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2022-03-10 - 5:57 p.m.

When an Ex sends a msg and says "Want to see a play this weekend or next?" and actually excited.... like super excited... cause they were always good company so know comfortable as friends... AND this is NOT one of those who ONLY Wants to spend time with me IF I will sleep with him. That is the actual key. An actual friendship is valued. Of course one needs time when have a dating relationship to pivot and move on looking for the ideal partner. I am so fine spending time with friends who are NOT the ideal partner in the meantime.... as I am for this guy. Love his honesty.
And cause they are friends with some theater peeps
one producing one show and their significant other involved in another show....

AND BOTH look SUPER GOOD, how can I say no? I mean--/p>

I mean it is Godspell

The pick for me is the new work. I LOVE seeing debuts of a new theater piece.
It's perhaps one of my fav things.


I literally live for such moments... or rather WORK for such moments.

And it is exciting to have someone who ALSO enjoys them.

Too bad we never had tremendous CHEMISTRY

Not sure WHY

there were sparks...

but nonetheless it is nice to have a solid friendship

and to be comfortable with THAT.

I think it is also hard to really be into anyone much when they are not into you much LOL

Perhaps we are both narcissistic in that way..

a person is interesting if in LOVE WITH ME HA HA

and true for him?

Neither of us trust unless a sure thing??

I don't think I am REALLY like this.

Never had been in past/ nor felt fear or worry if liked....
so for me I think it is not really that ( I JUST JOKE as that is Definitely the case for dismissive avoidant types hurt via trauma... like my most recent lover I believe. ( Who I have now not seen IN PERSON for MONTHS.) He has ALL the telltale signs of that being the case. The mantra "I am bad at relationships" so therefore not INVESTING or believing worth his time... etc....)

I interestingly ALWAYS test SOLIDLY as having a secure attachment.

YET I DON'T WANT TO ATTACH except in a really platonic deep way UNLESS there is EVERYTHING I am looking for-

Which I think, perhaps unfairly INCLUDES SECURE ATTACHMENT.

Is that really unfair of me?
as I am no looking for commitment AT THIS POINT IN LIFE so attract those not interested in a REAL Relationship.

or if it is MY block

will see

in time.. I am just not in any rush. LOL So true. I love being single. Cause I really Value the ME time and the FAMiLY time and I won't EVER enter a relationship which compromises either of those.

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