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2023-07-07 - 2:36 a.m.

I was really trying to get a good night's sleep before my 7am shift tomorrow.

I also work evening shift at the 2nd job.

And hopefully have opportunity to fit in a call eith client
There are some loose ends lingering I really just eantvyo bring to a close for that client. Things 90% done REALLY bother me.

So I need to be efficient.

Yes. I will try to schedule calls in the three hrs between jobs.

Back to bed.

Not fixing AC. Decided it just is not worth it to pay $1300 plus for refrigerant.

I got a call today that the part was in and the place wanted to schedke the repair. That eoukd vector part ( compressor) I has Said don't order
Cause after given two options either repair or replace I said I eiukd consider replacement so wanted the updated quote.

There are rebates available now. The quoted system us SEER 18 or 19 ( forget which -substantially better system than last quote ) but out of budget just now.

The good news is the quite came in about same as last time for the much better system.

Not affordable just yet. Considered getting it done anyway to take advantage pf rebates and tax incentives BUT realize can get the rebate in future, not ONLY 2023.

I need to pay back my one bro I borrowed from first before doing anything else, and pay off credit cards.


So need increased income to do that. Hopefully work picks up with my new client.

I am now awake cause 1. Kids all cooked together and made a delicious lasagne that was done around midnight. Has a midnight snack simply as woke cause it was too hot! Has been sleeping but had trouble cause heat rises and despite my one kid saying my room is coolest, I think not! I was awoken when tge youngest barged in my room hours before abd took my fan to put downstairs. I let it be fir a while as after all they were cooking so tge extra fan to move air then made sense.

I hot by without it fir a while

BUT once they all were done cooking and eating abd settling again for night I retrieved my fan so I could get bsck yo sleep to try to get a good night's rest. I sleep through the background murmer of their chatter typically, as they are nocturnal it seems. But the heat is harder to sleep through at times.
There is a fan downstairs already near the couch the one adulting kid chose to sleep on. A bit of a PIA during the day that the kid won't sleep on the extra mattress in my room as at tge slightest noise the kid acts like it's the utmost selfishness on my part to date wake him! It's crazy to me how that kid acts like it selfishness if I do dishes and nshe rge slightest noise in the kitchen when tge kid could choose to go to sleep in sn upstairs bedroom and not be in the middle of the living room. Heck during the day I need to get normal shit done! I try to be quiet and respectful but damn the expectation is just unrealistic and when disturbed even in the slightest the response toward me is downright abusive sadly.
So after all settled , so I thought, I retrieved my fan so I could get back to sleep.

I was pleased to fall asleep again
Yet only to be woken by the barging in of the next youngest who was demanding and obnoxious in asking me to log in and give my device to them so they could book the flight out west for Fall.

I Saud no, I eoukd book the flight FOR the kid. Just tell me what date. The kid refused to tell mectge desired date. Doesn'twant ne to know their plans. O SaId wait. I AM SLEEPING and we can call the airline tomorrow.

I wanted to call to see if can book directly to the regional airport in the city of the college the kid was admitted to and registerd for with intention of attending in Fall.

It made no sense to fly an hour and a half away.

But my kid said they have a plan. Their roommate is living in the city an hour abd a half from the school, the friend met on a discord server who gave the idea of applying to this school to be roommates together.

My kids think I am paranoid when I sent them this article ...ah hard time copying link...but basically some article about groomers who abducted a 15 yr old boy and uses him as a sex slave in a FL trailer park...after luring on discord.

I am asking " How do you KNOW the identity of the seeming 18 yr old intended roommate" 🤔?

I suggested for safety I accompany my kid to school and my kid meets the roommate at the college. Hell who cares if it's a bit more to fly direct to the regional airport. The airline site doesn't say can't fly there it says " Must call to book this location."

So the kid got impatient and insisted they are an adult and booked and paid for their own flight in their impatience as I was trying to sleep.

They act like it is outlandish of me to treat them like a child and suggest accompanying them! It's crazy ( to me) that suggestion is seen as intrusive and is unwelcome.

So the kid is flying alone to the West coast with intent to go to school but without means to pay for the tuition yet.
Makes no sense.
In a city without any support system but a discord friend known for a year with a rather serious mental illness who lives with his grandmother. My kid said the grandmother said they are welcome to stay there and my kid said the family is driving their friend to the dorm and happy to drive my kid too.
But my kid will not share information about their friend or his family with me, nor will give me the courtesy of allowing me to confirm plans with grandma. My kid says as an adult they are doing this o. Their iwn abd uts none of my business

BUT in tge next breath says " You owe me $230 200 for the plane ticket abd $30 for groceries."

Oh yeah the SNAP card the kid absconded from me has a zero balance. Mainly cause 1. SNAP is only for those working so the support received for my two dependent adult household mrmbers was cut off since neither of them have found even part time work. And 2. I shopped on line at Wal-Mart and Amazon using up the small SNAP allocation awarded to me only ( $80 about?) Plus a couple hundred of my own earned cash and have a shipment of staples of healthy food coming in the next day or two as provisions are low.
I had the card # saved from a prior order and shopped on line yesterday. Seemed a good idea since honestly I am not up for lifting too much yet. One month post op abd still feel soreness of healing a bit so taking it easy, especially after overdoing it with my leg which feels better now but I need to let heal as well and not exasperate. It was scary to not be able to walk on that leg for a bit and made me worry I injured it seriously, however after a couole days of resting it I feel more confident that was just swelling and inflammation!

( Darm aside Here: Tomorrow's to do - reschedule or just cancel Dr. Appt for leg. May be better going directly to a physical therapist frankly rather than the nurse practitioner ..ok not quite a Dr. Appt but a nurse practitioner sppt and she is as good as any general MD- but the office saw my request for next availableappointmentand scheduled me for Monday during hours I am at work! )

And says
Will get a job there and THEN apply for a student loan done I won't cosign for one.

The kid says my house is what is making them sick. Claiming there is mold in this environment so they can't work while living here but will be able to once move.
I said, if thst is the case that this house makes you sick why not try being out of it and in another environment for 40 hrs a?week. Like pick up a job at the supermarket?

Kid said " They never called me"
I said " Walk in! That is how the gal working st the bakery said she got hired "

It's how I got hired when I picked uo the job at their deli.

You have to TALK to people about your interest!

And they did call once way back when the kid applied, but they did not leave a message and when I told the kid I saw the store on the caller id this kid did not walk in to follow up.

Buy my kid thinks they will be successful in flying to a west coast city, meeting friend / roommate and heading to the school to settle in and in a couple weeks will land a job sufficient to be approved for a student loan AND be ready to both work and handle a full time engineering program.

Two years of repeating the mindset " I can't work as can't find a job I can do with my disabilities. "

I hope THIS is not grandiose thinking, alternating with depressive thinking.


If perchance it is....

Well I hope my kid is successful and somehow makes the plan work, safely.

I will try to offer sound advice and support but this is out of my hands. My child is out of my hands.

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