2024-09-10 - 2:21 a.m.

I think it absolutely nuts that folks make issues of transgender healthcare a political issue at all and fight here in the U.S. over signage on bathrooms and whether a person can go into a private bathroom by themself with a sign that allows anyone to use it.

So ludicrous.

Its just bizarre to me that so much energy to argue such nonsense. Let the small percentage just live in peace and stop discriminating and centering so much energy on hating differences.

When someone recognizes discrimination and does something to stop it-
I don't get the push back.

I mean this is a small percentage of population.
Its HARD to be different

How about compassion?

And if you don't "Get it" just then how about minding your own business? I just don't get it why there is so much anger and others respond as if their reality actually affects them in any way.

All this nonsense.

Why can't you listen to someone's expression of their experience without centering the conversation around YOURSELF?
That is the part I don't get

Trans folks are increasing their vocal presence and want to be seen and heard. Can't we let them without is somehow being a trigger for others to dig into an attack of them acting like the trans community being see in somehow any THREAT to the rest of the world?

IT makes no sense.

Look at the numbers. This is a pretty reliable site:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1269778/gender-identity-worldwide-country/

Not sure why this popped to mind other than saw some recent stupid headline. With all that goes on of actual concern in this world to many, so much media attention to idiotic comments made get great attention.

Bizarre.

I really came on line to see if the Pet Insurance company responded to my email telling me they inadvertedly sent me TWO packages with the little pet tag for my dog.

I am sure I got someone else's package too! It seems like they accidentally printed the tracking label twice and then pulled two packages instead of one. So which tag # really corresponds with my pup?

And what pet is supposed to have received the 2nd package?
No answer.

I figured do this one thing then go back to bed. Rarely have insomnia.

I had a nice swim yesterday morning and a productive day. BUT then was tired so went to bed early! But heard the household which settled around 1AM ( Dang they were up late) One of them had been asleep super early- maybe 8pm ish? NAP I guess, then woke around 11 or so? Up a couple hrs then back to bed 1:45 - but it woke me up more fully.

Thus the challenges when sharing a room. I have a roomie, an actual roomie in my home-
For time being.

Shared space with fam as they figure out next step. Nice when at boyfriends but I need to be here at home sometimes too.

I have to take care of taxes for business and send them off.
I have a few other things-
actually a project for Client and deadline of 13th set for self that I need to push to get done-

so I need a really productive week.

I am off to a good start. I do think my productivity is increased when I am home in my own space after I settle in from time not here. It takes a day or two to take care of the actual CARE of my home. Taking care of the deep cleaning that the young adults here don't do- things like vacume and spot clean or run the carpet cleaner. Deep clean bathrooms ( Which I do every couple weeks). But after I do that kinda stuff- weather mop the kitchen floor or dust- whatever the house clean up project, or weed my garden and take care of yard- THEN I settle into the space again. Its the simple things- the cup of coffee on my porch; the fact I can take walk breaks with my dog. The fact I love to swim in the AM and actually am more inclined to do it here for some reason ( easier to get into the routine when alone for me). Then I enjoy some time here to settle in , be productive-
and then it is kinda nice to miss my boyfriend who is in his world getting in his zone hopefully-
and look forward to going back to his home ( Which is becoming ours little by little. Still very much his, but there are a couple marks of my presence. Just enough- HA HA I am not territorial by nature. I don't need to have more than a place for clothing just now and light and open windows allowable when there! That alone is a big shift from his habits. He very sweetly calls it ours sometimes which make me chuckle just a little as it is so not anything other than the man cave! I mean it is ALL man cave! HA HA
But that is fine cause I have my own space here in my home-
AND we can enjoy the going back - or rather I can enjoy the going back and forth, and he who has been a batchelor can enjoy his space
to just let go and not have to worry about dishes etc... HA for a couple days. I mean I think we all need that kind of letting go and just chilling and being lazy to reset and rest sometimes.

I think he needs that after a big stretch of push to work super hard to meet a major project deadline.

He has been working his butt off. I think he needs to decompress and re-set.
He worked his ass off for us as well-

Took my whole clan to Ren Faire.
It was truly a beautiful thing to do, and so loving and generous and a special day. Of course not without typical family moments! I mean come on now- what family with neurodivergent folks is not going to have one have a meltdown after a whole day at something as overstimulating as Ref Faire? Its alot. Heck kids grow up - but fundamentally are still the same people. So the ones that would be overwhelmed and find an whole day out a bit too much as kids still do so as adults.

My kids really got into creating the costumes to wear. The housemate renter was so thrilled. She was the cutest ordering items and planning well ahead of time.
Her partner, significant other who comes over and is in this household about as much as her ( almost! They are too cute- go back and forth between the other's place and here. So the tenant is sometimes gone for days as they are there- like most couples that in dating often go back and forth alternating time between both places for that stage of relationship).

One of my kids slept 13 hrs yesterday. Needed recovery time. After about the same amt of sleep the day before ( or more actually!)

My boyfriend too slept the day after.

I think I was the only one who actually was physically and mentally able to get up Sunday morning after that outing.

I had the motivator of church responsibilities I had signed up for.
I was actually really grateful for that Sunday morning community this week. It was really nice for me to see the church peeps, enjoy Sunday service. I find it really grounding. Then we had a Misson Committe meeting and I have volunteer work to do to help make that succesful.

I walked away with a TO DO.

Action item:
Make a QR code or get the Church secretary to do so for the sign up of the event; to direct to the link.

Not hard-
Just have to get it done.

So my to do for tomorrow:

QR Code
Find the list of Marketing items for arts org need quote on. It here somewhere ( Or boyfriend's house?) I will find it, or re-create from memory and do the best I can. Its on the minutes from our last board meeting. OOPS... somewhere..

ADHD #1 moment of last week: For sure getting fired as scheduled at both jobs was it

BUT ADHD #2 moment would be losing my notes from a board meeting. ( Not gone- just misplaced) while there are specifics of the action items on the sheet not sure where it is.

I did follow up a bit . Had quick chat with my marketing guru Buffalo guy. He can give us way better price than what the board would have been paying. I couldn't not chime in ( Eventually) to let them know this fact. I mean it would be silly to not have him help us at near wholesale prices.

Speaking of exs
I am glad I got over the trigger that I did not know rattled me but I think did. I had a day last week that was really off-
I mean I was upset at being fired. YEAH it did upset me. I had trouble getting into flow early last week. Was in a funk the beginning of the week. But I ALSO realized the random stopping by of ART really threw me.

I am not going to engage. I don't want to give him any portal to try to be involved in my life. I mean not now.
I am not up for the drama.

He does not respect boundaries. I know this.

Oh- the scorpion and the frog story.

https://gretchenrubin.com/podcast/little-happier-the-fable-the-scorpion-the-frog/

I just remembered and had to think about where I heard it. When walking the dog on Sunday after church I ran into my dear friend and neighbor and had a nice chat with him. He as always talked of his relationship and I listened. He also told me that fable. I have no idea now what prompted it at all. Something in his world... I did not mention Art to him; or anything other than sharing good news of my engagement and hearing about his world; and talk of cats! He loves cats... ha ha... I was telling him I am getting used to the one being in my home. I discovered this AM when woke up with asthma and needed to get out of the house to get fresh air that I could swim and that it actually surprisingly helped!

I told him we really do need to go on a double date! That has been on my bucket list for a while. To connect with him and his love as a couple. I think it would be good for both of us- both couples. I did invite him once to something and they could not make it. I want to reach out with intention again. Will have to follow up.

AND we also as a couple have to follow up with invite to celebrate our engagement with friends of my fiancé.
The wife of one of his besties is really great. They came to Ren Faire and it was good to see them for a little bit- albeit a short while. I like them. My youngest hit it off with her as she had joined us when we did the Assauteage camping trip. It was funny at the time as it was my family camping plan last Fall-
rescheduled as most of my clan poo pooed the idea- and just did not want to go! I could not convince them , and they told me how they HATED camping!! WHAT??
I was trying to promote socialization and since the kids bailed ( but for one-who rarely goes anywhere)- I was trying to get a friend with kids her age to also come ( who goes camping often). He was busy- already had a camping trip that weekend with his family- but it opened up the conversation with my boyfriend where said "invite friends!" HE did- and one of his besties said NO but responded "But my wife wants to come" .
She was the best camping partner! I mean she LOVES hiking and camping. She knew the actual park as her parents live near there and she has actually gone winter camping there herself.

At Ren Faire she commented "I haven't gone hiking in a whole month!!" - Lamenting as she missed it! She was going on a long hike with her hiking buddies on Sunday. Turns out she did exactly what I did and joined a Hiking Meet up when she discovered her love of hiking and she goes regularly.

To each his own.
The youngest said she would go to make me happy. A nice gift to me.
Then my boyfriend said he would like to come along and he ended up going all out in planning which was super sweet.

It was good trip with just a bit of stress as unfortunately I had to work! I could not log off completely.
I learned NEVER to plan vacation in the last quarter of the gov fiscal year!
Just gets too busy.

This year I am so happy with my workflow/work life balance
and ability to manage surges.

My employee is working out great!

Its been a slow couple weeks. I think I will send him whatever comes in next just to give him work and keep him happy and viable. Less cash for me but worth it to continue to invest in him consistently working a bit and valuing the role.
(If too little work he might find something else or lose interest. So need to give something I think- but not too much consistently is my plan).

So yea will leverage him while focus on the development of others.

Set my intention for this week!

Tomorrow:
1. Find the list of items for marketing the board needs quote on and send that email off to Buffalo guy of specifications.
2. Take care of QR code and
3. Pay taxes.

Then work on Client work:

* Send NDA to draft to my guy/employee ( to keep him engaged); while I follow up on the niggling, lingering things to close. ( Annoying couple of lingering things.... Things that should be closed deals. One snafu... its really a stall it seems. Almost very intentional. I figure politics HA HA Agency BS. If someone wants to stall and try to make a case for a new contractor picking up a contract is is REALLY Easy to do so...when the existing incumbent... ok scratch all this---
I will get it done. We can finalize what was sent and stop the dancing. That is sometimes just the way to go- and I just need approval to do so.)

This is the trouble. Sometimes folks don't want to be accountable for decisioning.
Their indecision IS A DECISION
and sometimes that gets lost on them.

The problem for me is-
I do not have delegation of authority to make some decisions

AND unless I were an employee-
I can't have it.
I mean the business decisions are the business people's role- ( Whether I am supporting an organization or part of an org. Legal is always back end support. I am a supporting player in the background really-
BUT

Getting to YES INTERNALLY Is sometimes the hardest negotiation.
Just logistically.
Its silly sometimes.
But I am the customer facing resource-
therein lies the problem. It appears I am the hold up when I am not.
Sometimes its an issue of too many cooks in some kitchens'.
In other shops/kitchens to use the analogy, its an issue of the kitchen missing a solid Sous chef

I don't have a thin skin. I just suck it up and look to see what I can do to improve this problem and solve it SO; lol.. unless I had an actual role which was akin to a sous chef in a kitchen- not really my job; but I don't neglect the need I see, and dont; step on toes either-
so am a collaborative team player who works together to help them all as a team become stronger better faster ( HA HA)
increase efficiency

and just do what I can
to prod those who I need to move things along with their decisions and approvals

Honestly I am super happy with the great folks I work with and the good work we all do
My clients are the best.

I can't complain.

BUT I do want to wrap up the darn niggling thing that I wished was done.

OH what the hell
I might just do the darn NDA myself. Not worry about my guy staying engaged.... if no other work came in from this client. I am in the holding pattern of waiting...
waiting for approvals...

I got out of bed to follow up on the two dog tags and actually to do something I RARELY DO.
WORK

I am going to review email just to see if any approvals I am waiting on came in later in day. I was not staying on line when I had nothing more to do once it was dinner time.

Maybe someone responded. If so I will draft an email with "Schedule send" for a reasonable hr.

The reason for this is that one of my cohorts is also across the world-

in our global economy.

Someone I needed something for showed a 2AM actual time their time that I sent a request to them!
I will send email to them real time... but only them if they responded yet. The rest of email will be scheduled send. Won't hold anything up to have their email correspondance held off to protect my pride ( and not let it be seen I am up at odd hour) if they are actually ON LINE and working at this time ( which is NORMAL for them)!

I try to NOT work funky hours.
Not typical but I did go to sleep super early...
won't work long.

THEN Really dig into the

Wish got all three done today but did not. Tomorrow will be a better day as need to knock them off! ( "Pay yourself first!" I remind myself of that each week and put energy into my business FIRST before put my labor into the billable hrs for existing client. Keep my house organized and clean FIRST is my philosophy and don't let it get messy or out of hand!)

So today I did have a meeting with a prospective client. Will see- but it looks good that I might pick up another. Again an Upwork client who found me. It is a better platform than I knew at first for sure.

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