Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2023-11-06 - 8:25 p.m.

My former sister in law pulls in about $350K in salary from two different full time project management jobs and her consulting work, for her own company.

Good article on this topic:

She also has a mechanical engineering degree so is very tech suavy and the PMP etc... a ton of other credentials next to her overahiever name. Basically the kind of driven person I would RUN FROM interpersonally when I meet them.
But true...

I joke that in dating anyway, the more letters after someone's name, the faster one should run...
as well, there has to be SOME deep insecurity that the person is trying to overcompensate for!

Maybe that is not really true,,,

But I D K.... I haven't seen good things in the personal lives of those kind of overachievers. ALTHOUGH I am happy for her she is finally really content in her current marriage.
She married a guy who is not into tech at all, who is a laborer! A good hard working man who will never compete professionally with her who supports her being happy in her work and is happy in his doing something so completely different. A man without low self esteem who does not care his wife brings in the higher income.

She sounded the best I had heard her in years. Well, it has been years since I talked with her last-
but I know it was hard for her to find good balance and happiness in her life with her own obvious workaholism, and trying to be married.

I am just happy to not be a workaholic anymore.

It was so nice that when I logged in to just check on my client email ( I do every day- just in case they need something ) to get a THANK YOU for working a bit on my day off.
I did tell the client I support most often that I take Monday's off. I also was transparent about my weekend low wage service job in the retirement community.

I think she gets it. We have to do what makes us BALANCED and happy!

And honestly even when it gets boring the work with the older people, and just being there observing and helping the care providers of the world is so gratifying. I have no idea why I find it so easy in that environment. It is just funny to me that somehow I don't get stressed by the behaviors of people. I am rather chill and go with the flow of it all and somehow just know how to react to people.

Its hard to teach those interpersonal skills. Some people have them natrually, and for others it is much harder to know how to respond when there are , I don't even know what to call the moments of emotional challenges... Melt downs? Upset? Drama?

But somehow I have the right things pop into my head, whether by intuition or some other grace...
I don't know how, but am just good at knowing what to say, or most often knowing what NOT to say. Its the little things like redirecting folks into another room when I say " Who wants some popcorn?" and then going to make popcorn quickly and having gotten everyone to leave the front foyer where they were all hanging when I saw a particularlly upset person heading down a hall to that foyer. I can get everyone into another room and start popcorn and somehow pivot and then get the other person to go somewhere else..

OK BAD example. I am trying to make something up that did not happen... I mean I don't write of the ACTUAL read stories...

but that twist was a bad fabrication,,,
cause in reality I surely would have burned that microwave popcorn...

SO imagine it was cookies-
I said "Come have a snack"

and really fast whipped up cookies on a tray for the folks redirect to one space and effectively then was able to go talk with and calm someone known to actually have such a melt down and go ballistic....
on occasion

YES occasionally someone has moments which are challenging and not everyone is good at helping those "someone's calm down. I just have a gift for it.

So I guess that is why that work is gratifying. I feel like I know I personally have this way of helping people that makes their lives better.

It is a funny thing that there is a Contract Officer who comes in to see his parents in the one place I work. I don't tell him my clients at all, but I know where he works and he is great to talk shop with, as occasionally I would have some contract issue to run by him.

He said he would do a training session for the professional org I am in, but I eventually figured out he was being kind. He said yes but did not really mean that.

I don't always pick up on such social nuances. It is wild to me I can be sensitive to know how to help others calm, and I can read when someone is upset but I MISS the social cues of actually well, what else can I call it- LYING

Like I miss the little while lies people make in the interest of social norms of "politeness".

I swear this is an autism thing. And while I am not autistic ( I think!) I swear I have that trait of taking things so literally initially- and sometimes not picking up on the nuances of polite untruths!
I just don't get it in a way-
(BUT Do in another way , once I figure it out!)
how folks just lie because it is uncomfortable for them to tell the truth!

So I finally stopped bothering the guy to try to pin down a time for the session. It was just not happening.
Its just a bit disappointing as I had the venue. My winery owner friend was happy to open for us on a Thu night. He is typically not open Thu nights, but was going to do so for this professional org event.
I really wanted to have a live event.
I want to give back and mentor some younger folks in this industry.
The more I work the clearer it becomes that there are alot of folks out there that could use some training in certain areas; and I do love teaching. I always have.

I am good at it.

I suppose I could create a proposal to the one client-
I do see some gaps and areas that I could be of help educating the one CEO's leadership team.

The crazy thing is how depleted of energy I feel when there is even ONE toxic personality in the mix in a workplace.

I feel that from one.

JUST ONE person. I should be able to push through and develop a stronger working relationship with this one person. I don't support them much. Its only one person, Only one challenge.

I need to envision connecting and developing his trust in my expertise so he knows listening to me is wise.

I am just still taken aback by some actual uninformed comments and truly bad judgement calls that were made on a call when I was sick. I should move beyond worrying about this- as it was now a while ago... and I know long enough ago that the bad advice will be forgotten. I am trying to repeat the sound guidance. Trying to create my mantra in this space... by repeating the same messaging--- of best practices with consistency... ( not here saying what my mantra is- but I actually have one! YES I have a professional mantra. It in fact should be written as an article and submitted to the professional org magazine I think... there's an idea...) 

It will help if I never, ever have a dropped call again when I facilitate my meeting to assess what support I can offer-
to touch base and forecast a bit upcoming work.

I need to provide some forecasting as that was requested of me.

Its hard to do that when there is not enough communication , on the front end, from the business development folks ( who are fantastic. I think the world of them- and of the person I report to, or should say persons. The one who is resistant to respecting guidance I give is someone I get it... someone who has had certain things in their lane.. in their queue of tasks, and there has been a shift of responsibility for certain things to me.. so I get it.. that can feel threatening to some. BUT it is not meant to be- it is to free up the person's time to focus on their core job! AND it is clear this leader is valued, so I don't get the negativity toward me and lack of willingness to integrate me into the much as I think would benefit the company.)

OK I am not supposed to be thinking of work.

My kid, the one no longer a kid, asked if we could make homemade granola. I preheated the oven and she got tired. So I am going to just make it, She was a big help as we both were working on trying to declutter the kitchen more. We got rid of so much stuff but STILL have way too much.

My new tenant is awesome. He also likes to cook. He asked if he can have some space in the kitchen, so we cleared off two shelves so he can put his stuff there.

My very first tenant ever used that space and used to use the kitchen. All the others since just cooked downstairs with toaster ovens and microwave and the radiant heat cooktop.
This guy is going to use the kitchen so I need to declutter it a bit more and reorganize it and free up counter space and make it a nicer shared space.

Its not BAD but I think can be greatly improved if we get rid of stuff not needed.

Now that it is just the one last remaining kid at home and I we can certainly reduce the clutter more!

We got a bit done- reduced the number of water bottles! It was embarrassing just how many water bottles we pulled out!
My bestie in fact had done that when she was visiting a few weeks ago. She came to town to visit but unfortunately sprained her ankle and instead of being able to run all over the place to visit all her many friends she was laid up on my couch for most of about two weeks off and on, between my place and one other friend of hers. I legitimately enjoyed her company! We did alot of NOTHING. Seriously- neither of us have likely ever watched as much Netflix!
We binged watched Gilmore Girls. I think I made it to season 3- she kept going and watched them all after I went to work. It was perfect to chill to- fun and frivolous overall, I mean frivolous to us as two single moms as the TV lives are honestly never as dramatic as ours have been!


We laugh about that.

I mean I watched MAID on Netflix and that was pretty good as far as being authentic...
but other than that... most are watered down versions... and that is good to be honest. I mean no one needs to really be exposed to real trauma if they don't have to. TV should be entertaining...
light... fun

Life is heavy enough.
LIFE SHOULD BE comfortable and not filled with drama.

Which is why I am happy to be still having work life balance and not have succumbed to a full time role in a job that demands all my energy and leaves me none for anything else.

I am tired,
On that note I am going to finish this granola making venture and kitchen organization to best of ability and head to bed.

I have to be up early to actually work tomorrow.

I have business development to do.
Work for clients is light right now so I have to take advantage of that and invest time on planning for growth. I chatted with another person who is happy to work for me if I find a role for them just yesterday. This is another data analyst (That is three who do that work that I would be thrilled to find a position for. That means perhaps if there is an RFP that needs a TEAM to do that I could potentially pull together all three... Two out of three are actively looking and WANT to work for me, the third employed, the forth- oh yeah a 4th with actual last job title DATA officer has their own irons in the fire, but since nothing panned out YET, I have a strong feeling if I found a good fit for that person to lead a team that the other two (or three) would be great team players and that person might be psyched if I make a solid offer to them, along with the other team members I envision as junior to that lead. One of the four already has a security clearance but I know the others are all able to be cleared ( one had one in past, but expired) so that makes it easier as I can seek both commercial and gov projects. I should be able to find a good fit and an RFP I can respond to! It just takes TIME and EFFORT.
I have to put in the work.
Basically I have worked with two of the other three and know they are stellar. The third I met at the workforce development center and she was such a lovely person- but SHY, I mean mild and soft spoken and SWEET so the kind of person who would not distinguish self and stand out and survive in a survival of the fittest situation-
which many jobs that are temp are;
They hire more than they need and let them compete!
This solid hard working lady would NEVER win in that situation-
BUT would be a very valuable and loyal worker!
I really admire her as she worked her butt off at Target for years. 14 years to be exact, and then worked through school while working full time and learned skills, to better herself and progress, and then graduated and I feel like deserves a chance to work at a full time role where I know she would be content and work for YEARS if allowed. I mean anyone who would stay at Target, to work up to team lead and stay there for YEARS has a sense of work ethic and loyalty and customer service skills. She might not be the brightest, or the most ambitious. She might be content in her lane, doing the same thing over and over for years, and not be ambitious- but those are all fantastic qualities for certain jobs that require attention to task without minding that the tasks are not particularly exciting.

SO my goal is to land her a role *if she has not otherwise found one. I just want to see this kind hearted, hard working, soft spoken lady succeed. She had such humility and graciousness, and gratitude about her. I just get sick of the narcissistic and ego inflated folks being the most successful while kind people continue to have trouble finding work despite being capable.
Bravado and confidence should not be the measure of a good worker.

I am thinking of a hilarious song.. oh but I won't go off on the panopticon...... leave these rambling thoughts in my head...

but to share this...

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!

Up later than hoped. But my best friend called and I picked the phone up. She can be stressful sometimes, but such is life...and we have to love friends and sometimes just put up with their difficult parts of personality. - 2023-11-09


Working tonight- time flys when having fun, and yes I am having fun. - 2023-11-08


ON trust and doing business - 2023-11-08


Garlic triggered me - 2023-11-08


I really did forget. And it is wonderful, to remember the forgetting for a brief moment. - 2023-11-06