2020-07-12 - 6:07 a.m.
Update on the kids from the other family whom were put through the wringer of social condemnation here in Western Loudoun VA years ago due to their kids being excessively tardy to school:
I haven't mentioned it here, but of course I was destined to meet this family over years and get to know them in other contexts.
First when it happened there was mutual smirking.
It was ironic , satisfying and frankly absolutely predictable. We have creative, smart kids which was not ancillary to our parenting choices but I am positive nurtured by some choices, including the one to prioritize needs of each individual child over social percrption of our parenting and sociatal pressure and norms, including being on time to school on a given day in a given moment. IF NOT on time some intervening need or priority or impedement took precedence in such moment, be it by choice or reality of disability demanding such.
For instance, when not bringing a kid on time to school who was not emotionally in a place ready many woukd judge but I knew it was the right choice. (Many still will judge as today I allow my now 17 year old still challenged with what is now disgnosed as actual autism spectrum disorder "let" chronic illness of a heart condition dictate whether able to function to focus on the two extended classes not yet finished to graduate. They were be completed in time....and that is fine.)
I distinctly recall the 2nd time I encounted this family. Their daughter danced unbelievably beautifully at a local ballet performance and was stunning. Knowing about the discipline and practice, dedication and skill to do what she made look naturally effortless informed me more there were choices and prioritization and perhaps teaching self management and regulation and organization of their kids way back when. Perhaps teaching if self responsibility by allowing soacecto fail was also employed as a parent, but earlier in development than some parents are comfortabke with yet it was clear those choices of these parents were not made in a vacuum without any teaching of discipline, conformance to rules, doing that which you may not want to at times and pushing through pain and challenges and learning to work well with others. A dancer can not be successful otherwise.
The third time was the AH HA moment. Working on the arts administration side of business matters and production of the theater and arts programs for an children with disabilities, this family's impressive kids emerged on stage and in classes of programs I helped with in some respect. It was years later and the oldest were in high school. AH HA I recognized the 2e gifts of some in this impressive family. Truly exceptional!
It made me so pleased to see thst the dancer in that family, years ago slammed with vitrol by some who dared to call both them and me unfit parents who should never have had kids,
Is attending a prestigious ballet school in the Fall.
She already spent a summer at another city in a professional ballet company intensive and that was thrilling to see last year.
Of course for years those same parents who were so judgemental were bringing their kids to see shows and the Nutcracker and likely did not each time recognize the name of those kids.
I however did, and honestly it made me by extension of that small moment of a shared parenting experience I bizarrely had with their parents, feel proud.
Our exceptional kids will continue to do great things. Each and every one of them, in their own time, in their own way.
Just you wait.
Just you wait. - 2020-07-12
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