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2023-07-08 - 11:22 p.m.

Omg. I think I might be abke to cry now


I never cry

But I just did absolutely the stupidest thing.

My boyfriend is back and I was texting him

So excited to see him


I had a great day with friends

One of whom is a musician that actually improvised a song that was an interpretation of my life.

Really what a gift.

Then I got home and my kids were ugly to me again

All three packing against me.

I texted something about it. Then did not eantvto emotionally dump on him right as he got home

So tried to delete the one emotionally venting text

And deleted the whole thread.

All the georgous texts he sent.


His poetic love bombing. Ha ha

We joke as know narcissistic love bombs are toxic

BUT. Seriously. His romantic texts. Mine.

I just lost them

Oh well.

He called and asked simply
" Are you OK ?"

And I an always so afraid of being saved. Don't trust that as basis of relationship but know that is NOT the basis of this relationship..

Apparently he saw my text
I deleted the thread 4 me.
Not him

And no matter midnight. My kids are STILL going off being ugly

I am looking forward to seeing him.

I am going there now rather than tomorrow

They woke mecthe past few nights. I deserve to sleep well and have peace and be respected and yes even actually loved.

I am not being avoidant. I have invited them all to family therapy.

But I will not be the punching big verbally attacked without them being at all willing to engage I. Reasonable conversation.

Happy to see him soon!

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