2023-07-21 - 10:00 a.m.
Duty called so writing don't need to do but want to do cut short.
I want to capture that I need to write less here as one of tge things doing is my BF and I have a fun shared journal in which when with him we each individually think for a few moments of an intention for the day
A to do
And write it down.
I feel less need to emotionally plan my day HERE alone on days with him. He allows plenty of space for me. I can take what I need
But when together after working late and he picks me up abd I stay at his place before working early shift next day
We also plan a date once a week.
Last night we enjoyed a nice hike at my fab local spot he had never before been to.
Dog needs walk . . Gotta go
Two weekends ago I had the wonderful all day relaxation at the pool with my friends
And one, a composer
A hard one
And she grabbed my hand
But she is a friend for years. Another single mom. Lost her child
Grieving of a child is a grief I hope to never know.
She led me to the piano room ( we were at this incredible actusl mansion. I mean our friend lives there now for a while longer as he us caretaker, gardener, house Sitter, former third parent " Manny " who helped raise kids in between NYC design jobs. He was brought in by his besties to design the space and the kids loved him so convinced to stay. Hes REALLY fam now
That is his family I'm a real sense. They r moving as youngest launches off to college. Car not allowed on campus first year so our friend also gets to drive the cutest red Tesla.
Lol. He looks and lives as If rich himself but is a hard working creative artist. I mean such a talented fun person who puts energy into what moves him.
Community gardening his latest goals. He wants to live in Hawaii and dreams of setting up sustainable local gardens on the one island with a large food insecurity issue among locals as ge is an incredible gardener.
So. . . A couple Saturdays poolside with my dog that can run around abd explore the large fenced back yard with friends have been such a gift.
My kids were invited but woukd not come! There us a rec room where we played pool. There is air hockey and we plated corn hole. Just felt like a mini vacation.
Place so big my kids could come and be on their own if they prefer and my friend fine with that. He wants to offer sanctuary.
My grieving friend and her hubby were there with us. It was birthday of lost daughter that week.
And my friend
Of my life. Part of it. Part of the story
Capturing the arch of joy and peace then turmoil and resolution of the story she knew and watched as I have known her for the past 20 years.
What a gift!
I recorded her. The files too big to send. Tried to upload to shared drive and send to her. I have to try again as she was delighted when she realized I captured her emotive outpouring of love and healing.
It was absolute catharsis for her.
She turned her deep empathy and her own grief away from herself to look to help heal another and in doing so it helped her grieving process.
Because she heard me say I don't cry when talk of my past pain. I sm detache somehow. She wanted me to be able to feel and release too, yet if and when I can't the song expressing my story through her is enough in the moment. She knows this.
It waa catharsis for me.
And the funny part was my dog felt the music. She was whining and whimpering at a sad part of tge piano playing. It was fabulous somehow, and when the song ended Belkatrix was happy to run around joyfully outside again.