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2019-09-18 - 1:00 p.m.

Oh my he is so handsome and seemed so nice....

And I kinda felt this chemistry when I randomly met the guy who I already know some things about because when I walk my dog I see what goes in the neighbor's recycle bins and trash...


Lol

So there were some surprises when had a nice chat with this fellow as walked dog one morn and he was waiting for uber.

I noted on plates on car combination of letters that include govt. Thought meant one the many govt employees.

Saw some tactical ballistic books tossed out. And hints of military....
So made some assumptions. I MEAN I WAS THINKING

as I walk around my neighborhood

Why the hell around here is the trash from whom serm like the single men , and their swag....bumper stickers, decor, cars etc.... ALL just say

Upper Class Republican that most likely voted for Trump and is most likely a narcissist ?

( I saw some study said BMWs are driven by narcissists and I found that hilarious )


I do this thing as I walk the neighborhood


I observe stuff. artifacts of lives, snippets of sound
And enjoy imagining who the people are.

So it was absolutely lovely one Sun morn a few weeks ago to hear an opera singer practicing!! It gave me such joy to hear her. I said hello to that lady a week later and just enjoyed observing she and her two small boys work on putting scarecrows in their flower bed this morn.

I so enjoyed one night the beauty of random guy who enjoys woodwork as he was in flow one night in his basement and I just caught the image of his intent concentration cutting the wood with a table or miter saw , through the curtainless window.

Walking the neighborhood is just fun. I feel like I should get to know the lady I see cleaning up her kitchen like clockwork at dusk, the same time I love to walk Bellatrix to see the sunset.

So after observing , and lamenting to self the obvious military service, govt work and lack of seemingly single men around her I think I could enjoy getting to know without cringing at some of their beliefs

I know I am making assumptions here


But I had a very brief e harmony profile and well... the pickings were ..so homogeneous and sorta stomach turning for me in their grown frat boy personas. ...

Now it's not that I dont respect life of service in govt capacity for good of other. I DO. I CONSIDERED a job recently in such.


But its moreso I think govt work that is actually for greater good in service of others is almost mythical

I question its CREDIBILITY

So there is this weird thing I grapple with.

I ADMIRE thise who serve for our freedom and greater good and well being of all

But feel like some have been duped (possibly all?)

Yet still find some of the best people I know

Have been or are military.

So I find this attraction to those in military who are convicted about their commitment to serve believing it is honorable and of the highest calling.


I think of th he men I know who are military. I have seen integrity in some respects ( when I think about it monogamy not really their strong points..hmmm..wonder if that says anything about these mens relationship and perception of women or if it says more about one area men I know have had trouble in being diciplined about, holding fast to that commitment in relationship, while their lives are so disciplined in every other respect. Is it because of their view of women, Or self (building and feeding ego with l sexual liaisons )or both? Or neither ? , but that they were not able to reflect true beliefs or rather non belief in monogamy and acknowledge polyamory was more aligned to their actual values and who they are?

Anyway point being I had In my mind a characatire of who I thought would be the Marine that I thought worked for govt in some capacity and just expected to be the kinda classic buff military guy
like many that are in this area. I mean there was a cop on my street and I somehow thought the guy in the one house was going to be similar to him. That cop suggested we go hiking together once. I think I said said something so clearly friend zoning and immediately mentioned out of control, disrespectful teens and some comments I knew would squelch any interest from super hot cop who seemed to devote more time to himself and his physique going to the gym than anything else which frankly is something I kinda feel almost revulsion from... I know I judge, but I have one male friend so obsessed about his body and working out that irritates me with his comments on my or other womems physiques. Damn he has to compliment me on my body and I truly have no body image issues nor ever have and can take a meaningful compliment but find repeated compliments on my looks really somehow irritating. I judge him as shallow and insecure and as always seeking validating on his looks and I just find that insecurity so unnattactive. It's like his compliments on my looks remind me of the comments he made disparaging of other women and just remind me how he objectifies women and has an ideal of beauty so informed by societal images he has a hard time finding typical woman attractive.

So I had expected a single mid life batchelor who is the buff, grown frat boy with federal or state govt. military or law enforcement job. With a dog, a motorcycle, and knows good beer, that voted for or Trump, to be in that particular house that was screaming batchelor to me. Assuming one single by choice who lets women into his world to meet his needs but not actually to have true emotional intimacy with.There are too many of those kinda guys here...Oh there are batchelor signs....perfectly manicured lawns, quiet all the time, nothing askew ever, never much trash, no toys or sports equipment or things kids would have...no mom minivan...


Yes I made assumptions after reading those e harmony profiles , assumptions
Including
"I dont think I will every meet a man here, In this place I could ever consider of interest. "

I literally thought the day I passed the recycling bin with books on ballistics and tactical planning for combat....

"Cant I just come across one person's recycle bin with old poetry mags or literary mags they are leaving out??"

So assumed I would not be at all interested in any man could meet here.

Wrong

Guy I randomly met was a Marine. That guess was accurate.

But has been a teacher for last 15 to 20ish years.
(I am not a good listener apparently as forget how long)

A teacher.
Hmmm
Now that is a career of service to others that I DO, without reservations, believe truly is noble, selfless, and a daily act of nothing short of love that does have potential to impact our world to be a better place.

That was not what I expected.

And he was warm. And charming, and had this just beautiful energy....I mean, it felt like joy about him.

Just thrown by how meeting him seemed just so not what I expected.

And the license plate did have a message I just didn't get it...
I read the letters to mean short for government

They were an intended message

"Go vote "

Yes! This man restored my optimism.


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