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2023-08-23 - 9:36 p.m.

Just read an article that popped up about a 58 yr old VA woman making 60K a year with $258k in student loan debt as she had multiple degrees, and the dept of her son's education as she took out a PLUS loan.

Hell no-
I am not taking out loans for my kids education.

I just am not in a position to do that.

My kid is angry at me for refusing.

Said I PROMISED to do so.

I do believe I said I would help with loans if needed WAY BACK WHEN I worked in a better job
before being let go;
and way back when the kid was actually busting their ass, postive and hard working

Heck it was back in middle school
the kid was in CAP
and talking about college

and YES I encouraged the kid then

BUT That was also when the kid had As and good grades and truthfully those ARE FACTORS in how affordable college is. If a student is doing well
then they get scholarships

Its not the same as the current situation
as under THOSE conditions the loans would be reasonable to help with

Sustainable

BUT beacuse of health issues, including depression etc

This kid does not have scholarships

BUT THEN AGAIN you have to APPLY To get them and there are so many small local ones I know my kid WAS eligilble to apply to.

I am just disappointed this kid is inflexible in considering options
and fixated and stuck on this one very unrealistic
unreasonable
stupid plan.

It is just very impactical and high risk.

BUT My kid bought a flight and is still planning on heading west to go to a school they put a deposit on room down for
($250) and that they said YES and enrolled in

Without ability to pay the tuition.

I mean there is not some magic fairy that is going to show up with 9K for the first QUARTER

The school is on a quarterly system!

The FAFSA was re-worked based on my actual income
so the kid got $5000 more in a Pell grant apparently. So the annual tuition left after grants and work study is somehow down to $35,000 for the year
from the $44,000 differnce when I saw the financial aid letter.

OUT OF STATE TUITION IS EXPENSIVE

It makes NO SENSE to be so stubborn and not consider the local community college OR
consider actually working a job here

The kid thinks because the minimum wage is higher they will be better off moving

MAKES NO SENSE

Living home and paying cheap rent ( or free for a bit as the kid has not yet paid rent) working at $12,00 hour or $15,00 hour job is fiscally MUCH SMARTER

than taking on $35 K in debt to be a student and then take some part time job at $20 per hour

The kid acts like they are going to get a full time job. Really?

Maybe they will find a night auditor job

but then they will be SLEEPING through class
I mean how the hell does this kid expect to SUDDENLY be able to work full time AND go to school full time
when the past few years it was a struggle to get out of bed and move

and I heard
"I am too tired" to clean up after self in the kitchen
or "too tired" to get out of bed and take the dog for a walk etc.

I mean if you can barely function in life and can't work cause are so disabled

why would that suddenly CHANGE in another city?

The kid has this narrative in their head they are sick because my house has mold.

Fucking ridiculous.

They were telling others this, as well as me
that they think suddenly *magically* they will move and live in a home without a mold enviromental problem that is making them sick, and be able to function with energy.

I seriously think this kid is delusional. No exaggeration. In la la land
as far as not at all in touch with the economic reality of the world.

I did look up the facts and sent to be sure the kid knows:

If they really do get qualified for student loans and actually can get them-well good luck and the kid better rock their courses to get a kicking good job when done.

BUT if they somehow get DENIED for a loan, as have no credit history and no work history and are chronically ill, technically disabled rather significantly in recent years

WELL
I needed th kid to know that

THEY HAVE SIX DAYS after the first day of school to withdraw and receive 100% refund of tuition.

They have 30 days to withdraw and receive a 50% refund of tuition.
MEANING if withdraw after 30 days 50% of the remaining tuition bill will be DUE and that becomes a debt owed to the college.

Colleges do sue for payment when default occurs.

I just am very concerned about my kid who has refused to get a job while living here the past two years who thinks that they can finance college with ridiculous loans and it will be managable to pay them off.

Maybe the kid doesn't CARE about debt
I dont' get it
how is the kid going to LIVE?
27
My kid said they don't have the money to just MOVE but CAN move into a dorm this way so they see this as a ticket to moving!

I think it crazy.
But maybe there is some way I will be proved wrong.
I just encouraged taking this as a TRIP to visit-
Defer enrollment and look for a job while staying with the friend they are meeting. Maybe find a job, then work on finding a place to live.

and work and establish RESIDENCY
THEN go to the school as an IN STATE student next Fall.

The price differnce between in state and out of state is huge, and often if you start as out of state it is hard to change that.
Have to live off campus for a year I think
so I have heard some students did that and they were able to pay in state tuition for Jr. and Sr years only.

Heck I want to support this kid.
I applaud believing in your dreams and going for it.

I just don't think this kid will even be approved for loans. Not without a job!

So don't know what they intend to do.

I think reality has to set in, eventually.

I just hope it is not after a very painful life lesson that stays with him jjjjjjjjjjjjjj.... ha ha that was a doze...
just fell asleep while typing

TO bed
Exausted as we fought about this last night.

The night started nice, even though in the middle of the night!
I was asleep and woke up as smelled cinnamon coffee cake baking. I was also a bit hungry, so went downstairs to the kitchen and found my kid there with a pizza they made.. We started off talking NICELY and it was a rare pleasant interaction. My kid was excited to share the savory kale spinach lemon dipping sauce he made for the pizza. (It was delicious!) Then I had some of the coffee cake too and we were good-
until discussion startedl

Then the discussion of the college plans ensued.
It got very heated and ugly

That is all I will say
other than it was EXHAUSTING and upsetting

And I ran an errand today and despite being exhausted, just stopped ( as had a 10 AM meeting and needed to be on time!)- at my boyfriend's to work there, and then pushed through and worked til lunch, We had a nice lunch, then I finished work and had a nap. We then had our weekly date night
Tonight we went on a walk at a lovely local park on the banks of the Potomac River.

He helped me feel sane today! Seriously

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Time to move the laundry. - 2023-08-25

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Morning Pages WARNING SUPER LONG (is that redundant?) - 2023-08-24

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