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2023-08-01 - 8:32 a.m.

I have shored up the security of my laptop. Which is great
I have an increased security package to detect intrustion, etc.
And purchased a pretty well reviewed VPN

So if I log in anywhere I am tunneling with my data/traffic protected (ostensibly) and firewalled so no one else on any network


As writing this a black screen command prompt image showed up for split second then disappeared/

OK There is no content to paste this time
Control V does not show anything

so it is not screencaptured. It might just be there is some keyboard prompt? sticky fingers hitting some combo when type fast...

BUT the thing is if that were the case the black screen with command prompt would not DISAPPEAR in a split second. If I triggered with a key stroke error as my typing does suck, to open the command prompt screen ( I forget what the heck it is called)
The window would STAY OPEN, right?

This is the kinda stuff I wish did not happen.

Anyway... going to keep going with train of thought and frankly IGNORE IT


what I was going to say is This:

SO I shored up security of my machine

BUT it works great everywhere BUT HOME
and I think it is because I have a crappy router

Sites timing out when connecting.

I think that is the issue.

I did find what I think is a compatible router with the security need for it.
On the way
Will set it up and hope all is well and it works
connection fast enough
and can work from home and do not see any funky screen flashes of the command prompt screen.

I will go work elsewhere and am thankful I have another machine set up dedicated to the ONE CLIENT.

If my car were running honestly I would ask the other if they mind if I come work IN THEIR OFFICE.

I just would feel better about that. Honestly.
Its a consideration.

If the new router does not resolve this I could freaking take public transportation and lyft to work if had to for my own peace of mine. Get a routine and go in twice a week. Twice a week a few hours I bet I could give them the support they need and not be worried about security.

Cause I take this seriously and it just sucks to have reason to make me take pause and kinda slow down a bit of work.

I have a project for them

I was also EXHAUSTED after working the health care gigs all weekend. AND the other client had a doc review needing to be done.

I was not feeling well the past couple days-
Seriously disappointed my OB/GYN surgon sent msg Now forget the lingo- but there are two tests for UTIS
One a basic screening with dipstick thingy
and then a 2nd is when send to lab and see what grows in a petri dish.

NOW For basic STD testing the send urine to the lab to see what grows.

What is there will grow.

So my boyfriend and I had STD testing done. (He is a gem)
And when mine came back this UTI bacteria showed up.

The thing is I was FEELING it just a bit. BUT I did not read the MYCHART email sent until something like 5 or 6 days after it was sent. (Honestly I don't check personal email often. I mean I check beginning of month as I get ONE work schedule emailed there But NOTHING ELSE really important... some volunteer work stuff.... but really I check once a week or so and its plenty.
BUT FOR This office did not call, JUST relies on that now for communication. It is not effective for me. (At least was not- now that I KNOW they use that not as REDUDANCY but the only method of communication it can work as will KNOW to check email to log in. OH the other glitch is the site NEVER recognizes saved passwords! Definately a design issue. EVERY TIME I have to reset my password)

I found a handful of offices using the same system and so I am constantly re-setting the MY CHART password.

So that culture showed a bacteria that causes UTI inflammation. I was FEELING IT honestly for a couple days.
So it made sense. BUT The Dr. asked in the message "Do you want me to call in a prescription for_____"
Umm yeah, that would have been helpful.
BUT I never answered.
I called the office and left a message something like 4 days AFTER found the email. I honestly first tried all the natural remedies. Fenugreek tea, driking cranberry juice, eating yogurt etc...

WAIT I even have a pill for women's "balance" of system. Herb concoction. I forgot about that... it is designed for this. Little PINK BOTTLE LoL
Hoeompathic combo. I got it when having the all sorta weird issues and felt off before knew what the heck was wrong and that all the homeopathic possibilities are not taking care of fibroids and cysts etc...

BUT That really may work for a UTI ( in some).

BUT I think it did work to an extent, but NOT COMPLETELY

as after a good run of feeling better.... now I am feeling symptomatic again. And it just stinks cause I DID ask my OB/GYN if she could call in the script cause the Primary Nurse Practitioner had not. I even told her that the phamacy said there is a back order on that antibiotic ( when I called to see if the order was perhaps called in even though I had not responded). The pharmacist said "Since she did not call it in yet, know we have no idea when that will be available."

She was suggesting the Dr. consider if another option is viable.

Basically, I know OLD people get funny with UTI I mean mentally foggy, lethargic... etc...
When they are "off " the nurses and CNAs are so good at first ensuring not dehydrated and then next thing they do is test for a UTI.

I am also having headaches the past couple days.

This is also consistent with a UTI although not many realize that. AND taking ibuprophin will not help.
The inflammation caused in urinary tract by bacteria won't be mitigated by ibuprophin (from what I read).
(Maybe masking of pain? But the growth of bacteria will continue)

I ALSO Read that 20-30% of all sepsis infections started as a UTI that spread to a kidney infection

NOW having had two past kidney infections in my life, one which was resultant in sepsis that was very serious and hard to kick ( Those were ecoli- this is not, ureaplasma is the offending bacteria this time thank God as E coli is very dangerous)

Well it just makes me nervous to feel pain in my lower back, which yup is that known kidney pain.

I think I already vented about this.
Cause my ob/gyn sent message "initial culture clean so I did not send the urine to the lab", and NO she did not call in a prescription for me either.


and I was like "OK Fine- the homeopathic is working"

UNTIL it did not.

Until night before last I was feeling that pain. Well really it was at work I started feeling the discomfort again. (Friday night actually now that I think about it.)

Yeah since Friday I have been feeling it again. I saw the Ob/gyn for follow up the prior Thurday. About a week later.

So because it was June 10 I think the first lab work came back
I have to go see the Primary care provider again before they would call in a prescription. They need to take the urine sample again.

I was uncomfortable so after I headed to my boyfriends house the night before last after getting off work at 9pm ( in town where he lives) I was so tired I did not even want to go home to walk Bellatrix. I just wanted to crash.

He went to the store to find Fenugreek tea. God bless this man.. I am so grateful. Oh yeah I did journal a bit and recall the falling asleep as doing so.

He came back with the tea and made a nice cup with lots of honey ( bonus!) I had been drinking it straight when home at my house.

WAY BETTER with honey which ALSO is good for anti infammation and kicking bacteria. (At least local ones)

I can't get into the work systems for my clients securely just now. So can't do even a bit of work I intended to do before the 10AM Dr. appointment.

That stinks. I did get work done yesterday in town.

Thank God for the VPN

I never before got a doc review request that HAD to be done pronto. I mean almost immediately. It sucked for me that came in when I was OFF

I mean mentally not feeling best

BUT I did get it done. I did send a wonky email however. UGH someone apologize and said "this doc is..." And gave context of it
I honestly thought they had sent a NEW doc and the one the sent before was the wrong one. My response would have made sense in that context. BUT I had not reviewed the attachment to realize it was just an apolgy for not giving background and context and not a NEW DOC to be reviewed sent!
I have to let it go...
It just was unclear communication and in that context ( just a claiftying email) my response makes VERY LITTLE SENSE

I was thinking something different... not on same wavelength at all

I just hate when that happens in a professional email exchange and when it was because I did not OPEN an attachment but made an ASSUMPTION And moved too quickly.
(Which did cause was so tired; head hurt; was exhausted and really just wanted to focus and get it done ASAP to meet the need

BUT it was OK

even when not feeling well
it just meant I had to re-read a provision a couple times ( don't always have to do that) BUT My comments were on point and valuable.
at my worst
saw some things that have added value to call out and change to reduce risk.

SO I guess even though it felt stressful and I felt crappy and it gave me some anxiety to have a review due ASAP

* I Mean I was working the Part time role and did not even OPen my consutling email til NOON to see a request for something returned by 1pm!

This is a respectful client who ALWAYS Gives lots of lead time BUT FOR THIS ONE Time.

I mean cause it is important and she really needed help to get a couple other set of eyes. (Sent to me and another)

I just want to give good support as think the world of her.
SO I called to say NO can't do that BUT ASAP and in afternoon, would review just after working the healthcare job filling in for for the day. ( I told her about that -that I do it once in a while).

I got it done.

I have NO fill in hours in AUG at the Assisted Living gig. The young fella has the hours and that is a perfect time for such shift. Cause I have the new client who I have a project for THIS WEEK
to get done. DAMN would have liked to have knocked off some of that Friday night. Met the boss there to get the assignement and planned on it but honestly I was EXAUSTED and not feeling well.

So... this is my morning pages

Before heading to the 10AM Dr. Appointement.
New router ordered yesterday.

I will trust the weird sceen image/command prompt thingy will not happen when working and is not realted to anything but THIS space and fact I am still going through THIS home router (OR some weird command prompt I have no idea exists and a slip up typo I keep doing ).

I feel like once swap out the router my place here will be secured for working.

BUT til then there are librarys, coffee shops, etc...
My boyfriends'.

It is an act of trust and healing to be able to work there.

YEAH I have some serious PTSD from life experiences.

I hate the moments of that manifesting. Thankfully they are small.

So last night, after picking me up from work we enjoyed discovering we both enjoy Edgar Allen Poe.
BUT OF COURSE he is one of my BFs favs..

LOL That was my response when he said "OMG I KNOW WHERE I WANT TO TAKE YOU"

when he got delighted to know how much I enjoy Poe's work

and I knew before he told me that he was thinking of the Poe House in Baltimore.

I had been speaking to a couple of the ladies sitting on the porch at the Assisted Living as waiting for him to pick me up. They were taking to each other about where they lived. I heard one say Baltimore and told her how I so enjoy visiting there. We talked of the port, and I spoke of the vacation I took on Halloween with my kids and how we enjoyed visiting the Poe house.

Then we were talking about Poe's work when my boyfriend picked me up.

He bastardized a quote ( it was impressive... I mean I can't recall any quotes, heck I forget poem NAMES even)... the romantic poem of lenore and then threw in some Lady Macbeth quote
in a overly dramatic funny quirky way

I think the ladies found him odd HA HA
the looks...
I just laughed and said "of course you can quote and remember the poems"

That is so fun
and OF COURSE you love Poe.

I mean it is just so funny as things unfold how the discoveries are of what we share in common.

So I went to his place and drank tea and took a nap and then woke to watch a bio of Poe.

Honestly I found learning of his life far more terrifying than reading his work ever was. I mean the fact of his love of life dying after he nursed her for years in a decline

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