.kid that well.

So if it is another actual incoming student NO issue with me accompanying my kid TO THE COLLEGE. And meeting the kid THERE
And if I have a rental car helping them out by giving a ride if they want to go shopping. Heck we can drive the hr abd a half into city to meet them together.

Tix booked early are surprisingly affordable to the west coast ( at least they were acouoke weeks ago when mynkid asked for a tix).

But it makes no sense for my kid to lug all their stuff to a city further from the school when alone


That seems like bulkshit.

Like if they want to do that then I wonder if school is really the goal and the draw to the West coast.
That does not add up in my mind to a sensible or reasonable plan.

Each kid is different.

Heck my older kid was about the same age when talking of wanting to visit Austin TX to see if liked it in consideration of possible grad school and I suggested ( ad they were in a gap year) - rather than go visit with their boyfriend that they consider just moving to try it out. ( They already lived together. They both did not care for current jobs much)

That child also had health issues BUT that child hustles and works hard and I was confident with even the little money they saved could find an apt and work quickly. They did. In two weeks of arrival they and their partner did as well. But they had an established relationship. The kid was not alone but with someone they loved who loved my kid and they both knew how to do the hard work to make it. I had no doubt it was a good move for them to check out that city.

But this kid is very different.

I am not willing to throw my kid, even a PIA kid at times, to the wolves
Which is essentially what it would feel like if I got a tix to that city without any safe structure and plan of support.

Hell no.

I have watched dear friends of mine bury their children.

I am not paranoid
Nor naive

Not controlling
Nor detached and non involved as a parent hekl yeah, even if 20
This child feels younger
Is not emotionally mature frankly.

I am just not going to aid and abet stupid plans.

It would be irresponsible of me to do so.

Ok off to make spanikopita.

I was happy that after rest for a day, and ibuprofen, I could walk today!

Seriously

Could walk without shooting pain in my left thigh down through knee.

I took Belkatrix for a walk and used my credit card to get ingredients for Spanikopita as I offered to bring that to my friend's gathering today at 1pm.

Just a nice appetizer to share.
I will sit as much as can and use a stool when cooking and get this made.

Thinking of my friend who's one daughter woukd have been 31 yesterday. Glad I got to see her and hubby on Friday might after their classical concert right in the town where I work. I missed the concert as working but they were so happy to have about 100 folks there at a local church where it was held.

I met them afterwards and that was lovely. Meeting her husband 10 years ago was the best thing to have happened in her life in the past 20 yrs for sure!
I hope they are going to the party today ad it is a mutual friend hosting it. ( The fellow I met through them at her birthday party!)

She is on my mind. I am actuslly wearing a cute top that was a hand me down from her today as well.

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Should get 2.5 hr of sleep now. 😴 - 2023-07-07

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